Transfer is Set. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

Oct. 7, 2015

Well, a bit has happened in the last few weeks. By the title, you can surmise we are A GO! Let me back track to get you all up to speed.

Last Thursday my coordinator called and verified the embryos were now in our "guardianship" or belonged to us rather. She emailed me the medical tests that we needed to get to proceed and set up a saline ultrasound and mock transfer for the following Weds (today) where she would give me my protocol and dates. First thing I did was email my doctor requesting labs be ordered so I could get my blood work done with insurance coverage. My coordinator also told me I would need to start taking a monophasic pill so I requested that order be placed through my insurance as well.

On Saturday, my husband and I went in for our labs. He had to get STD testing as well. Basically, those tests are required by the donating party and us to show that we don't have any STDs. If we didn't get the test we could "blame" I guess the embryos for us getting something. I think the clinic requires it more to cover themselves than anything.

I also went to get acupuncture that day and brought my father-in-law who was having some neck issues. I video taped his needles being placed and my son has taken great enjoyment out of watching grandpa get poked. Ha! I also had a session. I was happy that my pulses going in to my session this time were as strong as my pulses leaving my last session, so my body is stronger. Praise God! I need that in the coming months!

I also stocked up on herbs for the next month because my TCM is going to China. I talked over my upcoming November transfer and we decided as soon as he gets back to do weekly appointments. Now that I have my dates, we will schedule three. Two weeks out, one week out and that morning as long as my clinic can get me in a bit later in the morning for transfer.

Fast forward to today. I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night because so many thoughts were racing through my head. I'm crazy emotional. I ended up taking two melatonin and used my essential oils in full force to get some sleep. This morning, my in-laws who were leaving agreed to bring our son to daycare so we could get moving to our 8 am appointment. Somehow with traffic we were still ten minutes late. I called in advance and they didn't seem overly concerned.

We got there and my nerves were in full force. After signing a consent for the saline ultrasound, they led me back to exam room 3 where I disrobed from the waist down. The nurse was rather cranky to say the least. Our doctor walked in, and within one minute flat had the tube inserted. Now, when I signed the consent I saw in bold lettering it'd be good to take ibuprofen or Advil an hour before the procedure. This message was NOT relayed to me. Take my advice, if you aren't opposed to it, take the meds. It hurt! Maybe it's because my cervix is clamped so shut because of POF or what, but they had to jimmy it in there. Yowza!

Once the tube was placed, they pumped saline in so the doctor could look for any polyps or scar tissue that'd prevent proper transfer or implantation. My uterus was given the all clear and he measured where he'd deposit the embryos at transfer. He did show me both ovaries which I am happy to report are still there and still average size. He actually pointed out two potential follicles, which is more than we've ever seen :)

I won't lie, the whole birth control pills don't prevent pregnancy in POF women ran through my head. All I can think is, let that be true. If the extra estrogen does make me pop out an egg, let us time it right. As thrilled as I am with EA, au natural would still be pretty awesome!

After he was done, he told me to put on a pad and take a few extras because I would be leaking for a few hours. Lovely. At least it was just saline (although I have had some light spotting) and told me to get dressed and meet him in the conference room.

He kind of came in, said my uterus looks great and we're on schedule. Soooo.... What is the schedule? At this point, our coordinator came in and said she'd take over. He stood to go and shake my husband's hand and I was like "wait wait wait." Awkward silence. "So, um, based on the embryos, do you have any suggestions for how many we should transfer?" Silence. "Like, percentages? Statistics?" I mean, seriously, are we the only people who ask these things? Shouldn't they be prepared for this?

You know what he told me? "Transfer as many as you want kids."

Gee. Thanks. I tried to explain without sounded completely cheap that we want to maximize our chances while still being reasonable. We prefer a singleton, but prefer twins over none. He asked our coordinator the age of the egg donor and said "60% chance if you transfer one, 80% if you transfer two and about half of those cases are twins. Anything else?" And got up and left.

Sigh.

Once he left our coordinator basically said for me to start my birth control today to hopefully prompt a period. Take my last active pill the 25th, come in on the 29th for a baseline ultrasound and to start my meds. She said at that visit she would show us how to mix the meds properly and give me the shot. Apparently, I will be taking estrogen orally with a shot every three days.

