Perhaps the big "O"

Dec. 13, 2014

Still in limbo here, but that shouldn't be shocking ;)

My chart is actually pretty interesting. I had a temp hike which came down for seven days (the open circle, I temped late) and shot back up. The first hike was during a cold, which is what I am attributing it to. Right now, no cold, so perhaps I did ovulate. Take a peek.

I was back to acupuncture today. My TCM seemed pleased with my progress. I did talk to them a bit about my treatment in regards to financials. Like so many others, we're hurting. Without going into boring detail, every where we turn, it's hitting us hard. Realistically, I cannot continue treatment the same way and put food on the table. 

On the flip side, I feel it's important that I do take care of myself physically. Yes, it costs money, but left untreated, this disease could potentially kill me either directly or indirectly. I feel like I've healed so much and come so far, and I do not feel like this is permanent. I think it was a reflection of my life at that time. Stress, toxins, exhaustion. All no bueno! I do feel like if I can get things operational again, I'll run like a well oiled machine ;)

I asked them if we could cut my herbs in half so I could trim my bill. After a long discussion in Chinese that left me looking from one to the other and back again, they told me they think the best course of action is to take a full dose, but do it every other day. They think it will be most potent in full, but dispersed like that, it should still be effective. They said what is most important is that I continue the acupuncture which has served me greatest. My pulse is always dramatically better after. Her words were "better and better."

My session today was fine. It strikes me as funny what points are sensitive some days and others I barely feel at all. The needles near my hair line and on my feet today were sensitive. Going in, the needles on my reproductive organs weren't all that painful, but within minutes I started getting shooting cramps. I asked her if that was ok. "Cramps, yes. Pain, no." Since they were just cramps, I think it was the blood flow moving and energy shifting. All good.

I was a bit nervous going in because I didn't sleep well. My poor son came down with another cold and woke up several times last night. He always put himself back to sleep within minutes, but typically mommy that I am, I slept like crap listening to every cough, sniffle and movement from his direction. I'm praying my husband and I don't get this one. The last one was pretty nasty and with us traveling for Christmas, we want us all healthy.

I did read an interesting article that someone posted in a POF support group. As I turned to Google, I see it's being done more and more, but here you go...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-75473/How-ovaries-grow-arm.html

It talks about how a women's ovary was grafted into her arm. They put it near the muscle to get adequate blood flow, and this ovary cycles every month growing follicles. They remove the eggs for future IVF. Isn't it fascinating that given the correct blood flow these ovaries are working? In her arm?? It really made me think how much good acupuncture does for our reproductive organs. Acupuncture stimulates blood flow. 

For people that don't have that service readily available, there are things like Castor Oil Packs, fertility yoga, fertility massage, etc that can also get your blood flow moving to your reproductive organs. Ensuring you have a healthy diet is important because the junk we eat makes our system sluggish, and regularly exercising (stimulating blood flow) also help. If an ovary can work in your arm, or abdomen (as they are also doing) it can certainly work where God placed it given the right environment.

Monday, I'm back to the chiropractor. I had rescheduled my monthly appointment to six weeks so I'm hoping my body responds well to the session. Then, I've that tough talk with his as well regarding what I can afford. I want to try to push it to every 6-8 weeks. Cutting that expense in half will be easier to swallow, but still keep my body on track.

On a very sad note, a woman that I'm "friends" with in a Facebook support group lost her baby today at 41 weeks. I cannot even fathom that kind of devastation. To make it all through a pregnancy, be expecting to come home with your child any day, and have them find no heart beat at a scheduled appointment. It makes my stomach drop. And, to have to go through the labor and delivery... If you can spare some prayers for her and her family, I'd be most appreciative. 

Well, I should turn in for the night. We'll see how my temps look over the next week. I'm cautiously optimistic. As always, God Bless!

An athletic "Old" lady

Oct. 2, 2014

October already? How did this happen?

Well, I had my first dentist appointment since starting my own toothpaste regimen. And although I needed a minor filling along my gum line for over brushing (receded gum line that was exposing a nerve) he said my teeth looked excellent and very white. First time he'd actually said "very white." My gums were exceptionally healthy. I didn't have the heart to tell him I was making my own.

Side note - I read an interesting and scary article last night about how horrible some toothpastes and cleansers are to the environment. Check it out. I'm a Michigander, so very scary stuff.

http://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/2014/09/18/great-lakes-pollution-microbeads-soap/15817501/

Also at the dentist this morning, they checked my blood pressure. 98 over 53 which is standard for me, but if you look at the blood pressure chart, that is where an athlete is.

So, hormones of a 120 year old decrepit woman, vitals of a young athlete. Go figure.

I also want to show off my pedicure. I haven't painted my nails since January because of all the chemicals in nail polish, but my husband's friend is the owner of piggy paints and I love the idea. And really, who says adults can't use the stuff, right??

http://www.piggypaint.com/

or you can get it on Amazon

Other than that, still plodding along. I'm still reading that excellent book, It is Finished by Nerida Walker, taking my herbs and keeping up with my yoga and meditation. Before my appointment, I did take a HPT in case since I knew they were x-raying and the positive was fainter. The OPK was in your face and my other fertile signs are a go. We'll see what happens.

God Bless

TTC - One year Down

Sept. 26, 2014

Well, Sept. 23 was our one year TTC (Trying To Conceive) anniversary. It's been a wild ride this year. Lots of ups and downs. The downs are rather obvious, but the ups, well, here you go...

