Embryo Adoption Awareness Day

Nov. 25, 2014

Happy Embryo Adoption Awareness Day!!! Did you know about it before my blog? If so, you were leaps and bounds ahead of myself. I only became aware this was an option about a month ago. I'm still struggling with if this will be our path as I feel deep rooted in my soul my body is healing and my bio baby is coming soon (say that with that deep voice from the movie previews...)

I do however think it's important to get the message out that Embryo Adoption is a beautiful, affordable choice that gives beautiful snowflakes a chance at life! I also think it's important that people who have embies on ice know there are options other than just letting them sit freezing for decades or be thawed and disposed of. So many people that have undergone IVF know the struggles of fertility and every single embryo or egg harvested is a precious life in their eyes created through a harrowing journey of often blood, sweat and tears.

Our friends who have five embryos was telling me the other day she doesn't know what to do and doesn't want to just donate them because it'd sicken her not knowing what kind of family they had. I told her about embryo adoption and she was astounded. She could choose the family her babes went to. She could even have the choice to keep in touch, or end the relationship there knowing her babies went to families with similar ideals.

A very cool option for the donor and the adoptee. So, take a moment to learn more about it. You can adopt, and still experience a pregnancy, delivery and nursing your baby.

I saw this link to a snowflake necklace and thought if I ever do decide to go this route, I will wear something like this in honor of our miracle, and to raise awareness so others can learn what a cool option this is.

In other news, two blazing OPKs. One yesterday and one this morning. The timing is right for that of a "normal" cycle if my body follows through. All other sings point to fertile too. CD15 here! Fingers crossed. We had our first son on Thanksgiving, so maybe this little one will have a little Turkey Day story in him or her too.

God Bless!

Acupuncture, Herbs and Healing

Nov. 21, 2014

Well, it was back to acupuncture yesterday. The good news, I was "huun how." Apparently, my translation before of "gun how" was incorrect. It's with an "H." I did however recognize "how" right off the bat!

As soon as she said it I started repeating it! "how? how? hun how?" They started laughing and she was nodding. "Yes, yes, good, stronger. Jayou!" Again, forgive my feeble attempt at phonetically translating Chinese.

My pulses were much stronger today. Yippee!! They were also pleased when I told them my period lasted 6 days and although lighter than the average Joe Schmo's flow, it was red, a consistent flow versus spotting and the heaviest it's been since Reed was born.

Win. Win.

We did acupuncture and my tenderest spot was directly over my left ovary. Last time my ovaries were tender it was my right, so I'm wondering if the ovary growing the dominant follicle each month will be more tender. I suppose we'll see as months go on (but I'm reeeeaaally hoping I get a positive before too many cycles elapse.)

It was chilly in the office today, but with the heat lamp over my abdomen, it heated up nicely in there and it was a very relaxing session. It was nice to just zone out for a bit. My pulses at the end were even stronger.

All in all, it was a good day. She said to keep on with the acupuncture and nourishing herbs. I've also been doing my castor oil packs and my femoral massages so I'm thinking that increase in circulation has been helpful.

Today is CD11 and I noticed a temp dip which coupled with a bit of fertile CM could mean my estrogen levels are rising (which builds the endometrial lining and ripens that egg!!) Fingers and toes crossed for a normal cycle!!

Embryo Adoption

Nov. 17, 2014

In my last few posts I've talked about Embryo adoption. I was shocked to log on to Facebook today and see this article scrolling across my feed. For any of you that are interested in it...check it out :)


http://www.people.com/article/embryo-adoption-liz-krainman

Acu Update

Nov. 13, 2014

Well, it was back to the TCM today and they seem to feel this is my "true" period. After chatting about my flow, she felt that my body was ridding itself of old blood, hence the long spotting from before. She saw the clear thermal shift on my chart, and since this blood was, well, like blood rather than thick and brown, it was a true flow. Not heavy, but there. Today it actually got a smidge heavier. I'm thinking the acupuncture may have done that.

