Feb. 21, 2015
Today WAS a brighter day. I really was struggling. I'm in better spirits now and we've a lot to catch up on!
I'll chat about today and then backtrack. Today was my TCM appointment. My female doctor was in China visiting her mom. A bit off topic, but she went back to China to tell her mom that her dad had passed while here in the US. Obviously, there is a generational and cultural gap because I know for a fact my mom would have some choice words for me if I didn't mention her husband had passed away several months previous. For them, this was the best decision, and I can imagine this has been a very difficult and emotional trip for her.
Back on topic, her husband, my other doctor treated me today. He took my pulse per usual and said it was pretty good. In his words, that means good. He's usually more of the pessimist of the two ;) I'd called him yesterday wanting to know if I should come because I believe I ovulated. I always have that nagging fear that IF I did ovulate and an egg was fertilized I don't want to disrupt the flow down there for implantation and the babe to grow. He assured me it was best to come in.
When I got there today, I asked specifics. I know when my friend got IVF, they said no acupuncture after transfer. He told me that her and I were completely different cases. That ONCE I got an official positive they would discontinue acupuncture, but for now, they were signalling my body to "catch" the egg. He told me the no-no spots that would cause miscarriage (in between your thumb and forefinger, and on your shoulder between your neck and shoulder bone.)
As he started doing the acupuncture, I noticed a different touch. She basically taps it in. He, especially on my head was very heavy handed. It didn't hurt necessarily, but it felt much deeper. I asked about specific spots today since he is fluent in English. The spots of my thumb and ring finger are to catch pregnancy and should be switched every week. If the left thumb and right ring finger are done, you swap it the following session. The spots on my head were for Qi. These were the ones he really skewered in there, and later told me is his specialty. The head is his forte. He told me a man was in there last week and he'd put a needle 3" in to assist in restoring his hearing. Say what?? <--- get it. (ah haha, attempt at pathetic humor numero uno)
He did different spots than she normally does. Some were the same, but I noticed fewer spots on my abdomen and more on my legs. He did needles all the way down between my knee and heel on my calf and did an additional on my foot. Interestingly enough, I'd just messaged a friend that did DE IVF last night asking about her needle placement after transfer and she had specifically mentioned those areas.
As he was about to leave he asked about herbs and I said I had a bit of a head cold and should I not take them this week. He said, I should take them, but he'd adjust the mix to help my sinuses. He asked if there was anything else he should know and I mentioned my back was really hurting. I don't know if I need an adjustment, pulled a muscle, slept funny (we did drive to AZ and back, the back was 9 hrs, maybe I tweaked it) or what, but last night I could not fall asleep at all I was in such discomfort.
He said. "Back pain?" Came over, lifted my pant leg. Swabbed a point with alcohol and jabbed a needle REALLY far into my thigh. "All better." Ok...we shall see. I was rather skeptical of that one because it was just ONE needle and it still hurt.
About 45 minutes later he returned. My back still hurt a bit and I thought "Hmph, guess that didn't work." Bummer! BUT, as I was coming home, I noticed it hurt less. When I got home, I bent down to touch my toes and no pain left. UNREAL!! That little jab did the trick. I was amazed!
As he was pulling the needles out of my head, out of curiosity I asked him how far he'd put them in. Ya know, thinking a few millimeters...he showed me...about an inch! An inch!! Maybe just shy and my disbelief stretched it to an inch, but just about all the way up the pokey part of the needle. Where it went, I do now know. I mean, I've a skull in there. The only think I can think is that it goes in almost perpendicular and stretches beneath the surface? No clue. I need to get someone to take a picture. He did say the head was his specialty and all.
I had a chance to chat with him more in depth about his specialty and his wife's. She apparently really excels with herbs and his forte is acupuncture. They are both good at both, but those are really where their strengths lie. I got to ask him more about his life and he explained how he taught meditation (this I knew) but he went years without sleeping. He'd sit and meditate for six hours a night. I asked if that was healthy and he said if you do it deeply, it's more restful than sleep. He also told me about his days as a Kung Fu master and I'd the great pleasure of watching him do the praying mantis pose (with about 40 needles sticking in me of course!)
I head back there in two weeks for another acupuncture session and a refill on herbs. I'm only doing those every other day, but my body still seems to be progressing. I suppose that is good that my body is starting to work on it's own.