Once I start progesterone, five days before transfer, I start taking progesterone shots daily which she said she needs to teach my husband to do. She said since I am so slim (5'4" 100 lbs) that she wouldn't hold any punches. It would hurt. She said if I had a bit more meat on my bones, there'd be more places to stick it, but the needle is an intramuscular needle and we'd run out of space very quickly. She said I'd be taking that at least through the first trimester and by that point, I'd have no where to sit. BUT, it was a smaaaaaall price to pay for such a large blessing. She has a point.

All I could think was though is my husband travels. I'm going to be doing some crazy gymnastics searching for a spot that isn't black and blue to stick myself when he's gone.

I did try to clarify the donor height and she said he most likely was 5'10" but she double check. We were given a pile of consent forms and told to come back on the 29th. I did ask her for my prescription, but she was very hesitant to give it to me. She said she would order it through their pharmacy. I tried to explain without fertility coverage, I want to price it everywhere and anywhere for the most cost effective place. She said she'd send me the order and I could call the other fertility pharmacies (she listed three or four) to get pricing and I could transfer it if I wanted.  I don't think she understood completely that my intention is to buy EACH one at the cheapest place, but I will fight that battle when I have to. She wants me to order everything at one. My thought is if one clinic has this one cheap and this one has that one cheap, that is my intention.

After that, we were ushered to finances. Youch! $895 for a mock transfer. sigh. My husband I could see was starting to twitch. I'm really trying not to stress about all this money. She said my meds would be about $1500 for the transfer and about $1500 more for the pregnancy. Our transfer with the discount is $2695. Thankfully, our embies are hatched already so we don't have to pay $495 for assisted hatching. Seriously, things are spinning. :(

We left and I was just kind of silent in the car. We talked a bit and I think we are set on transferring one, but I have that nagging feeling what if it doesn't work. I need to put that thought out of my head.

We drove straight to the pharmacy for me to grab my pills and I took the first one. I grimaced at the pack because I'm so anti pill. When I got home I happened to fall upon this article talking about how the pill has been shown to lower AMH and reduce ovary size. For normal women, they bounce back after 6 months to a year, for those with POI or POF, it's fertility suicide. I feel a bit miffed I'm taking the pill that could have in part led to my troubles to save my family. I keep telling myself it's for three weeks. Three weeks.

While we were there we had our medical records printed out to give to our clinic to proceed.

My mind is spinning. Such a long road it's been and now it's all happening at once. For each question that is answered about five more pop up and my coordinator seems so dismissive and short. It's frustrating. I get it's business for them day in day out, but I've never done this.

Looking at our calendar, my parents will be here for one of my appointments, and I've a feeling my mom will LOVE to come and put eyes on everything that is going on. Our transfer is the 16th. My original due date for my son was the 18th and he had a birthday on the 22nd so I could actually test that day and maybe get a result. To test and risk disappointment for his birthday or give him the grandest present...to be determined.

Well, that is my long update on how things are proceeding. I keep telling myself to keep the faith transferring one. My body snagged the embryo last time and I wasn't taking nearly as good care of myself as I am now. I'll be doing castor oil packs and steams up to transfer as well as acupuncture and herbs. My body should be primed to latch on. Right? Right??

God bless!

TCM, Moxa, and Embryos Oh My!

Sept. 28, 2015

I feel like my updates are lagging. I intended to post after my last TCM appointment, but it's been nearly two weeks since I went, so, here goes.

My appointment once again began with a flurry of back and forth between my doctors with me trying to catch random words I've picked up over the last year and a half. I had two sets of hands checking my pulses and the general consensus was it was better than the previous week. My kidney channel was still weaker than they liked. So, off to the acupuncture table.

This time, they decided to really pull out all the stops and do Moxa. Now, they told me it was sage, but as I read up on it when I got home, traditionally Moxa is done with mugwort. I'll clarify next time. Sometimes the language barrier loses a bit in translation. You can learn more about Moxa here. The basic 411 is it brings warmth to my lady bits and mugwort (if that is what they used) is great for the uterus. A lot of TCM's use it for a stagnant or "cold" uterus and considering it's been almost seven months since my last period...it's rather stagnant.