1. I've grown closer to my Lord and Savior. I've come to the conclusion that without Him I am powerless. I'm continuing to grow in his word and have Faith. And my Faith tells me I will be a mother of CHILDREN, not CHILD.

2. I do not take my family for granted. My husband and myself have been through the ringer. We've been challenged physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and psychologically, but we've not only survived, but grown stronger. I value every single second with my son. He is truly a miracle and has been God's greatest gift to our family. Being his mother is my greatest privilege in life.

3. I've learned a wealth of information about my body. From studying Eastern medicine, to aromatherapy, crystals, yoga, meditation, chiropractic care, massages, etc. I thought I'd learned so much our first time trying, but the minimum I learned about charting, cervical mucus and cervix position was the tip of the ice berg. With my diagnosis came a whole new world, or perception of the one I was living in. I've broadened my perspective and understanding on so many conventional things in our society. It's been enlightening and invigorating.

4. We've made huge life long changes in our family to reduce toxic exposure. We eat healthier, are physically active, have done away with any toxins we can do without. I feel positive and confident that we are setting good examples for our son, and setting him off on the right foot. I wish him lifelong happiness without physically or neurological ailments that could have been prevented.

5. I've met some (excuse my language) real KICK ASS LADIES!! From my own personal friend who has struggled beside me in TCM fertility, to ladies in mother's groups to ladies in forums and online support groups. Although we may not all see eye to eye on treatments or outlooks, it's so encouraging to have people to turn to. They constantly make me think, reflect and learn. The grit, determination, faith, strength and humor of the ladies struggling with fertility is unparalleled. I've also found comfort and support within the small group of family and friends that are aware of my diagnosis. Their prayers, support and encouragement are precious and appreciated.

6. I live for the moment. True, I get caught up at times in the what if's, but the truth of the matter is, I have the here and now. I trust I WILL be pregnant, but wasting precious moments now fretting over how soon that will come has worn me down in the past and it's not worth it. My baby will come soon, and while I can, I'm enjoying spending extra time with my ONE son now before he has a sibling. Extra time with my husband NOW before we've another child. Extra time pursuing my career, before I've another year off gaining my footing again.

7. I have learned to reject my diagnosis. Who needs it. I'm a strong, healthy woman who likes being a momma, and ya know what? I pretty damn good at it. I'm just looking to add to be brood. So there!

Life is good. So, instead of grieving it's been a year, I am celebrating every positive thing that has come out of all this. It sounds cliche, but what doesn't kill you DOES make you stronger.

Reducing Toxins

Sept. 21, 2014

Well, my pursuit to a healthy home and personal care environment continues. A few months back I posted I was making my own toothpaste and deodorant and love it. Did I mention, I love it?! I was always concerned it wouldn't work as well as store bought and it'd be time consuming to make, but the reality is it works way better than store bought (really!!) it takes me about 10 minutes total every 6-8 weeks to make BOTH batches and it costs pennies on the dollar compared to what I was spending, especially in comparison to the "healthier" brand options I was purchasing.

I can also give it a two thumbs up approval from both my husband (who I feared would be my worse critic) and my 22 month old son for the toothpaste. We tried the baby toothpastes and training toothpastes, but even the "natural" ones were basically sugar. I was skeptical coating his teeth in it, and it didn't do the trick. He, unfortunately, has a tendency to get staining at the gum line, so we had to resort to adult toothpaste once or twice a week and I hated him swallowing the fluoride and chemicals. On a whim, I suggested we try the homemade version thinking he'd hate it...and he didn't. He actually liked it and I have no guilt with him swallowing it. My husband, seeing he liked it, tried it himself and was shocked he liked it.

For skincare I've always used Origins, which I still stand by is a much healthier option than many on the market. It's a bit pricey and I know it isn't completely safe, so I thought I'd see what else is out there. There are options that come with huge price tags. Did I really want to spend $50 to "see" if one worked well?? So, I decided to just try coconut oil and see. I was nervous. Putting oil on my skin? Erm... Well, I did. And, no break outs. It absorbed easily and to be honest, my complexion looks great! Score!

It only takes a tiny, tiny bit, which I learned after night one. I still have a bulk of stock piled Origins from their fabulous sales which I still intend to use, but have decided that is my "travel" skincare. My trip this summer, reinforced the idea traveling with coconut oil is not a good idea. Reminder...it melts over 74 - 75 degrees. I had a DOP kit of coconut oil covered make up and products. Even in carry on, with the ziploc allowance, I'd be concerned of it heating and leaking.

My next feet was finding a lotion I could feel healthy about. My two choices I narrowed it down to were Honest and Earth Mama Baby Angel which were some of the safest on the EWG.org. However, they also came with the largest price tag. For my baby, I didn't mind spending it because he's a tiny guy and they lasted. For me...lots more coverage = lots more lotion.

I looked online and found some great recipes at Wellnessmama. The same place I found the deodorant and toothpaste. I had my shopping cart full of organic beeswax and organic shea butter and though, hm, well, coconut oil worked for my face. I wonder if it would for my body. Would it be too oil? Get on clothes? Furniture? Bedding?