I'll backtrack to a few nights ago. I've talked a bit before about essential oils and how I'd like to learn more. A friend text me last minute she was going to an informal gathering for essential oils and would I like to go. It was a pizookie party (think of a huge gooey chocolate chip cooked in a mini pizza pan topped with ice cream.) Kind of hard to turn down ;)
While I was there, I started chatting with the woman about infertility. I was amazed at how much she knew about the mechanics of it and various fertility issues. She didn't know POF off hand, but was well schooled in how to treat differently for someone who is ovulating and how to encourage hormone production TO ovulate for someone who isn't. It actually isn't a bad deal to do the starter kit...11 oils, an atomizer and a few promotional goodies / extras for $150. Considering one oil is usually like $25, not bad at all. I'm waiting for my friend to get her referral line in place so she gets the moola.
They also had a Zyto machine. A what? It's basically a bio-feedback machine that is hooked to your laptop. It's a giant mouse that has metal strips along your palm and fingers and it shoots electrical impulses into your body. Where you are deficient is compiled in the end. I do believe in Bio-Feedback, but I don't know enough about this machine or brand to know if it's legit. I was bracing myself for hormones awry, but surprisingly, they weren't.
The woman taking it was a bit surprised. She said most people are really out of whack with at least 40 "points" out of the area they should be. I had 31 so I was pretty well balanced. Huh? Well, good if that's true. The read out had recommended four oils. I can only remember three. One was for my heart (which I think is perfectly healthy. My blood pressure is 92/62 which I just had checked last weekend at a health fair with my mother in law and my cholesterol is great.) She said it could also be heartbreak. I'm not broken, but I've had my fair share of a heavy heart throughout this whole process. Hm. Could be true.
The second was my kidney/bladder/liver was off. Interestingly enough, that is what the TCM treat me for. The kidney channel is tied to the reproductive channel in Chinese Medicine and the liver is where you store emotional baggage and stress.
The third oil was for my "inner child." She said something emotionally scarring may have happened in childhood that made me grow up and disconnect from those raw emotions. I can't say I'm scarred from anything, but I've always been a bit of an old soul / caretaker I suppose. She said it could have been later in life too. I guess this oil is used a lot for soldiers with PTSD.
Anyway, there is a recap of my eventful week or two. Emotionally, I feel better. I still struggle which I think is normal for everyone, but I've renewed faith. Physically, I feel good. No nasty symptoms. My sleep which was really rocky for a while has started to plateau again. I think I ovulated. My temps got really low with fertile signs and then shot up. I will admit I didn't temp today because my son woke at 4 am. My cervix however still feels soft, high and open so I won't be shocked if they drop again and my body tries to reboot. I do have a feeling though that my ovaries kicked one out.
And, full disclosure, I did take a pregnancy test today. It'd be way to early to tell if I had ovulated if I was pregnant, but since I was on day CD34, I always test to be sure before an acupuncture session. It was a faint positive again, which kind of made me sad thinking my hormones could be getting wacky for a bit, but my body has a way of rebounding more quickly now.
On a quick side note, I've talked before about being a member of a few online support groups. It seems a bit surreal to find such friends and comfort online when you've never met, but I've resolved myself that that is what it is today. If I hadn't found those groups, I would not know another soul with my condition or learn how they've dealt with it from a medical stand point, emotional stand point, or a practical stand point. In these groups, I always feel a bit lost at times because I DO have a child. A lot of these women do not. I have to sensor myself a bit. I'm thrilled to announce now that there is a support group for MOMMIES WITH POF/POI.
It's nice to be able to talk openly about the heartache of wanting another child to complete your family or a brother or sister for your little one without being hushed quickly by "at least you have one. Quit complaining." Every time I saw someone shushed by those words in the group I was in I had a heavy heart. I understand that viewpoint, but it also is hurtful to the person you are saying it to. Minimizing another person's pain or grief just plain hurts. So, if you are a mommy with POF, please find us on Facebook.
It is a closed group which means you have to request to join. No one will see what you write, however if you publicize your groups, people can see you are in it. If you want to join privately, hover your mouse over the upper right of the group section on your Facebook homepage. Click "hide" or make it just so you can see it. It's a small, wonderful group of supportive mommies. Some have had babies through DE IVF, others EA, some naturally and some adopted. Please be respectful of everyone's privacy.
There are also support groups for POF and POI in general on Facebook here and here. If you want to learn more about DE (donor egg) IVF with POF or POI or EA (embryo adoption) with POF or POI, you can request to join that private group (you cannot search it) through one of the above groups.
Today we are on our way to celebrate the first birthday of our friends baby. They struggled 11 years (!!) with infertility. Numerous IUI's and two failed IVF's only to get pregnant on their own with no intervention. (I will tell you they did an all organic fertility juice cleanse and got pregnant two weeks later...) It just goes to show though, never give up hope. Your miracle could be just around the corner!
Well, as always, God be with you and comforting you through this journey.
