POF, Ovulating and Periods

Dec. 17, 2014

Turns out, I did ovulate, and ovulated in a big way! Yesterday I started a proper period, as in, adequate flow, right color, semi normal time frame of 35 days! My chart is a bit spotty in that I don't know if I had a short LP (luteal phase) of 6-7 days or a long one of over 18. My guess is the shorter, but I have a pretty heavy bleed for such a short one. Either way, drastic improvement from my last 164 day cycle with several weeks of brown spotting. No spotting here. I got a swipe of pink the night before right before bed and woke to a bright stream.

Initially, I was falling into my depressed state, but I snapped out of it quickly. In order to get pregnant, I need my body to normalize. A regular length cycle with the proper temperature shifts, symptoms and blood flow is an excellent indication that is exactly what is happening.

I will admit (thank you God) that I do think it is my complete release to faith that has made the largest difference. I prayed about what I could physically do, and I've done it. So non-believers can choose to think those are the catalyst, but it came from some deep soul searching and prayer.

I did my castor oil packs until the first time I thought I ovulated, as well as my pelvic fertility massage, soaking my feet a couple nights in hot water and my fertility yoga, although not as often as I should have.

The rest was the same in terms of care except the cycle before this midway I had added maca and vitex back in the mix. I think that does a lot of self regulating and I'm convinced it played a large part in my cycle stabilizing. I'm definitely continuing with that.

I usually make maca balls because even the smell of maca makes me want to vomit. The taste is just horrendous. Here is the recipe I use.

Maca Truffles

When I travel at Christmas, I found some organic maca pills. I won't continue that because the price works out to be more than the homemade truffles, but click the link in case the ease of it is better than making maca truffles.

Now, I measured out how much maca is in the truffles. Based on the 1/2 cup serving and the amount I make, it equals out to be about 1 tsp per truffle so roughly 3000 mg. The pills are 500 mg. People suggest starting with small doses. Maca is an energizer, so if you take them, take them early in the day. Like Ubiquinol or CoQ10, it can keep you up at night, especially if you already are predisposed to insomnia from POF.

I'll head back to acupuncture on Saturday. I think they will be pleased with my news. I know they'd mentioned last time my pulses keep getting better and better and they anticipated I'd get my period this week. Then, it's off for a vacation with family, so I'll skip the following week of acupuncture.

I debated contacting my doctor again to get a true CD3 reading tomorrow, because my last one was actually immediately before ovulation. My FSH was in the 40s, 48 I believe which is still POF range, but if it was midcycle (which it was) it no longer is. In fact, below 40s in no longer considered POF, but POI which is Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. With POI, RE's and fertility specialists will actually work with you. We don't have insurance coverage for that, but it's good to know.

I opted not to contact her. I think she'd hassle me a bit for having my levels checked so soon and I don't want to get into the whole reason why I think it was where it was because my doctors seem to just get frustrated with my researching or asking questions. As much as she was more considerate than the last I met with, my overall impression is doctors just want to diagnosis me and move on and would rather I just accept the diagnosis and not question them.

I know I'm healing. I know my cycle is normalizing and honestly, having the number isn't going to change anything. I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. I can ask her again in six months, but I rather that visit be a prenatal one anyway ;)

I've already decided my thermometer is staying here when we leave for Christmas vacation. I'll resume temping when I get home. It may throw me a curve ball, but I'm starting to get a handle on the ranges my temps should be before O and after. I just don't want to worry about temping with time changes, later and earlier rising, etc. I just want to enjoy the time with my family.

Yesterday was an amazing day. We took our son to Disneyland for his birthday/Christmas. It was my husband and my first time as well. It was an amazing day. He LOVED it! He loves Mickey and was so thrilled to see his Clubhouse gang. I dare say he has a crush in Minnie. He loved giving all the characters "high bie" aka high five. He was particularly taken with "Plupu" aka Pluto.

It's times like those I just repeat over and over "thank you thank you thank you" for all the blessings I have. I am so grateful for my life and my family. I know our family will be growing soon.

God bless!

About to Enter Phase Three

May 10, 2014

Well, good news. I'm "normal." My pulse is within the range of a normal, ovulating and menstruating, healthy woman.

My doctor was back from China, a bit jet lagged as she got home last night, but delved right in. I had printed off my two charts for her so she began analyzing them while she took my pulse. My first chart (remember, I was cut off when I hit 180 days so I had to start a new one, and even that one was over 60 days) showed the 5 day LP. My second chart, looked actually quite a bit more promising showing a good thermal shift and showed the 8 day LP. So, really, I guess I've only had one "true" cycle to base things off of, but we analyzed them both because we are really looking at the LP right now.