I gave it a whirl. I little goes a long way, but that is all you need. It absorbed quickly and left no oil residue. It didn't get on anything. I just allowed it to soak in for a few minutes after I dried off after my shower. My skin feels soft and it's not dry. I should admit at this point, that I hadn't been using lotion for about six months now because I was creeped out by all the chemicals I was putting on, essentially, the largest organ of my body...my skin! As an added bonus, it does offer a wee bit of sun protection too. Not enough to do away with sunscreen, but a bit ;)

So, score there. No paying a hefty paycheck on lotion anymore. My jumbo size tub of organic coconut oil from Costco is well worth the money. If you don't have a membership you can get a decent price on Amazon.

I found a few ideas for face cleansers that I've yet to try. Some were oil cleaning (just using oil to clean your face) which I'm sure works great, but I've ingrained in my mind that foaming cleansers are what works. I have to stop thinking that way. Until I find something I love (I'm testing as I go) I still have my drawer of Origins that I'm relying on in the interim until it's delegated to travel cleansers.

The shampoo will be the interesting one. A lot of the recipes, since they are made out of ingredients, actually go bad if not used in the appropriate amount of time. I plan to start making small batches of different recipes until I know what I want to do. In the interim, I have a few organic shampoo and conditioner samples that I've tried. I have to once again get use the lack of lather. They leave my hair nice and clean, but it's the whopping price tag that has be bumming. I'm convinced I'll find a nice homemade one.

So, we are now an all vinegar and baking soda cleaning household with an occasional Better Life cleaner. It's much cheaper at Sprouts or Whole Foods. We got rid of all our candles (nasty nasty toxins, unless they are pure organic beeswax and have all organic cotton wicks) and air fresheners. Well, almost all. My husband refuses to give up his one in his bathroom ;) I need to just make him up spray with essential oil to see if I can convince him at works as well without all the gunk.

My personal care journey is doing well on eliminating and limiting toxins. All in all. I feel pretty good about it.

The next thing I've been thinking and praying on is a fast. Raised a Catholic, the extent of fasting I did was to not eat meat on Fridays during Lent, not snack during Lent, and to give something up. Other than that, we weren't big fasters. I know a lot of people do. What kind, I don't know.

There is a fertility juice cleanse fast that my friend swears by. I may have mentioned her in the past. She and her husband tried for ELEVEN YEARS (!!!) to get pregnant. Numerous failed IUIs and IVFs. Nothing seemed to help. A bishop at her ward (church) said he'd counseled many infertile couples to try this fast and it had worked for everyone. Extremely doubtful, she and her husband did it. Two weeks later...pregnant! If I didn't know her personally, I'd give that story the side eye and say "Yeah, right!" But, I DO know her personally and I DID see this happen in her life.

She sent me the info. My hesitation? It's two weeks. How with working full time and raising a child will I do this? It's to drink a gallon of water and a gallon of fresh organic juice everyday. Fruit and veggies all day and only veggies in the PM. It also has some supplements, but since I am on TCM, I don't think those supplements are necessary. I looked at the ingredients, and a lot I'm already taking on my own, or my TCM herbs have similar ones included.

To be honest, I'm already considered underweight (even though I've gained 10 lbs in the last nine months) at 105 lbs. And that 105 lbs was with my sneakers and jeans, so it's probably a little less. Will a juice fast be too detrimental on my system? My friend gave me the name of the woman who promotes it and said she called several times with questions. They were very good to get back to her and never charged any type of consultation fee.

I was thinking if I do embark on this, to use the Nutribullet to get maximum absorption and fiber and possibly put in some seeds or nuts to get protein, but I'd have to run it by the woman if it'd do any good. I won't do the fast without it though. I can't lose weight, and I'm borderline hypoglycemic, so too much sugar with no protein is bad news.

Anyway, it sounded like an idea to explore for health benefits but also as a spiritual journey with fasting. If I don't think I can handle two weeks, maybe start with three days? I'll keep you posted.

Still reading my book by Nerida Walker and taking more time with my Bible and the word. I've been incredibly peaceful. It's so interesting, but really, since taking the time to explore my relationship with God, ask myself the tough questions and grow in my faith, my diagnosis doesn't seem insurmountable. It's a worldly diagnosis.

As always, God bless.

Acupuncture, Cockroaches and Spiritual Reading

Sept. 19, 2014

Well, it was back to acupuncture yesterday. I arrived a couple minutes early and noticed a cockroach scurrying in the hallway. Before you get the heeby jeebies, it was not in my TCM's office. They share a building with a dentist office. They hadn't arrived yet, and I was sitting in the hallway that divides the two. I saw it was hurt and had a moment of, do I squish him and put him out of his misery or try and shoo him outside. Before I made my decision they arrived.

Why do I mention the cockroach? As my TCM was taking my pulse, her husband, who translates for me was sitting at the desk transfixed on this beast in the hallway. Out of the blue he started telling me about the cockroaches anatomy and how they are pretty much invincible on the top of their bodies because their shells are almost impenetrable making them very tough to get rid of. Then he told me, that on their anatomies, insecticides work through their abdomen which is why people spray the ground. They drag their bodies over it and it ends up killing them.

He was telling me that a good pesticide is detergent or cleaner because it eats into their body and dissolves their lipids. He then proceeded to pull out a bottle of 409. He squirted the guy three times on his abdomen and within minutes, he was dead. Moral of my story?? 409 killed this impenetrable beast! It really made it sink in why we did away with cleaners in our household. It's just a small example, but think of all the cleaners we "clean" with, how many chemicals we spray in our homes with air fresheners, we burn candles, we clean our teeth, hair, faces, bodies with them. Yikes!