There are different ways of doing it apparently, but they had a little contraption that looked like a little house with a chimney. The moxa stick went through the chimney, and it had elastic around it to tighten it to my body. There was a little screen on the bottom, lying on my stomach to catch any ash that fell. She still put needles in all the other spots that she traditionally did it in.

After about a half hour she came in and removed the moxa and applied needles where it was and turned on the heat lamp to ensure my abdomen was still being warmed. Afterwards, she told me to drink a lot of water as it had a detoxifying effect.

Since then, I've been strict with my supplements, my essential oils and castor oil packs. I did get my second batch of Yoni Steam in the mail so I've been using that as well.

I did get an update from my clinic with the embryo adoption. I'd contacted a few attorneys that agreed a contract was out of the question without a second party and that I would need a letter of release. If the clinic did not have one or would not draft one, I could hire them to do so. I sent all that info to my coordinator who then asked for examples. I found four clinics online that posted their contracts and sent it.

A lot of the verbiage had to do with FET or IVF in general so I said I thought most would be covered in their contracts, and suggested they use a similar letter of remittance the donors use and change the language for a recipient. They contacted their legal team and all of this was approved. So, thankfully, we don't need an attorney.

I spoke with my coordinator today who said the clinic is transferring ownership to us and as soon as that is updated in their computer, we can proceed. I'm waiting on her to order medical testing so I can contact my doctor to put in the order. After that, we need to establish our timeline with the doctor for transfer. Her estimate is November transfer and we should know if we are pregnant by or during December.

I'm hoping some of my meds are covered by my insurance. There appear to be nine medications that are traditionally used for FET. Doctors usually choose a few that they are most comfortable with. All, seem to be used for HRT for POF, so I'm hoping with my pre-existing condition that some are covered. If not, I applied for a discount pharmacy card at this site http://www.npsncard.com/

You know I'll be calling every pharmacy in town and checking every price online for the best deal ;)

I've been a bit overly emotional the last few days. I think everything has kind of hit me. I know November isn't far off, but I just want to move on with our lives. I feel like we've been suspended for over two years now and I keep catching myself in "woe is me moments" and shaking them off.

We are SO blessed. This has really taught me to slow down and treasure every second with my son, my husband, family, friends... And, to not take a second of my health for granted. I know a year from now I'll be reading back over this with a baby in my arms and all these moments of doubt and grief will seem insignificant.

My in-laws are coming to town this week so my husband and myself can sneak away for two nights together. It'll be really nice to reconnect and have adult conversation away from work, stress and "infertility" junk. I don't think people outside our "community" quite grasp how draining that is. For the most part, we are really balanced and I think handling it really well, but it does take a toll.

Before we head out I'll head to acupuncture on Saturday. Once we have a for sure transfer date, I'll begin weekly sessions with them to prime the pump so to speak.

God Bless.

EA kinks

Sept. 16, 2015

Well, we have a few communication glitches in the embryo adoption world. Nothing major. The highlights were this. The embryos were NOT tested. Bummer, but ok. Our donors want complete anonymity, but were also refusing to give any medical background.

This really bummed me out and I've appealed to them through our coordinator to change that. I know they want to be anonymous, but I know nothing from a medical record if I don't have the person to apply it to. There is no context. My feeling is, every doctor's appointment I've ever gone to they ask me my and my family's medical history. I want to be the best advocate for our future child or children and I can't do that with no information about them.

I used the example of my POF and HRT with my coordinator. HRT is recommended, but after knowing my grandma and two aunts have all had breast cancer, even my doctors agreed treating in a different method made the most sense. I also used the example of my hemochromatosis. Not knowing I had that, if I would have taken prenatal pills with iron I may have harmed myself and potentially the baby. I think my coordinator understood my hesitation and has said she'd discuss it further with the donor. I told her I could care less about the physical descriptions, but a basic medical history, I felt, was imperative.

We did get some info on the egg donor they had used, so I was glad they released some of that, but again, no family medical history was disclosed.