She said my cycles were too short, which I was already aware of, but did agree the three additional day LP was a step in the right direction. The "first" cycle I also only menstruated for two days. This cycle I'm on day three. All very light bleeding, but that is also a step in the right direction.

She started writing with a fury on my chart. She took note of the severe abdominal and back cramping and went through various other symptoms, the color of the blood, the amount, if there were clots, etc. Red. Light. No clots.

I asked about egg health and she said that is one of the goals now. To improve egg health and lengthen my cycles. She told me to begin taking the royal jelly, but only one capsule, once a day. She doesn't like many supplements (ironic because of all that I am on) but said to take the minimum dose as it should help my eggs.

I counted 29 herbs in this concoction. I have yet to drink it. I will tonight, but when I smelled it, it was sweeter. It didn't have an overly bitter smell to it like some past mixtures have.

She discussed with me their plan for phase three. Phase one was acupuncture while I was in the process of weaning my son. Phase two was the herbs to regulate my hormones and nourish my blood and organs. Phase three will begin most likely after this cycle with the hopes it will extend a bit. Phase three will be a two part acupuncture cycle. The first part will be a "wake up" call to my reproductive organs and uterus. The second part will prepare me for pregnancy and to carry a baby.

How it all works, I'm not quite sure, but I usually go armed with questions so hopefully I will get some answers. My mom, also brought up a point about my previous pregnancy to discuss with them. I had a very healthy pregnancy, but around 36 1/2 weeks I had to go to the hospital for possibly induction because I had low amniotic fluid. With minimal bed rest, a huge intake of water, and daily, then every other day NST (neonatal stress test) and AF (amniotic fluid) tests I was cleared until almost 41 weeks. My doctor had told me because of the low fluid at 41 weeks she would induce me and at 40 1/2 weeks my amniotic fluid dropped to dangerous levels. I was sent to the hospital and immediately induced. 

It was a miserable and painful labor. I'd sworn I'd go natural with no meds but after over 25 hrs, the nurse ran in to stop pitocin because I was just having one LOOOOOONG contraction with no breaks and they feared my uterus would rupture. I gave in and got an epidural when talk of a possible C-section was brought up. That is a story for another day.

I wonder if they could better prepare my body in some way to avoid that the next go round? I'll ask. If not, if there is any talk of an induction for a future pregnancy, I'll me giving them a holler to possibly stimulate my body through acupuncture to get labor in motion naturally. No more of those synthetic drugs!

Anyway, I digress. I feel pretty happy. This cycle, we hope will elongate. The herbs will continue to nourish and aid my hormones to their appropriate levels. It will also help my egg health. As discussed previously, egg health is really determined the last three months it's growing before it's released from a follicle. I've already been helping it along with the herbs and the supplements I'm taking, but this will step it up a notch.

I'll keep you posted how this cycle goes and when acupuncture begins. I feel so calm right now. Instead of hoping for a positive pregnancy test this month, I've completely allowed myself to let go and let God heal me. The positive will come, and come soon, when the time is right. I can only prepare the field and trust.

Overall, I'm feeling very optimistic. My body is responding well to treatment. And, the beautiful thing is, the "treatment" is not interfering with my own body's hormones. It is gently assisting them by making me healthy. Isn't that cool? Our bodies are miraculous!

God bless!

Intro

Where to begin… I suppose a brief intro and overview is in order. I'm post dating this to Jan. 1, 2014, so the order of my blog posts (which I had been writing privately as a POF diary for myself initially saved to my computer) are in the correct order. For your record, it is April 24. It took me over three months to process this diagnosis and be in a positive place sharing my story. So, don't beat yourself up if you need time. I also have not shared with anyone outside my immediate family circle aside from three close friends. It's still a bit too raw and I don't want any negativity, backlash or questioning of my motives or decision for treatment from anyone, especially those that are close. I'll let you know when I am able to make that personal and public announcement outside my own blogosphere so you can share in that "journey" too. 

My name is Emily and I am blessed by one incredible son and an awesome husband. My journey with secondary infertility began at the start of this year. Or, shall I say, my knowledge of my infertility slapped me in the face. Happy New Year to you too!