When they took my pulse today, they said my "blood" is actually feeling pretty healthy. I was a bit confused, but you know me...I'm good at asking questions ;)

Basically, my right wrist is my Qi and my left wrist is my blood. My blood pulses were stronger today. My Qi channel is still low.

Acupuncture, as I've said before when I'm bleeding is super sensitive. The needle that really hurt today was the one over my right ovary. The left was definitely tender, but when she put the right one in, it felt like there was tremendous pressure in that area.

After acupuncture however, my Qi, per usual, it is drastically improved. I asked them if there is anything I can do to improve my Qi. Exercise? They told me that since I already exercise and am healthy that over exercising would actually deplete me more. They encouraged me once again to improve my "nutrition."

I've learned that this doesn't mean overall nutrition to them. It means proteins. She kept telling me to eat chicken soup. A bit confused I pressed the issue and they told me, "you know, boil a chicken."

"Ahhhhh. So, you want me to eat bone broth?"

Yes! They also said to make sure I am getting plenty of calcium, eggs, fish, meat and to add protein powder to my diet. My hubby has organic protein powder, so I'll be digging into that. She also told me to start eating my goji berries again.

So, off I went to the Asian market. Now, this part, gulp, will make you queasy.  I was already thinking in my head I should have ordered more organic goji berry powder or organic goji berries from Amazon, but figured I didn't want to wait for it to arrive, so I better just get it from the store. I was a bit uneasy them probably not being organic, but for a quick fix until I get my order in, they'd have to suffice.

I went in, got my berries and headed to the car. Thankfully, I went to open it since I hadn't had lunch and thought it'd be a nice snack on the way home. AND THERE WAS A MAGGOT IN THERE!!!! I almost lost my cookies.

I went back in and tried to discretely tell the woman working there what happened. She saw the smooshed critter right there in the bag, so she gave me a new bag. I just stood there in disgust. Um, what if there's one in here. "No, no, this is fresh batch" she said pulling it out of the freezer section.

All I could think on the way home is #1, I will not be telling my husband this happened, he will be appalled (hello sweetie if you ever read this...) and #2, I am either going to freeze these suckers or gobble them up before anything can hatch. And #3 - I am buying the organic powder from now on. I know nothing is hatching in there.

So, as I type this, I'm sitting with my feet soaking and my castor oil pack doing it's thing on my belly. I feel kind if refreshed that it's a true new cycle. I mean, I guess I will never know for sure, but it feels a lot more like a true cycle than that stint of spotting did.

I've still been reading my book It Is Finished by Nerida Walker, but not as quickly as I should be. It's been insanely hectic with work. I think I mentioned before my sister-in-law and I are thinking of opening an Etsy shop for all natural beauty care products? We've been making headway on it. Stay tuned, I'll post a link when it's up and running if you want to try any of our stuff.

Until then, hang in there and God Bless.

If any of you ladies reading want to ever share your journey, don't be a stranger. I know sometimes it's easier and safe to just read others journeys, but we can all learn and encourage each other.

Bleeding again

Nov. 12, 2014

So, excuse my obsessing, but here's a run down. Four days ago I noticed light pink when I wiped. If I didn't over analyze every swipe, twinge or cramp of my body, I'd have never known, but it was there. Same the following day. Then, yesterday, I started spotting, very noticeably. It was enough to wear a liner and consistent throughout the day. It was red blood. Today, the same.

As I was glancing at my chart, I noticed my temps have been consistently high, which I attributed to the time change, but the first two days after the time change, they were still low, so I went to Fertility Friend and switched my CD1 which, if you remember was about an hour of bleeding, to spotting (which it truly was, but it was the most I'd seen in over five months so I made an audible and called it CD1) and ta-da! My chart shows I ovulated between 11-14 days ago. Sooooo..... I may have actually ovulated around the time all the other spotting occurred, and this could conceivably by my "real" period.

Obviously, I will never really know, but if that IS the case, that means my numbers from CD3, were actually the middle of my cycle. An FSH of 48 mid cycle, although still high, is not as scary as CD3...but really...not so scary compared to my initial numbers anyway (gulp!)