The other issue we are dealing with now is the clinic still wants a contract, but the donor has already remitted the embryos to them, so we have no one to form a contract with. I've spoken with an attorney and they've advised me the clinic can issue us a standard release and a donation contract not only is not needed, but not possible without the second party. We shall see how the clinic responds.

I did ask them if the other couple that is receiving any of the embryos would like to have any further contract should both of us have children from the group. I think it'd be a nice option for the kids to meet on down the line.

So, we are basically, once again in a holding pattern. Waiting to be advised on legal clearance. Waiting if we can appeal for further medical history. Waiting to be told what medical tests I need to take. My coordinator guessed a November cycle. Honestly, I know the clearance, even if drafted by a lawyer can be done in an hour and my medical test results are done within 24-48 hrs, so I think this could all move much faster than anticipated. She said the other couple needed to cycle first...why, I don't know. I feel like if four embryos are assigned to them, three to us, we shouldn't be tied with each other as far as cycling goes.

Each embryo is in it's own straw so she said we could transfer 1, 2 or 3 depending on how they thaw. I said flat out no more than two.

Other than that, I'm going to try and sneak away to acupuncture tomorrow since we have a birthday party on Saturday. Hopefully things are improving. I'm still getting constant positives on my OPKs and HPTs which is frustrating and makes me feel things are still a bit awry.

I also opened a Bravelets page. Basically, it's jewelry to offer inspiration. We get $10 from each purchase for our medical bills. I love the story behind the page. If you want to buy anything to offer support to us, yourself or other families embarking on the adoption journey or needing help and inspiration through other trials, tribulations or health crises, it's a wonderful program.

You can check it out HERE and click the fundraise link at the top to open your own page to help offset expenses.

I'll keep you posted as things unfold.

God Bless!

EA Progress

Sept 8, 2015

Well, progress on the EA front! Our coordinator emailed Friday afternoon and said we are a go and she'd be contacting me this week. It's only Tuesday night and I'm trying very hard not to be too antsy and stalk her. I think out of self respect I'll wait...until at least tomorrow ;)

I did start getting a few quotes from different attorneys to draw up contracts for us. It ranges. Not a cheap process for sure. Someone did give me info for theirs which charges $500 to draw it up, but we'd have to cover the donor's as well. Most of them are in the $1000 range, although I got a quote from one attorney for $1000 flat covering ours and the donors attorney fees as well. I got a good feel from her. Maybe she's playing into my sentimentality but her closing words were "That's really exciting that you have the opportunity to adopt embryos. I think they are such special little babies waiting to get adopted." Sniff. She may be the winner for us.

I did head back to TCM on Saturday. More of the same. A lot of conversing in Chinese and furrowing of their brows that left me looking like I was watching a ping pong match, back and forth, back and forth trying to keep up with them. The consensus, no surprise, was I was still weak and need to continue daily herbs. However, the good news was I was doing better than last time. My pulses weren't horrendous, but my kidney channel (reproduction lies there) needs to be stronger.

I mosied into the acupuncture room and climbed up. Again, we started with the back. Face down I went and she poked me all around the lower back trying to get my organs working. About 35 minutes later, flip!

She did the usual spots, but did a few more on the top of my head, one on my chin (a new one!) and a few more on the leg and abdomen. About a half hour into it she came in and removed almost all of them except the abdomen and finger ones trying to center all my energy on my lady bits.

After my session, I was nice a strong. My kidney channel weaker than the others, but overall, they were happy. If only I could do it daily, maybe I'd always be strong. We went over the dates they'll be in China. She will be gone starting in two weeks, but he won't leave until Oct. 15- Nov. 1. Leading up to transfer they want me in weekly sessions to prepare my body. I was feeling a bit anxious if transfer will be after their gone, but worrying is useless. Nothing I can do to change it. Just have to trust HIS plan (big guy upstairs.)

I've run out of my Yoni steam so I'll be ordering another batch. I feel like the steam and following it with the castor oil packs has been good for me. I'll continue to do that up to transfer. In the mean time, we're still trying au natural.