My son was born November 22, 2012. He was our Turkey Baby born at 11:12 pm, just in time for me to shovel in some pie after snacking on ice chips all day long. We had no trouble conceiving him at all. Married May 2011, ditched the birth control and started trying in November and after a wonky cycle or two of my body not relying on birth control to man the ship for 14 years and regulate it's cycles, conceived on our third cycle. We got our BFP, big fat positive, on the test March 9^th, 2013. So, this baby making stuff is easy! Right?!

Gulp.

After having my son, I was just convinced that my period hadn’t returned since I was breast feeding. He was a horrible sleeper and nursed constantly through the night, so the constant nipple stimulation was keeping it at bay. Or, so I thought. My hubby and I started trying in September for a baby thinking maybe we’d just “catch that first egg.” And, we thought we had.

When we got back from our Christmas vacation, I thought before taking a sip of New Year champagne, why not take a test to make sure. And it was positive! And so were eight others over the next few days, but they never darkened and finally disappeared. I was heartbroken thinking I’d had a chemical pregnancy, or early miscarriage. But, I never bled.

After going back and forth a dozen times with an incompetent midwife who assured me my test was wrong (Hello lady, I took NINE!!) and my period would come when it normally does despite my trying to explain I hadn’t had a post partum period yet so I wouldn't even know when that would be, I finally contacted another doctor. She ran an HCG test and my level was 5. Less than 4 is not pregnant. 5 is typically borderline pregnant. She told me most likely it was a CP and I’d start to bleed anytime. I didn’t.

When no period came, they started to take me a bit more seriously. She referred me to another doctor in the OBGYN department. The doctor I met with, who I shall refer to as “Jack Knob” because my other references to him aren’t PG enough for your web browsing eyes to see, came in and with no emotion took a gander at my ovaries in an ultra sound, which he said looked fine. He told me my endometrial lining was 2 mm so wouldn’t sustain the pregnancy if there was indeed a pregnancy. He assured me he’d run some tests and let me know what they said. He promised he’d call to discuss the outcome.

Well, my test did come back. My HCG level was 7 (four days later) so it was going up, but not at the rate of a viable pregnancy. And, that is just what he told me. He put it in some fancy doctor lingo in an email that took me to google to translate, but basically said the high LH as well as slightly elevated HCG in my blood had been giving me the false positives on the pregnancy tests.

I, however, saw my FSH and LH levels and about fell out of my chair. My FSH was 111.8 and my LH was 65.3. FSH in a normal, healthy woman should be UNDER 12!! 12!! Mine was 100 higher. LH levels ebb and flow. It’s the hormone that tells your egg to pop out, and that was a high number, but the two high together meant bad news. I’d gone to Google and boy, oh boy, was that a mistake. Either Premature Ovarian Failure, aka, you are done, no babies for you, or a Pituitary Tumor, aka brain tumor. Well, Happy Flippin’ New Year.

When this moron didn’t make the connection, I emailed him back saying I was alarmed by those two high numbers, much more than the HCG.  I asked to have further testing to rule out a brain tumor. He EMAILED me saying it was most likely ovarian failure and he’d repeat the tests in four weeks. Um, four weeks?? Yeah, right. I asked him to please run a prolactin test and estrogen test for me. He called and callously told me it was probably POF. When I asked what treatment there was, he said “None. Your ovaries don’t work anymore.” My response, sobbing like a baby.

My estrogen levels came back undetectable and my prolactin showed a slight elevation most likely from breastfeeding. I sought another opinion.

This time, I meant with a very frank, but nice and thorough doctor. She went through my chart with me and took a lot of information to consult with an infertility specialist friend of hers. Infertility isn’t covered by my health plan. She also did a u/s and said my lining was paper thin.

The lab results this time, absolutely devastated me. 

HCG 7

FSH  136.5

LH 98.8

AMH <.03

I was basically told I was a 100+ year old post menopausal woman. My options were egg donor or adoption. Through tears, I asked what my options were and she said birth control pills to regulate hormones. Trying to keep it together I explained that I’d researched POF and there were rare people who ovulated. Birth control would take away that possibility. She told me, sometimes women with POF do squirt out an egg here or there and maybe “God would throw me a bone.” Oddly enough, I know she meant that as my chances were nil, but I found it reassuring. Yes, he would!

My AMH levels basically said I had no eggs and no follicles left. Hmph. Since then, I’ve done a lot of research, and this isn’t exactly true. Yes, there are no follicles in the beginning stages growing, but that really doesn’t have anything to do with how many eggs you have left or their quality. The doctors assume you don’t because none are growing, but in theory, if you are under duress, your ovaries, non essential organs, are one of the first to shut down. Given my lack of sleep and high stress, it’s conceivable, that’s exactly what they did.

