Sometimes God has a different path in store for us. After being diagnosed with POF, I set out on a journey to "repair" my body and get pregnant naturally. Somewhere along the line, although pristine health and self care is my goal, the necessity to "prove" the doctors wrong became less important and we sought the perfect solution to grow our family. We decided on Embryo Donation / Adoption. Read about our journey. Blessings!

17 weeks 1 day

May 27, 2016

Our little bambino is doing well. I was back to my OB today for a checkup. Heart rate was good at 154. We went over my weight gain, which she was happy to see went up a bit, but she wants me to focus on getting more calories. She actually said high carbs, which I wasn't expecting...I was thinking more proteins. My heart did a happy dance to hear "don't be afraid to indulge." What my mind heard? "Ice cream."

Honestly though, I remember last time I didn't start gaining weight until further into my second trimester as well and there was one week in particular it was like I packed on 6 lbs or something. The following week 1/2 lb. I know it's all so variable with water weight, time of day, yada yada yada. I've no worries. I gained enough last time and my son was a healthy weight.

The irony is, I feel like I've gained quite a bit this time. But it's just my belly is much larger than last time. I was looking at photos, and I think I'm about two weeks ahead. I know that's common with second pregnancies, but I didn't expect to pop so soon. Sometimes I get to wondering how large this baby will be. My husband and myself are rather petite, so no one was too surprised our last baby wasn't huge. BUT, these aren't my genetics. This baby could really be any size. It's so funny, but I forget.

Before transfer I always had that lingering fear that this pregnancy would feel "different" or I'd feel differently toward this baby and that isn't the case at all. Instant connection. I know this baby is ours. And, he'll always know who his mommy and daddy and brother are.

My friend who also did EA gave birth two weeks ago. It was such a joy to go see them in the hospital and spend time with them when they got home. Any baby snuggles - nothing better! I get such a chuckle because people commenting on his photo on Facebook say "Oh, he looks just like his mommy." The nurses in the hospital thought he looked just like his daddy. It's so funny people perceive what they want to see, and also I'm a big believe in epigenetics. I'm actually taking a workshop in it next month at a conference. I'm pretty excited!

I had to get my second trimester blood test for the genetic screening and thankfully I read through their paperwork because the nurse forgot to mark the "donor ovum" box. I'm not sure how much that would have screwed up the interpretation, but they were grateful I caught it. I head to the geneticist in two weeks for the anatomy scan and all my fingers and toes are crossed the SCH has resolved and the partial previa has moved up. I've been slowly doing more physically, but still trying not to push it. I'd like more liberties to do some light workouts or longer, more brisk walks. I've always been a very physical and active person and it's therapeutic for me. If not, totally fine, no need to push it, but it'll be reassuring to know it's all better.

My doctor also chatted with me about starting aspirin, but we're holding off until the SCH is cleared. Apparently since I'm an "elderly pregnant" woman and all it should help reduce the risk of preeclamsia. considering my blood pressure has been in the 84/51 to 91/54 range (you'd think I was comatose) I'm fairly certain that won't be an issue, but I'm no doctor. Another of her concerns why she'd like the baby aspirin is in my last pregnancy I was induced for low amniotic fluid. Actually, they wanted to induce me several times, but with persistent daily, then every other day NST and AFI testing, we avoided it for over four weeks. She thinks with an aspirin regimen, it may increase blood flow to the placenta and reduce the risk of low amniotic fluid. If that is the case, then bring it on. I'd rather not have that stress, concern and risk to the baby for the last month.

All in all, our wee one is doing great. I feel him squirming around in there. Sometimes more than others, nothing too consistent. I'm waiting for the punches, kicks and movement on the outside. I know how exciting that will be for my son.

Until next time...God bless!