The visit itself went well. When she read my pulse yesterday there was no frown. She said "Ok" and proceeded to say in Chinese the diagnosis. He translated that I was getting stronger. My pulses were much better today. Not necessarily strong, but not bad. For a normal person, they were "ok" and in my book, I'll chalk that up to a win.

She did the same main points, but I saw a few things switch up. She put a needle into the top of my skull. It is suppose to draw my energy down to connect with the needles in my reproductive points to help menstruation flow. She also moved the needles in my left hand to my right, and put a needle in my ring finger in the left hand. I couldn't really get a translation what that was for, but I know we put our rings there because it's suppose to symbolically lead to our heart so my assumption is something for my Qi.

I literally felt the energy today. I had a hot flash in the middle, which normally, I'd be a bit concerned by with a POF diagnosis, but my whole body felt like it swelled up and coursed with energy. It felt like when you wear a ring in the hot summer and it feels too small...that's how my whole body felt for a minute. Very bizarre.

Afterwards, my pulse was even better. She filled me up on herbs for a week. One more acupuncture visit and a replenish of herbs next week before they go to China for three weeks. When they return, most likely back to weekly acupuncture.

On this visit, I remembered they'd told me to start taking resveratrol a few weeks back because it's a high antioxidant and is suppose to help with blood flow. It's the chemical found in grape leaves which is why sometimes you hear people say a glass or red wine will prevent heart disease. It's the resveratrol, not the wine ;)

So, I ordered some. I did a bit of research and did find that it has been linked to fertility. Basically, it helps protect the eggs from prematurely aging, as with the rest of your body. An interesting thing I found, especially for those with POF is that it helps prevent osteoperosis. When you have POF, your body literally drains your bones of calcium, which is why a calcium supplement is so important, and why doctors often prescribe HRT. The HRT helps prevent bone loss. What they are now finding is resveratrol works just as well as some HRT regimens at protecting your bones.

Here is an interesting article. There are dozens more in you goodle resveratrol and fertility of health benefits, but this one spoke specifically about HRT.

http://www.naturopathiccurrents.com/articles/resveratrol_uncovering_the_health_benefits_of_red_wine

The fertility dosage I was able to find is 400 mg, however, I hate starting at the top. I began 200 mg dose yesterday. I found a good deal at iHerb that is non GMO and guaranteed to not have chemicals and not have had any pesticide. Here is a link to that supplement. Use coupon POD190 for $5 off your first order any price of $10 off $40. The other thing I like about that site is their warehouse is climate controlled, which it isn't at other facilities like Amazon.

http://www.iherb.com/Paradise-Herbs-Resveratrol-60-Veggie-Caps/4232#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=resveratrol&rc=443&sr=null&ic=7

(just an update to the above, that blend does not have very high resveratrol - here is the brand I use now

In other news, I read the book Inconceivable that I'd talked about ordering in a previous post. It was a nice book about someone's journey through secondary infertility. I really connected to her in parts because people automatically assume that since you had one child, it makes the diagnosis somehow easier. Not so. It's also hard to find support within the infertility community because people are struggling to have any child, and your having one is sometimes met with confusion and even hostility. It also makes you feel guilty at times that you are being so "greedy" to want another when some people have none. In this book, the author dealt with all those emotions.

I liked she explored many of the same things I'm doing and it reminded me the benefits of yoga. I'd kind of put them aside when I started meditating at night, but it reminded me that it also has to do with increased blood flow and body strength as well as quieting the mind. I've reincorporated that into my life the last few days. Just three poses really. I do them in the morning, in the afternoon if I remember and at night before bed. My son has actually started "kind of" doing them also :)

I do The Supported Shoulder Stand, The Supported Bridge Pose (both not to be done during menstruation because they are considered inverted, and during menstruation you don't want to send blood the wrong way) and The Cobra. Here is a good link to six poses and how they are good. I open my hip flexors at night during meditation similar to the Butterfly, but lying down on my towels.

http://magkaye.hubpages.com/hub/The-6-Best-Yoga-Poses-for-Fertility

I also got the first of Nerida Walker's books. Well, actually it's her second, but it arrived first, so I started reading it last night. I LOVE IT!! She really has been a blessing in my life and I'm so eager to read more and dig into the word. I've been trying to be still and rest in God's provisions for my life. I know places like Barnes and Noble and Amazon carry them, but I always buy second hand at Abe Books or Alibris.

I'm doing better. I'm still doing my "regimen" of sorts but it really has come with more of a peace. If I forget something, there is no panic, and I've eased up on taking the OPKs. I do them every 2-3 days, and they are still glaring positive at me, so my hormones are in over drive. What that means is my body really, really wants to ovulate, but things aren't really cooperating. In the mean time, trying to center myself. Miracles can happen, but they are most miraculous when the odds seem impossible I suppose. Maybe this will just make my testimony all the more powerful for someone who needs believing.

God Bless!

Postulating Carpet Cleaners and Embracing my Crunchy Side

July 22, 2014

So, interesting day today. We were having our carpets cleaned today (all organic and free of chemical) when one of the workers walked up to me and said "I see in your home. You're Christian." I answered, "Well, yes, I am." And he told me he'd known before he stepped in. Before he saw our Christian decor and bookshelf. He shared that he too is Christian and between bringing in equipment and stain fighting shared his spiritual journey while I sat at the table and worked.

Odd, perhaps. But, he was so innocent and charming and really spoke words of wisdom. Maybe naive, or just brazenly honest he asked the last time I really felt God's presence.  I told him last night. I had a calmness come over me. And get this, he asked WHY?