In my fervent research of the disease I learned that over the course of 10 years, there is a 5%-10% chance a woman can spontaneously get pregnant with POF. Yes, my numbers were way, way higher than most POF women so my chances were slimmer, but there was one. My own rational was, my doctor immediately wanted to prescribe birth control. How many women with POF follow that directive and take it? So, they are automatically removing themselves from the pool for spontaneous pregnancy. Further more, how many make fertility minded changes in their life with diet? Exercise? And, as I researched further (I'll get to that) with acupuncture, chiropractic care and herbs and supplements? How many of these women that just spontaneously got pregnant were actually trying to better their odds? If 5-10% of all women, most of whom aren't actively trying or preparing their bodies can get pregnant, my odds were looking a lot better. Because, I was doing it all!

I had her refer me to an RE who refused to see me because I didn’t have infertility insurance. When I pressed the issue saying I was at increased odds for osteoporosis, heart disease, stroke and cancer without the correct hormones in my body they woman relented a bit on the phone and admitted that yes, my “infertility” put me at severe health risk. She then gently told me, pushing for a visit was a waste of money because they would tell me my situation was helpless. She gave me the adoption or donor egg speech. The third doctor to tell me this. Sigh.

I did more research and learned about HRT, hormone replacement therapy, but I didn’t like the idea of a lifetime of pumping pharmaceuticals into my body. And then, I came across some blogs and articles about alternative, holistic approaches. The more I read, the more I was intrigued.  

Western and Eastern medicines approached reproductive issues, POF especially very differently. Western medicine, as brilliant as it is, treats the symptoms and tries to prevent future complications like osteoporosis. Eastern medicine treats the overall body and tries to correct overall health which in turn will gently prod your body into doing what it should be doing.

The first few weeks after my diagnosis, I was barely functional. I was listless and downright pissed. Yes, I was blessed with an amazing little boy, but I’d always dreamed of a big family. I had dreams for him to grow up with a brother or sister. I grew up with many and couldn’t imagine not. My husband was very supportive, but it wasn’t until the last test that the gravity of what happened sunk in. I thought he didn’t care, but in reality, he hadn’t believed it until then.

I decided to open up to my mom, and three close friends, one of whom was dealing with infertility herself. Her and I had a heart to heart and she told me about an acupuncturist / herbalist she went to. I made an appointment to join her on her next visit. They told me I was basically depleted. My pulse was extremely weak and I had depression of the liver. The liver channel isn’t the “liver” but I had a lot of anger, resentment, stress and negative emotion built up in my body blocking my hormonal flow. They told me I was extremely unhealthy and weak. They suggested I stop breastfeeding first and foremost because I was literally giving all my energy and nutrients to my baby. This was an emotional struggle. One, I will deal with in future blogs. Second, they told me to limit my stress and immediately. Third, they told me they needed to tell my ovaries to ‘wake up’ and started acupuncture that day. Once I weaned, they would give me herbs to nourish my body.

I also started seeing a chiropractor because a healthy alignment is important to your nervous and endocrine system, which is really what fires the messages for your body to produce and release hormones. After my initial consult, my spine was really out of whack. Most likely from stress, exhaustion and, his words, basically motherhood destroys the body. The nursing, crouching, cuddling, lugging kids and diaper bags and car seats around...all takes a toll.

My husband and I decided to turn our path to God. We've always had faith, but this problem was far to great for us to even think of handling on our own.

We also decided to reevaluate and take stock. My body was exhausted and weak. My son, now 13 months had yet to sleep through the night. The three months leading up to my diagnosis, I rarely slept more than 2-3 hrs a night, never more than an hour or two at a time. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was trying to work as close to full time as possible during all his naps and at night in addition to the two full work days I had while he was in daycare. We were struggling financially and my husband had been working sporadic part time jobs for the last three months of the year. I was at my breaking point, and my body just gave out.

We decided I needed to limit stress. God answered our prayers by assisting with my sons sleeping. He’s now a champ and sleeps all through the night and for lengthier naps. My husband, thankfully, got a job in town. He used to travel so when he was working, I single parented it at home. His job meant he was here to help, and a consistent income.

I began reading about all the things that affect your fertility. Diet. Toxins. The list seemed endless but I decided to make some big changes…