Well, I should get some sleep. I just wanted to update you all on the good news with the EA moving forward. I'll let you know more details as I get them.

God Bless!

TCM, Acupuncture and EA

Aug. 22, 2015

I had an update from my coordinator the other day for EA. Not a huge update, but she reiterated the embryos were still ours and she was just waiting on the donors to say how anonymous they wanted to be. At my prodding she said we could be cycling in October. I'm not sure how accurate that is because we have a lot of steps in the mean time, but at least I'm on her radar.

I did have my TCM appointment. My pulses weren't quite as bad as I expected them to be, especially having been sick the week prior. They said they were a little hard to find, but once they found them, not awful. They were of course WAY better AFTER my acupuncture session.

She did the double whammy on me again this time. The back and the front. I have a feeling they really, really want to see some progress with me. They also told me I need to make sure to do my herbs twice a day, I need to gain a bit of weight and increase my activity. That makes sense. I know on my "work" days I sit behind a computer for ten hours basically, so I need to take a few breaks. Even if that means sprinting up and down the stairs a few times. I need to increase circulation. Blood pumping does a body, and a reproductive system good.

I took another test and of course that same faint line was there. Drat you line! I always wanted to see a line when I was TTC before, but now I want none or a big fat bold dark pink line! Since I felt like I was in the all clear I took my laptop into the bathroom for another V-steam while my son was at school. This time was a bit more relaxing, even with my work deadlines.

After my steam, I did my castor oil pack for an hour. I plan to do this little combo weekly until a positive or a transfer is lined up. Other than that, I'm feeling ok. I had started getting horrid night sweats when I was sick, but I'm happy to report they are gone since I've gotten better :) Whew! I'll keep slathering up in my oils and taking my supplements.

Life is good though otherwise. We had a wonderful family day at a local family sports and health event. We plant to grill out, have a drink (hey, one good thing about not being preggo, right??) and enjoy the evening.

Keep the faith and God bless!

Update WAY overdue

Aug. 17, 2015

Wow!

I feel like my blog is way, way overdue. I was out of town for a month and after returning swamped catching  up with everything. Where to start...?

Well, I guess the first place to start is to tell you that no, no, I have not had a period yet. I'm on CD 148 and still, apparently going strong. I was really sick last week with the fever, aches, headache, soar throat, the whole nine yards. Part of me thinks I got hand foot and mouth because I had about a dozen canker sores in my mouth. They cleared up fast, so maybe it was just part of whatever little bug I got.

I also did the V-Steam a few weeks ago. My review is here. I didn't go into great depth my experience as a whole while I was doing it because I was trying to keep it somewhat professional since I was reviewing a product, but here goes. I had the brilliant (note sarcasm here) idea to do the steam on a Sunday evening while my son was still awake. I thought I could quietly slip into the restroom with a *gasp* magazine. It sounded blissful.

So, I got my herbs a steamin', prepared the throne and got out some magazines to sit back and relax for an hour. About five minutes into it, my son starts pounding on the door, screaming bloody murder. No fear, his dad was here. I just heard him yelling "In here buddy. Leave mom alone." Um, come get him please. So the pounding continues and the crying gets louder. I'm a bit indisposed so I'm hollering to go play with his trash trucks and singing songs with him through the door.

My husband was able to wrangle him so I delve back into my magazine for about five more minutes. And, he returns. This time with a vengeance. I'd locked the door and he was trying desperately to get in. Trying to talk him down, I tried to open the door on my end thinking, "whatever, he can just come in." I just wanted to reach at least 35 minutes doing the steam. Problem is, the door is locked. Like, from the inside too. Um....

"Babe!!!" "Babe!!!" I keep yelling and nothing. Apparently, my husband has gone out to the garage. By this point my son is full throttle. And, I'm starting to panic. I'm stripped naked from the bottom down dripping from the steam, and we're both grasping at the door. Finally my husband comes in and thinks I'm joking. Um, no. So, he got the screwdriver and can't figure how to get it off. I'm trying to talk my son off the ledge through the door and trying desperately to realign the handle on my end so I can get out. Finally...success. He'd loosened the screws so loose, the handle misaligned and locked me in. We tightened that bad boy up.