Um, well, I'm dealing with some health issues and have really been struggling and questioning recently. He went on to share some stories and experiences and as he was holding the cords as his fellow worker did the cleaning in our living room had the audacity to ask me what my health problems were. With, no apology. Normally, I'd be aghast, but the sincere and honest way he asked...I ANSWERED! To a complete stranger!

Here, I've been dealing with this diagnosis for six months and really, no one knows about it other than a handful of close friends and family. I write this blog half anonymous because I can't even bare the thought of telling people or opening myself to criticism, and here I shared in my kitchen with a young 20 something man who is studying to be a preacher that I can't have kids.

He shared his experiences with God healing people and I struggled to keep myself in check. My eyes were tearing up. As he gathered things up, he told me that sometimes God hands us the most difficult thing we can imagine so we absolutely hit rock bottom and can open our lives to him to lift us up. Pretty powerful words from someone so young.

As his co-worker was loading the truck. He came in. Asked my name. Asked if he could pray with me. He told me he felt moved by God to tell me two things. 1. God loved me. 2. God was working in my life to heal me. He then placed his hand on my shoulder and prayed. A real prayer. A moving prayer. They were words that left me speechless and crying. He prayed for the life within me. Not only "my" life, but the life growing in me.  I know I can't express all the things he asked, but it was very moving, in a very odd way.

I've never been good at sharing prayer. Yet, this boy was so unapologetic. He was so certain. He was so inspired. As he left, he locked eyes with me and said there is a reason I got my carpets cleaned. With this company. On his day working. God used people to give us courage, strength, hope and new life. He would keep me in his prayers and he trusted with every instinct in him that my prayers would be answered.

It was an odd day. A moving day. A day that left me rather mentally exhausted. I know his prayer will come back and strike me throughout the coming weeks.

When I woke this morning, I was feeling frustrated. Still faint positives. And, what drives me crazy is I "think" they are getting darker, but don't want to let that "hope" in. I was devastated before. If I did ovulate, I'm 9 DPO. Here is a picture of the last few days "progression." I had been testing once or twice a week to see if A. I really did get a positive and B. hoping the false line would leave. Without a clear picture of where I was in my cycle seemed like the safest bet given I take herbs and supplements. Since one day it looked darker, I checked the next few days to see if they progressed at all.

I'm back to my TCM tomorrow so will ask them about my levels. I'm trying hard not to be concerned and trying to take comfort in my carpet cleaner's wisdom. I can't fix this. Only God can.

In other news. I've fully embraced my crunchy side. I've been using homemade toothpaste for a few weeks now and love it. The recipe I found, once you add a bit of peppermint essential oil, really doesn't taste much different than the store bought kind. It doesn't suds up like that one, but really does make my mouth feel clean. Longer actually.

My newest obsession is my homemade deodorant. Again, a little out there for some folks, but I swear to you. It is AWESOME!!! How I didn't do this all along I will never know! I'd switched to Toms deodorant to get a bit more natural, but it didn't cut it for me. I took to dusting my pits with baking soda and an old blush brush several times a day. My homemade with a hint of lavender. Problem solved!! No chemicals and better than any store bought I've ever had. Bonus - it does't stain clothing like aluminum based ones do.

Well, ladies. It's been a humbling week for me. I felt like I was doing so well and have come to the embarrassing conclusion that "I" wasn't doing well. GOD was. It sounds simple, and I knew that, but I didn't KNOW it. Every moment of every day I need to keep reminding myself to "Let go and let God." It's the hardest lesson I have ever had to do.

Keep the faith.

ESSENTIALly Healed

May 4, 2015

So, I've never been a big "take the medicine" kind of gal. Of course, I take it when needed, but if I have a headache, I guzzle water first and most times it's dehydration, eye strain or stress that causes it, so why not try to hydrate, alleviate eye strain or reduce stress to take care of it rather than put chemicals in my body.

Well, lesson learned. My son, who I rarely give any pain medication too unless he's hurting (obviously, I give him medication if he is hurting or suffering and I cannot alleviate it otherwise) spiked a fever on Friday. Yesterday it got worse and he was tugging on his ear so we took him to urgent care. All was clear so they thought it was possibly a virus. Well, what did I do? Right away, we offered him Tylenol, because, that's what you do, right? Well, as I researched it more...no!

A temperature is alerting your immune system to fight the germs. So, if you shut that down, your body doesn't fight as hard. So, your fever lasts longer. Gulp. I just put him down for a nap with a bit of Tylenol. Lesson learned. Until it reaches 105 (my pedi actually confirmed this) there is really no cause for concern. Children run higher temps normally, so most times there is no need for alarm. I'm not quite sure I could let it get that high without turning into a panicky mess, but I'll try and refrain from now on with the meds until it hits closer to 103. It was 102.8 when I took him in yesterday.

A friend also suggested that I use essential oils so I delved into Dr. Google again and did some research. I have been using essential oils, that my friend gave me for my insomnia and I will admit it has worked miracles for me. I'm not sure if it's the towel trick my chiropractor suggested, the meditation and prayer, acupressure points I rub before bed, the herbs my TCM gives me or the essential oil, but my sleep has been FAR better. My guess...a little of all of those.

It did get me thinking though how much I've yet to explore the benefits of essential oils. I plan to pick up some peppermint to help with my son's fever, and I'm going to research more how fertility and essential oils can go hand in hand. I'll keep you posted.