Today WAS a brighter day. I really was struggling. I'm in better spirits now and we've a lot to catch up on!
I'll chat about today and then backtrack. Today was my TCM appointment. My female doctor was in China visiting her mom. A bit off topic, but she went back to China to tell her mom that her dad had passed while here in the US. Obviously, there is a generational and cultural gap because I know for a fact my mom would have some choice words for me if I didn't mention her husband had passed away several months previous. For them, this was the best decision, and I can imagine this has been a very difficult and emotional trip for her.
Back on topic, her husband, my other doctor treated me today. He took my pulse per usual and said it was pretty good. In his words, that means good. He's usually more of the pessimist of the two ;) I'd called him yesterday wanting to know if I should come because I believe I ovulated. I always have that nagging fear that IF I did ovulate and an egg was fertilized I don't want to disrupt the flow down there for implantation and the babe to grow. He assured me it was best to come in.
When I got there today, I asked specifics. I know when my friend got IVF, they said no acupuncture after transfer. He told me that her and I were completely different cases. That ONCE I got an official positive they would discontinue acupuncture, but for now, they were signalling my body to "catch" the egg. He told me the no-no spots that would cause miscarriage (in between your thumb and forefinger, and on your shoulder between your neck and shoulder bone.)
As he started doing the acupuncture, I noticed a different touch. She basically taps it in. He, especially on my head was very heavy handed. It didn't hurt necessarily, but it felt much deeper. I asked about specific spots today since he is fluent in English. The spots of my thumb and ring finger are to catch pregnancy and should be switched every week. If the left thumb and right ring finger are done, you swap it the following session. The spots on my head were for Qi. These were the ones he really skewered in there, and later told me is his specialty. The head is his forte. He told me a man was in there last week and he'd put a needle 3" in to assist in restoring his hearing. Say what?? <--- get it. (ah haha, attempt at pathetic humor numero uno)
He did different spots than she normally does. Some were the same, but I noticed fewer spots on my abdomen and more on my legs. He did needles all the way down between my knee and heel on my calf and did an additional on my foot. Interestingly enough, I'd just messaged a friend that did DE IVF last night asking about her needle placement after transfer and she had specifically mentioned those areas.
As he was about to leave he asked about herbs and I said I had a bit of a head cold and should I not take them this week. He said, I should take them, but he'd adjust the mix to help my sinuses. He asked if there was anything else he should know and I mentioned my back was really hurting. I don't know if I need an adjustment, pulled a muscle, slept funny (we did drive to AZ and back, the back was 9 hrs, maybe I tweaked it) or what, but last night I could not fall asleep at all I was in such discomfort.
He said. "Back pain?" Came over, lifted my pant leg. Swabbed a point with alcohol and jabbed a needle REALLY far into my thigh. "All better." Ok...we shall see. I was rather skeptical of that one because it was just ONE needle and it still hurt.
About 45 minutes later he returned. My back still hurt a bit and I thought "Hmph, guess that didn't work." Bummer! BUT, as I was coming home, I noticed it hurt less. When I got home, I bent down to touch my toes and no pain left. UNREAL!! That little jab did the trick. I was amazed!
As he was pulling the needles out of my head, out of curiosity I asked him how far he'd put them in. Ya know, thinking a few millimeters...he showed me...about an inch! An inch!! Maybe just shy and my disbelief stretched it to an inch, but just about all the way up the pokey part of the needle. Where it went, I do now know. I mean, I've a skull in there. The only think I can think is that it goes in almost perpendicular and stretches beneath the surface? No clue. I need to get someone to take a picture. He did say the head was his specialty and all.
I had a chance to chat with him more in depth about his specialty and his wife's. She apparently really excels with herbs and his forte is acupuncture. They are both good at both, but those are really where their strengths lie. I got to ask him more about his life and he explained how he taught meditation (this I knew) but he went years without sleeping. He'd sit and meditate for six hours a night. I asked if that was healthy and he said if you do it deeply, it's more restful than sleep. He also told me about his days as a Kung Fu master and I'd the great pleasure of watching him do the praying mantis pose (with about 40 needles sticking in me of course!)
I head back there in two weeks for another acupuncture session and a refill on herbs. I'm only doing those every other day, but my body still seems to be progressing. I suppose that is good that my body is starting to work on it's own.