You can read about all the awesome things it did in my review...I just had to share how unglamourous those final moments were. I'm thinking the next one will be when he's sound asleep or at daycare while I work. Not exactly releasing the inner goddess in me with a laptop working while I do it, but this goddess has to take it where she can get it.

I did go to a baby expo the other day. I was working at a booth, but I was baby crazy being there to say the least. All these brand new babies and pregnant mommas. These teensy tiny little clothes. Sooooo cute. While I was there, I did a Zyto scan at our booth wondering what it'd tell me this time. Third time, and again totally accurate.

Basically the only things out of whack for me was an oil recommended for estrogen imbalance and several for releasing negative emotions and people and a few for pursuing a dream. Estrogen out of whack? Clearly yes. Me hung up on negative relationships. Check. Me striving toward a dream. Check.

Not to get into too much detail, but I put forth too much effort in some relationships. I think we all do. I'm trying really hard to put my focus on people and positivity and just release all the negative crap. I was surprised the Zyto picked that up. It's something this past week I've really been struggling with and came to terms with. In the past, I've always told my husband "I won't sink to their level or change who I am." The reality is, I don't have to change the core of my being, I just don't have to put my focus there. Allowing myself to be negatively effected by people and things is what got me to this health crisis to start with, so *breathe in* *breathe out* I've released it.

The greater purpose? Again, long story short, my parents were kind enough to allow my husband and myself an overnight trip. Our conversation initiated as a fight because he was saying he wanted to move, that my acting career had been moving slow and he was sick of living paycheck to paycheck in the most expensive city it seemed on earth. Ok, lot of valid points there, but ouch! Instant tears and instant seething anger. It evolved into a very positive conversation though.

Once I explained his job takes him out of town five days a week leaving me absolutely no time to write my projects, run the workshops I use to do where I fostered all of my casting relationships, very little time to focus on any submissions or take meetings and left me scrambling to get my hours in for my "day job" after our son went to bed. It was really eye opening to me how frustrated I'd allowed myself to get and how stagnant I felt. Instead of celebrating my auditions, I was spending my energy panicked finding a sitter rather than focusing on the role.

We decided his looking for an in town job that will allow me to meet up with some writing partners to finally get the two ideas I have rolling. We also spit balled a few things off each other. I'm not sure I've mentioned it in here, but he's a Second City grad and very funny. We spent a few hours on the beach and went for a super long walk through the cemetery game planning and dreaming again. We used to spend hours every night walking and planning and talking.

Obviously, we haven't done that since our son was born, but it really reconnected the two of us. I felt like we were a couple again and had the same focus. He also got some clarity and is refocusing on commercial acting again once he can get in town employment. That was where he was successful before and I know he will be again. I think him being in town more will relieve some strain on our relationship and allow us to reconnect more.

It also really gave us some focus on all the fertility woes and the toll they've taken. We just feel so strongly things are going to work out. In my heart of hearts it just feels like things will work out with all the fertility treatments and transfers, but if that is our reality, that is God's plan and I know we'll be doubly blessed by it.

So, all in all, an extremely accurate Zyto. I'm always amazed at how those things work. Our bodies really are miraculous and intricate things, aren't they? It's amazing how negative thoughts or needing the extra confidence to lunge ahead...your body just knows what it needs.

Tomorrow is back to my TCM for herbs and acupuncture. I've been without herbs about a week and a half now. I stuck to my two a day the whole time I was back home with family. I had very few fertile signs there if any. I DID however get rather "fertile" after doing that V-steam. I've had on and off cramping and much more cervical mucus.

On a whim I took an OPK and it was extremely positive so I took a pregnancy test since I hadn't in about a month. It came back light positive. It didn't really excite me because, let's face it, light positives and I don't have a good history. I retook it four days later. Still light positive. So, my hormones were a bit whacky, but I was also sick, and I know my body goes haywire hormonally when I get sick. I'm hoping now that I'm better it will improve.

The thing that upset me about the fake positive was, it was pretty dark for a fake out. I feel stupid because I always let that "could it be" thought flash through my mind and then instantly chastise myself. Check it out. Top was last Monday, bottom was last Friday. I haven't checked since although I'm sure I will tomorrow before heading into acupuncture as a "just in case."