That would also mean my LP may have extended. My longest since diagnosis has been 9. So this time, it'd be between 9-12 days. I've also had some pretty bad cramps yesterday and today, which obviously means something's working in there to cause it.

Anyway I look at it...it is what it is. I go back to TCM tomorrow. I kind of hope this is my period is now so I can just look at this as a whole new fresh cycle. It feels better in my mind than another bout of mid-cycle spotting. Either way, nothing changes I suppose. Just keep living and trusting ;)

More Spotting, Say What?

Nov. 10, 2014

Well, I suppose an update is overdue. If you recall, last I left you, I was having the world's shortest (flow) longest (lasting) period. So, I spotted brown for three days, bled a few hrs, then spotted pink / brown on and off for nine more days. Right now, I'm on CD16 (I started CD1 the day of red blood flow, er, trickle.)

Last night, I had a miniscule bit of spotting. Not even enough for a liner, and today the same thing. Looking at my chart, I'm starting to wonder if that was just hormonal mid cycle spotting before and maybe my period is coming? Or, maybe I'm just doing the whole spotting now? Ovulating now? Tough to tell. Here is my chart thus far. If I'd been later in my cycle, I may have thought I ovulated on CD4, and for all I know, maybe I did. If CD1 wasn't CD1, it was in the middle of a long cycle.

Time will tell I suppose.

I did go in for acupuncture and an herb update last Thursday. They said my pulses were stronger. I had more "Jayu." My feeble attempt at sounding out the word they told me is Chinese for "power." My pulse after my session was even better.

Bonus, my herbs are MUCH better this time. The last batch was by far the worst I've had to choke down. With the start of the new cycle, I added vitex back into my mix. I know I'd told you I'd added maca back in a few months ago and bee pollen a while back. I also switched from an every other day dose of royal jelly to two days on, one day off with propolis instead. As always, research your bee products. I attached link to pretty reputable companies. I try to buy mine locally to support local farms, but I've resorted to the links above as well.

Before company arrived I did three days of castor oil packs and soaked my feet every night as well as doing my femoral massage at night after meditating. I stopped about a week in though because I don't want to risk doing that after ovulation.

I've also kept on researching adoption options. Conclusion, WAY WAY WAY too expensive the traditional route. We've been keeping an open mind about fostering to adopt, and more probably adopting embryos. I really like the idea of giving babies who have no chance, a chance. And, I really did love being pregnant. 

Other pluses about that would be I can control everything that goes into my body prenatally and would be able to breastfeed which is really important to me. Also turns out it's about 1/3 of the cost of adopting a child, even after adding in the medical procedures and medicines. 

As much as I look into this, I feel it's not for us just yet. I feel strongly we'll have a biological baby. But, I'll be honest, even if we do, the idea of it is not off the table for the future.

God bless! 

Acu update, Spotting and Investigating Adoption

Oct. 30, 2014

Well, onwards and upwards. It was back to TCM today to share with them the "period" and my new labs. They were happy with the progress. Although they'd have liked heavier blood flow, something is better than nothing. My sentiments exactly. My pulse was a bit stronger today, and nice and strong after my session.

She told me a peculiar thing though. To keep my feet warm. I had no idea that could alter a menstrual cycle, but she showed me how she always wore pantyhose even with sandals because your feet should always stay warm. Out of curiosity, I googled it. Apparently when you bleed you are most vulnerable so TCM says to not go barefoot and avoid swimming in cold water. Here is a link.

https://www.acufinder.com/Acupuncture+Information/Detail/ABCs+of+Fertility+Acupuncture,+Babies,+Chinese+Medicine+-+Part+1

I go around barefoot all the time, so I guess I'll be more conscious of that. I do love my slippers in the winter though, so just another excuse to get my annual pair of Snoozies. Have you tried this things?? You will fall in love.