16 weeks 1 day

May 20, 2016

I realize it's been a long time since I updated. I guess the reasoning is, not too much new stuff to chat about ;) I know they say each pregnancy is different, but this one has royally kicked my tush so far. The exhaustion and nausea were far worse. I'm not sure if it's because I'm older, the meds and supplemental hormones early on, or just this little bean, but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I started feeling better about a week ago, but have had a few set back days, but all in all, much better.

I'm also growing much faster this time. I feel like I'm definitely starting to show. I compared photos with my son at 16 weeks and I think I'm more around my 18th week marker from last time. The baby was measuring ahead at the last ultra sound so maybe that's part of it...and the fact they say you show sooner on subsequent pregnancies.

At my last appointment his heart rate was around 152, so very good. No ultra sound at that one. I chatted with my OB more about the SCH and the partial placenta previa and she expects good outcomes at my 19 week scan. I'll be in to see her once more before that one - next week - so 17 weeks.

I've cravings for meat and protein this pregnancy. Typically I love sweets, but I can take them or leave them right now. Although, ice cream always sounds good which sounds very stereotypical. I think its the cold...everything cold soothes my stomach, which is exactly what my TCM said to avoid, but at this point, being able to operate day to day is pretty important too.

And emotional...did I mention emotional?! The feel good commercials and Facebook videos get me teary eyed, slights from family or friends leave me obsessing and sad. Par for the course I suppose.

So, no big updates. My son is snuggling his baby brother everynight and singing and talking to him. Absolutely warms my heart. We think we are settled on a name. We've a lot of time to go back and forth though. We're also starting to plan how to maneuver our home to make room for another baby. So much to start to think about.

Loving the journey so far. Very excited to see this wee one growing!

God bless!

12 weeks pregnant

April 21, 2016

So, lots of excitement and updates since my last post! We got the results of our NIPT blood test...very quickly actually - within five days. All the genetic markers look great for the baby. We also found out it's a...


Our son was VERY adamant he wanted a girl, so we made a big batch of cupcakes with blue icing and got him a balloon. Between the treat and balloon...we swayed him boys were cool. Daddy after all has a brother and he'll get to play with him and teach him a whole bunch of neat stuff.

I also was finally instructed to start weaning my meds. I began a week ago Monday, limiting my estrace to 1 2mg tablet at night and .5cc of PIO nightly. Sunday was my last injection after three consecutive months. I did a happy dance!!


Today was my 12 week appointment and the little guy was hopping around in there. It's so neat to see him. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly babies develop and grow in utero. Simply amazing. He was very cooperative until they had to take the measurements of the back of the neck - then he just decided to nap or keep stretching. Once she finally got the measurements, they were around 1 ml so all good.

They did see I still had a slight SCH and a bit of placenta previa, which is probably which caused it in the beginning. Because it's still early and so slight, they think it will rectify as they pregnancy goes on and move up. If I experience another big bleed, go to the ER, but slight spotting may just be the placenta shifting.

Still on pelvic rest and can't lift things, but normal activity is fine so I'll start my walks again. It was so nice to see our little guy healthy and active. I've started feeling little movements as well. I thought it was early, but since I'm thinner and it's a second pregnancy they said it was very plausible. Here is a photo of our guy!

Today was also the day we announced our pregnancy. I'm not sure everyone caught the bit about it being embryo adoption, so we'll have to clarify at a later date, but some saw the #snowflakebaby hashtag and have followed our journey close enough to know what it meant. Our son announced in his own creative fashion :)


He's very proud of his baby brother. He picked out his boots and needed his drum stick as a pointer. Every night consists of lots of belly kisses and he makes sure to lotion my belly up and pray for baby. He will be the best big brother ever. We're feeling very blessed!



10 weeks 5 days pregnant

April 12, 2016

Inching our way toward the end of first tri. My genetic appointment on Friday went well. A substantial part of it was taking all my family history and my husband's which really wasn't applicable in my situation, but she said I had the time and insurance covered it, so why not. I gave her what I know about the donors which is very limited. I had a bit more on the egg donor, that she was screened of genetic diseases and was cleared, so she said since she was 21 and cleared of those, there was minimal risk of our baby having something wrong.