I'll backtrack to a few nights ago. I've talked a bit before about essential oils and how I'd like to learn more. A friend text me last minute she was going to an informal gathering for essential oils and would I like to go. It was a pizookie party (think of a huge gooey chocolate chip cooked in a mini pizza pan topped with ice cream.) Kind of hard to turn down ;)
While I was there, I started chatting with the woman about infertility. I was amazed at how much she knew about the mechanics of it and various fertility issues. She didn't know POF off hand, but was well schooled in how to treat differently for someone who is ovulating and how to encourage hormone production TO ovulate for someone who isn't. It actually isn't a bad deal to do the starter kit...11 oils, an atomizer and a few promotional goodies / extras for $150. Considering one oil is usually like $25, not bad at all. I'm waiting for my friend to get her referral line in place so she gets the moola.
They also had a Zyto machine. A what? It's basically a bio-feedback machine that is hooked to your laptop. It's a giant mouse that has metal strips along your palm and fingers and it shoots electrical impulses into your body. Where you are deficient is compiled in the end. I do believe in Bio-Feedback, but I don't know enough about this machine or brand to know if it's legit. I was bracing myself for hormones awry, but surprisingly, they weren't.
The woman taking it was a bit surprised. She said most people are really out of whack with at least 40 "points" out of the area they should be. I had 31 so I was pretty well balanced. Huh? Well, good if that's true. The read out had recommended four oils. I can only remember three. One was for my heart (which I think is perfectly healthy. My blood pressure is 92/62 which I just had checked last weekend at a health fair with my mother in law and my cholesterol is great.) She said it could also be heartbreak. I'm not broken, but I've had my fair share of a heavy heart throughout this whole process. Hm. Could be true.
The second was my kidney/bladder/liver was off. Interestingly enough, that is what the TCM treat me for. The kidney channel is tied to the reproductive channel in Chinese Medicine and the liver is where you store emotional baggage and stress.
The third oil was for my "inner child." She said something emotionally scarring may have happened in childhood that made me grow up and disconnect from those raw emotions. I can't say I'm scarred from anything, but I've always been a bit of an old soul / caretaker I suppose. She said it could have been later in life too. I guess this oil is used a lot for soldiers with PTSD.
Anyway, there is a recap of my eventful week or two. Emotionally, I feel better. I still struggle which I think is normal for everyone, but I've renewed faith. Physically, I feel good. No nasty symptoms. My sleep which was really rocky for a while has started to plateau again. I think I ovulated. My temps got really low with fertile signs and then shot up. I will admit I didn't temp today because my son woke at 4 am. My cervix however still feels soft, high and open so I won't be shocked if they drop again and my body tries to reboot. I do have a feeling though that my ovaries kicked one out.
And, full disclosure, I did take a pregnancy test today. It'd be way to early to tell if I had ovulated if I was pregnant, but since I was on day CD34, I always test to be sure before an acupuncture session. It was a faint positive again, which kind of made me sad thinking my hormones could be getting wacky for a bit, but my body has a way of rebounding more quickly now.
On a quick side note, I've talked before about being a member of a few online support groups. It seems a bit surreal to find such friends and comfort online when you've never met, but I've resolved myself that that is what it is today. If I hadn't found those groups, I would not know another soul with my condition or learn how they've dealt with it from a medical stand point, emotional stand point, or a practical stand point. In these groups, I always feel a bit lost at times because I DO have a child. A lot of these women do not. I have to sensor myself a bit. I'm thrilled to announce now that there is a support group for MOMMIES WITH POF/POI.
It's nice to be able to talk openly about the heartache of wanting another child to complete your family or a brother or sister for your little one without being hushed quickly by "at least you have one. Quit complaining." Every time I saw someone shushed by those words in the group I was in I had a heavy heart. I understand that viewpoint, but it also is hurtful to the person you are saying it to. Minimizing another person's pain or grief just plain hurts. So, if you are a mommy with POF, please find us on Facebook.
It is a closed group which means you have to request to join. No one will see what you write, however if you publicize your groups, people can see you are in it. If you want to join privately, hover your mouse over the upper right of the group section on your Facebook homepage. Click "hide" or make it just so you can see it. It's a small, wonderful group of supportive mommies. Some have had babies through DE IVF, others EA, some naturally and some adopted. Please be respectful of everyone's privacy.
There are also support groups for POF and POI in general on Facebook here and here. If you want to learn more about DE (donor egg) IVF with POF or POI or EA (embryo adoption) with POF or POI, you can request to join that private group (you cannot search it) through one of the above groups.
Today we are on our way to celebrate the first birthday of our friends baby. They struggled 11 years (!!) with infertility. Numerous IUI's and two failed IVF's only to get pregnant on their own with no intervention. (I will tell you they did an all organic fertility juice cleanse and got pregnant two weeks later...) It just goes to show though, never give up hope. Your miracle could be just around the corner!
Well, as always, God be with you and comforting you through this journey.