On the EA front, I'm getting a wee bit agitated. After three emails, our coordinator sent me a brief email saying the embryos were still ours, but she was out of the office and would check in tomorrow on how things were progressing. That was a week ago. I tried contacting her twice to see what she learned and try to request a rough time line of things.

Once we get the final green light, I still need to get medical tests done, we need to draw up a contract and figure out our course of action since I don't cycle. I know my TCM wants to do acupuncture weekly leading up for a few months as well.

So much to think about. Well, apparently since I haven't written in six weeks I just spewed it all at you in one looooooong blog entry. I'll try to write more often. If I have a few moments to do a TCM update I will later this week.

As always, God Bless.

My "V Steam" or Yoni Steam Review

Yoni Steam Review

Last I wrote, I mentioned that I had decided to try a V-steam after two friends had gotten pregnant after doing so. I looked online for a reputable company that used organic herbs and helped guide me through what it was and how it worked.

I came across a company called Vibrant Souls that really helped me grasp how the ancient old custom was good for a woman's physical health and emotional well being. I already know how integral adequate blood flow to the reproductive organs are through my work with TCM, acupuncture, castor oil packs, massage, etc so I grasped immediately how the steam would increase blood flow to the area. I also am well versed with essential oils and know how effective they are so understanding how the oils are released from the herbs (DO NOT use essential oils for a Yoni steam, it is WAY WAY too potent) also made a lot of sense to me.

Here is an excellent FAQ page to help you understand how it works and how to do it.

WARNING: Do NOT do this if you are pregnant or could be pregnant. If you are actively trying to conceive, do it before ovulation, or if you are like me and rarely or don't ovulate, take a pregnancy test first just to be sure.

I am quoting directly from their page the list of herbs in their Yoni Steam Blend:

What herbs are typically used to steam and why?

• Mugwort: In addition to fighting infection through its antibiotic and anti-fungal properties, mugwort balances female hormones and stimulates the production of hormones that help to maintain uterine health as well as protect the uterus from things such as ulcers and tumors. Mugwort steam opens the pores, allowing the beneficial herbs to penetrate into the blood stream. In addition, mugwort helps to stimulate menstrual discharge and ease cramping.
• Rosemary: An aromatic and antimicrobial herb, rosemary treats bacterial infection, speeds wound healing, inhibits yeast growth, and stimulates menstruation.
• Lavender: One of the most relaxing herbs we have, lavender supports healing, and it also promotes menstrual flow.
• Yarrow: Astringent, tonifying and cleansing, yarrow is great for regulating menstrual flow, treating ovarian cysts and supporting overall uterine health.
• Partridge berry: Revered as a wonderful herb for the female reproductive system, partridge berry treats infertility, regulates menstrual cycles and helps decrease severe menstrual pain.
• Motherwort: Astringent, tonifying and cleansing, motherwort strengthens and relaxes uterine muscles, eases uterine cramping, and may help treat uterine fibroids. Motherwort stimulates uterine tone and blood flow.
• Calendula: Aids in healing of scar tissue, vaginal tears, or hemorrhoids.
• Rose Petals: A relaxing, uplifting and astringent herb that is wonderful for pampering.

I sent Sierra, the owner of Vibrant Souls an email and described my condition and shared my journey and blog with her. I asked if she'd mind sending me a sample to try so I could review for you. She answered immediately and was warm, engaging and took interest in my diagnosis and encouraged and applauded that I was embracing holistic treatments and helping to mainstream them.  I received my sample the following week. I was unfortunately out of town for a month so was unable to try it out. However, as soon as I got home and settled, I grabbed the package.

The package was beautiful and elegant. Retailing at $15 it came with enough herbs for three steams, so $5 each. Not bad. If I'd gone to the store on my own and tried to do a mix myself it'd have easily cost me about the same. Forget about adding in the price of gas and my time to do so. I also didn't know the appropriate mix of each herb. I loved these were organic. I wouldn't do the steam without them being organic.

