April 5, 2014
Well, I’m 13 days past when Fertility Friend says I
ovulated. 12 days past my positive OPK. So…if I DID ovulate, anywhere from
11-13 days past ovulation, or DPO in the TTC (trying to conceive) world.
Negative pregnancy test. Well, I “think” I saw a slight tinge of a line, but
realistically, it’s probably my mind playing tricks on me. And, after my false
positives, until I see the line progression as it gets darker, I won’t get too
excited. I am excited to see that my temps stayed above cover line though.
Fingers crossed.
I’m feeling a bit discouraged this morning by negativity in
the POF community. Someone in one of the support groups vented about hating
seeing people post pregnancy stuff on FaceBook and someone replied that they’ve
deleted and lost countless friends from posting too much about pregnancy. Come
on ladies!!
Let’s throw that negativity out. Yes, we all have the right to get
hurt, discouraged, fed up, etc, but the key is to feel and process those
feelings and then rise above it. Faulting someone else for their happiness is
silly.
Can you imagine, if you deleted all your friends in
relationships if you were single? Friends that ran marathons if you were
paraplegic? Friends that were chefs or foodies if you were diabetic? You’d have
none left. It can get obsessive making everyone feel like they have to walk on
eggshells, handle you with kid gloves or hide parts of their lives and
happiness from you.
The realistic approach is EVERYONE has their own trials and
tribulations. Ours may be infertility and it sucks. BIG TIME! But, there are
people dealing with cancer, death of loved ones, debt, depression, abuse, etc.
We just don’t know what lies in people’s hearts or in their paths. Instead of
faulting people who are celebrating their pregnancies or babies, let’s rejoice
with them and hope and pray that we may follow in their footsteps, sooner than
later. And, if you can’t do it, just “hide” their posts. Losing friends over
our own internal struggle with acceptance, or, in our case, PATH to fertility
and healing is silly and selfish. Life is too short to dwell on that.
I wrote a few weeks ago about the tinge of sadness I had
over a friend’s pregnancy announcement. It was short lived, and wasn’t the
pregnancy itself, but the eerie coincidence of it all. If I’d let myself mull
over that, I’d be surrounded by negativity. That’s NOT healthy. And, it’s not
Christian. Since then, a few other friends have announced their impending
bundle of joy and I can honestly say I was elated with every single one. I
guess until that woman posted in that support group about “deleting friends” as
they got pregnant or rejoiced in their pregnancy, it never even occurred to me
how many women feel that way.
Perhaps it is different for me because I DO have a healthy
baby. Perhaps I am naïve. But, I know my “loss” was real when I heard the
doctor diagnose me. BUT, I refuse to accept that diagnosis. Only the Lord can
see who is barren, and it says right in the bible no man or woman shall be. I
trust he will honor his promise. For those of you that aren’t religious, take
heart that, scientifically, our bodies were created to heal themselves.
Long post short. Rejoice with others as they rejoice. Let’s
not let our own sorrows deflate others. We’re bigger than that. Allow yourself
to feel sorrow and grieve, yes. However, find your own happiness. Focus on
healing. Focus on health. Focus on less stress. Focus on what you LOVE.
God Bless.