I've been doing all I can to limit and eliminate chemical exposure. I spoke about it a little in my "Changes" blog post, but we've done more since. We have no cleaners with chemicals. I've been using Better Life What-Ever. It's ranked "C" on the EWG guide, but after some careful research, the C comes from it being possibly harmful to the environment. Don't get me wrong, I love the environment, and it's much better than most other everyday cleaners, but what I really liked about this one is there is extremely low risk for cancer or developmental or reproductive toxicity. That's an A in my book.

One thing I've learned researching on the EWG is to look at the overall rating, but also why things are rated that way. Some companies use "general" ingredients so they don't get bad reviews. Other companies that are fully transparent get worse reviews because one of the ingredients may be marked higher. Example, if one uses a specific essential oil, it could get a worse review because it could be an allergen for someone or disrupt hormone. You catch my drift. Use discretion and trust your gut.

To clean my carpets I only use vinegar and water. To get out stains hydrogen peroxide. My shower, vinegar and baking soda and then finishing up with Better-Life. You can find it cheaper in store. I know Sprouts and Whole Foods carry it.

I've also ditched my normal deodorant and toothpaste for Tom's because it's healthier. It took a bit to get use to a deodorant versus an antiperspirant, but I like it fine now. I think I'll give purelygreat deodorant a try. It only has four ingredients. I tread a fine line here because I want one that really works (aka, I don't want to smell) yet that is totally risk free. I feel optimistic about this one. Anyone give it a try??


Yesterday I spent a half hour researching sunscreens. We've been using Honest for my son and it works great and has a great ranking with EWG but it's a bit tacky. We'll use up the tubes we have but I'm giving Goddess Garden a whirl because of it's great ranking, reviews and recommendation from a friend. The sunscreen I had been using for my face, had a horrid revue and I was surprised because it is marketed and advertised as good for you...I won't mention it here, but their products are considered "healthy." Do yourself a favor (or don't if you don't want to turn into a panicky mess) and go to EWG.org to research the items you use around your house and on your body. Goddess Garden is available in most health food stores, but I found it cheap at VitaCost and Amazon.

My next project will be revamping my shampoos and body lotions. I quite using hair products years ago. If you have a great suggestion for all organic and chemical free, send them my way.

All my face stuff and make up is Origins. I was surprised it doesn't have great rankings on EWG across the board, but it's more natural and I trust it more than traditional over the counter.

There's been a lot of changes in my life, and I don't say everyone MUST do this. It's a personal preference, but I feel healthier and my body has started to respond to all the changes I've been making. The important thing is to limit what exposure you can and realize that you can't eliminate it all. Or you will go NUTS! And, we're trying to eliminate STRESS number one! Don't stress about every little thing.

Today I'm 5 DPO and my temps remain high. Always hoping for that positive, but if I can get through tomorrow without a period, I'll have made it another step in my healing. (My last luteal phase ended day 6.)

I just have to throw this in here because it was so darn cute. Every morning I do my back exercises as my chiropractor said to loosen my spine (helping my endocrine and nervous system shoot the right messages for hormones) and my husband said, "Babe, look!" I turned and my son was imitating my stretches. Never to young to learn proper spine health :)

As always, God Bless and keep on plugging away! Good luck, ladies!

Back in the Saddle and Full Steam Ahead

April 23, 2014

Alright, I’ve a google addiction! I’ve come to terms with it.

Well, now that my period is over and my temps stayed low (yeah, yeah, and I did test to make sure it wasn’t implantation bleeding) I’ve resumed having a glass of red raspberry leaf tea and green tea everyday. My other supplements have stayed the same, but I’m upping my Ubiquinol dose. Most people recognize it as CoQ10, but it is the more easily absorbable source – up to 8 times. It costs more, but my body needs all the help it can get.

If you recall, I was taking 200 mg a day. The recommended CoQ10 dose is 600-800 for fertility. Ubiquinol, after much research, the dosage should be about half. It’s suggested 300-400 (at the minimum.) Because I get leery with supplements (I laugh as I type this because I feel like an addict right now as it is) I always start with low low doses of everything to gauge my body’s reaction. I upped my dose today to 300 mg (100 mg x 3 times a day.) CoQ10 and Ubiquinol are suppose to really help with egg health. Here is a quick overview of the benefits in regards to fertility.

http://ivf.successrates.org/coq10-may-help-turn-back-your-biological-clock/

The long and short of it are it helps the egg from when it’s recruited (as I mentioned in my last post about 5 months before ovulation) to when it’s released ensure that it matures properly. This is the time when a lot of chromosomal abnormalities occur.

I’m kicking myself that I didn’t start with the recommended dosage originally because I keep thinking “Ahhhhh my eggs are five months behind now” but the reality is, I’m sure the dose I was taking at least helped, and my main focus was regulating my hormones and overall health which in turn would assist my eggies to ripen correctly. Now that I feel like my body is starting to kick in to gear, I’ll focus more intently on assisting my egg health. I was before, but, well, you know what I mean.

I do want to talk to my TCM on Saturday at my appointment about possibly adding Royal Jelly back to the mix. I took it for a bit in the beginning, but then they suggested as my main issue was hormonal, that I stop taking anything that could affect my hormones. Royal Jelly doesn’t affect hormones, but it can assist in your body regulating it. They thought the two were too closely tied because of all the herbs they were giving me to essentially do the same. Royal Jelly is suppose to help with egg health, so perhaps I will inquire if we can add that and propolis back to the mix.