My session was definitely more relaxed today. I was early, no stressors and I could just lay there. It heart like the dickens though. I won't like. The needles over my ovaries felt like daggers going in! "Hurt?" she asked. "Yes!!" I asked if it was because I was bleeding and she said yes. I'm very sensitive right now because of it. Sweet sassy molassy! She was right!

She was also happy with my labs. Although no beautiful numbers, they were drastically better than last time. And the beauty is, it was done naturally coaxing my body back into health without meds to mask symptoms. I like that.

Something else I feel I should share, full disclosure and all, is I started sending away for information on adoption. The cost of it all makes me want to cry, but we've never been opposed to adopting. I found a few nice Christian agencies (not that we are opposed to others, but these are non profit and I've moral issues with going some of the larger ones that work for profit) in this area. Some of which foster to adopt.

Fostering to adopt is something I'm not certain we want. The big reason - my heart can only handle so much heartache and bringing a child into our family that could leave would devastate me.

Adopting costs upwards of $35,000. A lot of agencies look a lot lower until you read into the "additional" costs. An adoption that looks to be $25,000 after the agency "fees" in usually about $10,000 more. It's all very overwhelming.

I did email our accountant though to discuss the adoption tax credits and how they are applied, so I do know we could get tax dollars back the year it is finalized. There are also numerous grants for me to research if we do decide to proceed in this direction.

There is also the adoption to adopt an embryo. I know my doctors had told me DE IVF, which is donor egg IVF with the egg fertilized with my husbands sperm, but I didn't realize how many families have undergone IVF and are putting their other embies up for adoption. I like that. Because otherwise, those little babes would never have a chance. But again, it is about a $10,000 fee to adopt them (none of which goes to the family by the way - just the agencies!!) and then you pay for the IVF procedure.

The funny thing is, before I never wanted to look seriously into the matter because I felt I was "giving" up on conceiving, but now all of a sudden, I don't feel that way at all. I feel very at peace with we will have another biological child, but this whole journey, with all my prayer, has also given me a certain peace bringing a child into our home another way. I just wish it wasn't so much money. It's staggering really.

So, after all that rambling, I don't know if adoption is a realistic avenue for our family, but I want to research it as best I can. I know we've a spot in our heart and family for a child. I've an odd peace we will conceive and have a healthy baby, but I've always been a bit type "A" in preparing for every outcome.

So, it is CD5 and I'm very optimistic this cycle. I feel good. I'm encouraged my estrogen levels are higher increasing my odds to ovulate, and I'm ensuring I eat well, get good rest and do my best to center myself mentally and spiritually.

Since I KNEW I had not ovulated recently and am not pregnant, I started my castor oil pack yesterday. I did it while I was working. Thankfully my husband was at class, otherwise I'm sure he'd have given me a strange look to come down stairs and find me without pants sitting on a garbage bag (to catch castor oil) with a pack sitting on my stomach! I also started taking my evening primrose and red raspberry leaf tea again. I never do when I even think I may have ovulated because I want to avoid uterine contractions.

I also got an early Christmas present. A nutribullet!! I've been juicing for the past few months, but my motor was shot and it's been tough to schedule with my friend juicing, so I researched different options and decided on the nutribullet because I think drinking the fiber is important too. So, I've been downing my organic veggies for easy absorption the past few days. Nice thing is, my family is hooked too, so it's a good way to get a variety of vitamins and minerals down the hatch. I know proper eating is essential to fertility!!

I've also been listening to Nerida Walker a lot. I play her in the background while I work to center myself when I need to. I think her ministry is amazing!

Off topic, I've continued making my homemade items and I'm falling in love with all of them. My sister-in-law has been doing the same. We've tossed around the idea of starting to sell some small scale to see how people like them. Who knew all these health problems would open so many doors, right? She has three kids and we're both adamant we give our kids the best outlook at a healthy future. I don't want my child to ever suffer health problems from exposure to toxins like I have. I know they come into contact with thousands a day, so if I can do a small part to limit that, you can be assured I will!

God Bless!