Opening the package up I was impressed by the freshness of the herbs. I also love it comes with a resealable pouch so the herbs can stay fresh between uses. All of the herbs are in one pouch, so you have to measure the herbs out for your steam. They smelled awesome. I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting, but I wasn't prepared for such an appetizing aroma. Even my husband said they smelled amazing.

I carefully measured out my two liters of water and set it to boil. I put in the herbs and let it simmer for ten minutes.

Since I don't have a Devi Steam Seat (a seat with a hole in it) or the other suggested methods of doing so, I opted to just use my toilet. I am toying however with the idea of getting a seat if I continue the endeavor. It sounds a bit more relaxing than sitting on the can ;)

Thankfully, I'd cleaned the toilets earlier in the day with some chemical free essential oils so I knew my "throne" was clean and chemical free.

After steeping for ten minutes, I took the herbs off the heat and allowed them to cool for an additional 10 minutes. I took a glass bowl and set it in my toilet. Because I was paranoid the extreme sudden heat might crack the toilet (paranoia I know) I put two cloth diaper liners down as "hot pads" to prevent the hot water in the bowl from resting against the porcelain.

I placed the glass bowl on the diaper liners and pouring the water with the herbs in. I stripped from the waist down, sat down and covered up in a large blanket. My steaming adventure was actually rather humorous looking back because I stupidly tried to do it while my two and a half year old son was awake and after about five minutes decided it was time for me to come out. I'll save that for another post, but long story short, he was so adamant I come out, he loosened the knob enough the lock slipped and I got locked in. Yup. Awesome.

Back to my Yoni experience ;) It was a bit hot to start, but like the instructions suggested, I just opened my legs a bit until it cooled enough. It was actually very relaxing. I started cramping after about five minutes, which for me, with POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) was a nice surprise. I don't often cramp or have much activity down there, so I took that as a good sign.

After about 35 minutes (I wish it could have been longer, but the whole getting locked in the bathroom with a toddler screaming on the other side - don't worry daddy was there with him) cut it short.

I am delighted to report that although I am on cycle day 146 of this cycle, I started to get cervical mucus a few days after my steam. To most women, that may not be a big deal, but for me, my estrogen is near 0, FSH was over 100, LH all over the place. What does that mean? My 36 year old self has the hormones of a 100+ year old post menopausal woman. Cervical mucus is HUGE.

I intended to try to steam again after a week, but I was unable and I told my husband I wouldn't try it again until I had a chance to take a pregnancy test as I'd had that patch of fertile cervical mucus.

I liked the steam and intend to continue using the products, this time as a customer. For the price, I figure it can't be beat. A lot of women pay top dollar in spas for it, and I prefer to do it in the comfort of my home at a price tag I can justify and afford.

My husband and myself continue to try naturally, but we are also nearing embryo adoption and could be transferring in as a little as a few months. I will absolutely steam and do acupuncture weekly to prepare my body for pregnancy. Unlike a normal woman, the blood flow is greatly restricted to that area. Many woman with my condition have ovaries the size of peas. I do NOT want that. For me, the steam is a way to ensure that my blood flow is adequate as well as prod my parts (and hormones) back into use and prepare my uterus to be strong for pregnancy.

I embrace holistic treatment and this compliments my regiment beautifully. I want to thank Sierra whole heartedly for sending me a sample and for educating and offering this service for women. I think it's important alternative treatments are more readily available, discussed and used not only instead of but in addition to traditional Western treatments.

The thing I'm pumped about as a customer is they have a monthly membership for $15. It's the same price as one bag of three steams, but it has free shipping, a free guided meditation (probably more relaxing then a 2 1/2 yr old banging on the door) and free perks like free samples or new meditation tracks.

If any of you ladies out there are debating or questioning it, I say GO FOR IT!! I was weirded out by telling people I was interested in it until a friend told me I should try it. Lo and behold another said the same thing. I've decided it isn't some crazy ritual that only the rich and foolish run out and spend hundreds on, it's a legit holistic endeavor to promote relaxation, well being and overall physical health.


**I did sign up to be an affiliate of Vibrant Souls and I will earn a small commission if you click through and order from the site using this link.