Maca, shatavari and vitex were the other supplements I originally was taking and discontinued. I think their herbs are doing the functions of those overall, but eventually I may also delve into the maca discussion with them again. These three are used more in Western fertility (well, India for shatavari and Peru for Maca, but they are being used more here now by fertility specialists) and many TCM’s, especially those originally from China, are not familiar with them.

My promise to myself when I discontinued my “additional” supplements of royal jelly, propolis, maca, shatavari (I actually discontinued this one before the others because of it’s estrogenic qualities) and vitex was that I would give my TCM three months to work their magic with herbs alone. That was on March 12, and my period started five weeks later, so I know I should step back and trust….but OH, SO HARD! I’ll see their feeling on the Royal Jelly and continue to just follow their protocol for the rest of the three months I’d promised myself and then reevaluate my progress.

Ah yes, and back to my original google diagnosis in the beginning of this blog. My LP (luteal phase – which should be an average of 12-14 days – it was 11-12 days pre baby) was either 24 days of 6 days. Both of these suggest a progesterone imbalance. It was so low either the 24 day one suggests it never got high enough to crash and bring on menstruation, or the 6 day one would suggest it never got high enough to sustain a proper length luteal phase. Both of which suggest my egg quality was poor, or “weak” ovulation. 

That just means my follicle was most likely not mature enough or my egg quality was poor that when the follicle ruptured, the corpus luteum wasn’t (what was left over of the follicle when the egg ruptured) wasn’t big, or strong enough to produce enough progesterone.

Hence, my thought I have poor egg health. Well, I guess my reading of <.03 AMH was the clue, but I am convinced and have faith that reading was based on my ‘current at that time’ egg health and follicle pool. A health body = healthy ovaries = healthy follicles = healthy eggs.

Thanks for following along as my mind works things out. Now, I will just “Let go and let God.” Because, honestly, that is all I can do. The Lord said “Be fruitful and multiply” so I need to trust that is his intention for us.

In the mean time, I’ll continue to be healthy and trudge on. Since I know I’m pre ovulation, I’ll try and do my castor oil pack or an Epsom salt bath tonight.  I’ll also begin the Femoral Massage, or press. Randine Lewis, in the Infertility Cure, spoke about it, but I was never quite certain if I’d ovulated, so I never tried it. NEVER do this if you think you might be pregnant, or as the article has in bold, have high blood pressure, heart disease, circulatory problems or a history of stroke. As with everything I’m doing and talk about, use your best judgement. If you are uncertain or uncomfortable with it, don’t do it. I’m even a bit apprehensive because of the “what if I did ovulate” aspect so I’m only doing it for a few days after menstruation ceases in case I ovulate early, and if I’ve any suspicion I’m nearing O, I’ll stop. I’m also only doing it once a day and not three times in a row, but one or two. As I’ve said before, I prefer to start any supplement, acupressure, massage, etc at the bare minimum. I can always add more…

Here is an article about it.

http://www.livewellnaturally.com.au/fertility-blog/2010/8/4/boost-your-fertility-naturally-with-femoral-massage.html

Randine Lewis also spoke about other pressure points and massages in her book that I will have to revisit. Every night, I’ve been using acupressure on the four, five now (one was not suppose to be used after ovulation, so I never used it before a few nights ago) that my TCM showed me. Randine, in her book lists several others. Now that I know where I am in my cycle, I will begin implementing those ones into my meditation and prayer time before bed.

God Bless!

****Update, I did the femoral massage and didn't dig it. It makes me too darn nervous. Once I'm in the swing of things with cycles I can easily monitor, I'll try it again. 

The Changes

Ok, here’s the deal. After being diagnosed, I googled way too much. But,  amidst my agonizing horror of how “hopeless” this disease was, I found some great uplifting stories.

#1 is Cole and her blog. If you haven’t read it. Do. I used her as a basis for everything I’m doing. She jumped in with determination to wake up her ovaries and boy did she ever. After three months, she got pregnant, twice over J She now has twins…and they said it couldn’t be done. Pshaw.

 http://one-in-ten-million.blogspot.com/

Here are the changes I made.

1.       Changed my diet. Trying to go as organic as possible, from the produce, to the grains, to the meat and dairy.

2.       After reading in her blog, and then doing further research on my own, low fat dairy is a big no-no. I kicked the skim milk to the curb and drink almond milk now. All the other dairy I eat (cheese, yogurt, etc) I try to keep organic and whole fat. At the very least I look for the hormone free label.

3.       No cold drinks. I thought the TCM was crazy at first, but it actually makes sense. Cold restricts blood flow. So, why would I put a cold drink next to my reproductive organs? Some strict people won’t even eat raw fruits and veggies, but I don’t go that far. My TCM did say I could cheat every once in a while and have ice cream as a treat.

4.       Goodbye coffee and alcohol. I’ve never been a big drinker, but occasionally would have  a glass or wine or a drink. Since my diagnosis, haven’t touched the stuff. As for coffee, I’d kicked the regular, and was sticking to decaf, but never realized how many pesticides were in the stuff. I had Bryce pick me up some organic decaf, and will allow myself that once lent is over. I gave it up for the Big Guy ;)

5.       Sadly, as I’ve moaned before, I gave up breastfeeding. The TCM philosophy is a woman gives her life force to her child when she nurses. Because I was so depleted, they pretty much told me it was wean or never have a baby again. All my other doctors, including the chiropractor had already told me that too. I didn’t take care of myself. Plain as that. Reed wasn’t sleeping (AT ALL!! – I mean I literally was getting 2-3 hrs a sleep a night for three straight months!) and I was running myself ragged working every second he slept for naps and when he went down at night. Next baby (yes, there will be a next) I plan to nurse until they want to wean, but I need to take care of myself.

6.       Gain weight. I was too thin. The day I was diagnosed, they weighed me and I was 97 lbs WITH jeans, tennis shoes and a sweatshirt on. I’m 5’4”. Way to thin. I normally bounced between 100-103 before getting pregnant before but gained a little weight that go round thinking it’d aid my fertility.  My goal is to get back up around 105.

7.       Ditched all the toxic cleaners. We bought a plant based cleaner that pretty much cleans everything because my hubby likes a clean scent. I was fine with vinegar and baking soda, but it didn’t feel clean to him. This one, smells clean and no toxicity. Deal.

8.       Drinking only filtered water. So, it’s a Brita. Probably not THE best, but better than nothing.

9.       I used to drink water out of a big plastic cup every day, but I’m not certain it was BPA free, so on to glass.

10.   Castor Oil pack – I’ve been doing castor oil packs. I will admit though that even when I THINK I ovulate I stop. I don’t want to risk doing that if there is a chance that an egg is floating around in there.

11.   Epsom Salt baths – not only is it relaxing, but it helps detoxify and the magnesium absorption aids calcium absorbtion.

12.   Yoga and meditation. So, I think the big catalyst for my POF is stress. I’m type A, make everyone happy…which means I let it all bottle up. I’m trying hard to breathe deep, focus, let stressful situations bypass me.

13.  Asking for help. I want to do everything. And, let’s be real. It’s not possible. I’m guilty of not asking, or even at times demanding my husband or other people do things to help, then getting resentful. All that negativity just eats away at me. Now, I’m getting much better at just asking for help, or letting things slide. If I don’t clean up one night – not the end of the world.

14.   Acupressure, massage and stretches. My TCM taught me some acupressure massages that are suppose to “wake up” my lady parts so I do those daily. I read one in particular is a no-no after ovulation so I’ve been sipping it. My chiropractor gave me stretches to do every day and I’ve been doing them religiously.

15.   TON of herbs and supplements. I did a TON of research. I looked at what people did before that were successful, read about what each one does, and scrounged for anything that could help. I took that list to my TCM who told me what I should or should not take. I experimented with a few they didn’t know enough about, and after three weeks decided to put my trust in them completely and take only what is recommended.

So, here is my list of what I’m taking now. For a month I took Vitex, Maca, Royal Jelly, Propolis and Bee pollen in addition, but for now, my TCM doesn’t want me to do those anymore. They said the bee products are great, but could influence my hormones too much and although I’d probably be fine, they don’t want any risks. I also took Shatavari for about a week. That one was safe while I was breastfeeding so I took a ½ teaspoon. I stopped when I weaned because I figured the herbs they were giving me would do the same things. For those of you doing maca, I found a great recipe that completely hid the horrid taste. Even my husband dug them.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8209/raw-recipe-energy-boosting-maca-truffles.html

My first pregnancy, I took Royal Jelly and swore by it, so if we can get things moving, I’ll ask to revisit that one with them. I linked the items I use, but you can find some from your preferred seller or within your price range. I searched for the ones that were least tainted by fillers and tried to buy as organic as possible.

Ubiquinol – basically a version of CoQ10. After researching it, this one is suppose to be absorbed more easily. A lot of fertility dosages said to go as high as 200 mg 3 times a day. I’m just doing 100 mg in the morning and 100 mg in the afternoon.

L-Arginine – 100 mg

Wheat Grass – 2 pills, the bottle says 5, and I may amp it up, but for now, 2 seems fine. I take one in the morning and one in the afternoon.

Spirulina  - the bottle says 6, I take four. Two in the morning and two in the afternoon.

Chlorella – the bottle says 3, I take two. One in the morning and one in the afternoon.

Wild Yam – I just started this week at my TCM’s suggestion. I’m taking the lowest dose at 425 mg and perhaps moving up to the full dose of 850 mg. Many sites say a fertility dose is 2-3 grams, but there is conflicting evidence that too much can be a contraceptive. Since I don’t know when I ovulated (or if I did) I’m sticking with the low dose. A lot of people think this is for progesterone, and it can be, however it also normalizes estrogen production.

Multi – vitamin – I’m doing a basic multi vitamin. I have hemochromatosis, which means I cannot have iron, so no prenatals for me.

Folic Acid  - 400 mg. Because I can’t take prenatals, I have to take this separately.

DHA – I take a vegan source from seaweed. I took it all throughout my pregnancy and breastfeeding and it’s a great source of Omegas. Not to be confused the DHEA which is often recommended for POF. I don’t know enough about it and was leery self prescribing this. If my labs don’t change much with the herbs, I’ll discuss it with my doctor, but for now, no gracias.

Calcium with VitaminD – Because osteoporosis is a big one with POF, I make sure to take my calcium daily. I take 600 mg in the morning and 600 mg in the afternoon.

Probiotic

Cranberry – I’m prone to UTIs, so I take one daily.

Evening Primrose – I take this up until ovulation. Because I don’t know if I ovulated, I’m not right now.

Red Raspberry LeafTea – I drink a mug up until ovulation.