So, I took the NIPT blood test. It was Illumina, and I was a smidge annoyed because I'd called them in advance to ensure it was MaterniT21. However, I'll give her credit, she called Illumina with me sitting right there and they said the test would work even if it was donor egg or embryo, so we proceeded. She told me the test results would be in, in 7-10 days, but it could be a few days sooner...I heard sooner ;)

She said she'd call me as soon as they had them, good or bad news so not to panic. Since I find out before my hubby girl/boy, I'm debating doing something to reveal to him and our son what we are having. Hmmm....

I also chatted with my RE about my meds. Friday night my coordinator said to cut my PIO from 2 cc to 1 cc and she discontinued my delestrogen shots. I also had my OB order the estrogen and progesterone test.

Estradiol 1510
Progesterone 52.8

So higher numbers. Yesterday, I chatted again with my coordinator at the RE's office and they put me down to 1 estrace (vs 3) per day for seven days and took my PIO down to .5 cc for seven days...then done. I'll be between 11 and 12 weeks pregnant, so she said the placenta will be working in full force.

So, now we wait for the phone call and for our NT scan next Thursday. We're creeping toward second tri and I'm excited to hopefully get a bit more energy and leave this crud behind. :) I'm just thrilled the baby is doing well!

10 weeks pregnant

April 7, 2016

10 weeks preggers today! I went in for my check up yesterday and good news, it seems the SCH seems to have been reabsorbed. My OB's equipment isn't super high tech, so we'll have the technician at my NT scan in two weeks look more carefully.

The baby looks great thought. He/she was moving all around, tossing it's little arms about. It was funny, some shots looked like a little teddy bear or gummy bear...then we snapped this one. My hubby had to picstitch it together. We're calling this little babe our badger.


My doctor seems very happy. My husband and I just can't wrap our heads around how quickly the baby grows and changes. It's absolutely amazing and such a miracle. From a tiny dot to this in just a few short weeks. 

Tomorrow I go in for my genetics appointment and we are taking the NIPT to check for any genetic issues and gender. I feel very calm everything will be fine with this baby. He/she is quite the fighter. Nice and strong from the start. Hopefully we will hear back when they get the results versus making us wait until the 12 week NT scan, but either way, we will know in two weeks.

My son loves the little photos of our little "snowflake badger." The OB snapped five of them because she kept getting cute little ones, one with his/her arms crossed another looking like a giant teddy. Adorable.

The morning sickness seems worse. I just feel so icky 24/7. I emailed my RE with the results from yesterday. My OB didn't want to run another estradiol and progesterone test since we were at 10 weeks and she felt the placenta would be in full swing by now, but agreed if he wanted another test, she'd put it in. I'm waiting to hear back. I know his office usually starts tapering meds at 8 weeks and I'm at 10 now. We'll see if I'll be putting in a refill or not.

Other than that, nothing new to report. I gained 2 lbs so that is good. I'm 1/2 lb heavier than at transfer, so at least I've made my weight back. I'm getting to the point where I just look like I've eaten a gigantic meal. Not really showing, just bloated a bit. I'll have to start transitioning into maternity or more forgiving pants in a few weeks I'm sure.

So, tomorrow, on to the blood test! They'll also be running my iron and liver levels. I've hemochromatosis so they want to ensure they monitor them during the pregnancy. My iron is always super high, but last time by the time I gave birth it was lowered quite a bit, which is good.

God Bless!

9 weeks 1 day

April 1, 2016

Happy April Fools' Day! One year ago today (not funny) I had my meeting with my current RE for a consult and was told in no uncertain terms it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to get pregnant on my own. I left discouraged, but having left my name on their embryo donor list.

At the time we were still uncertain if that was the answer for us, and my husband was really struggling with the decision, but we knew it was something we were seriously considering and it couldn't hurt to put our names down. Fast forward one month when we made the final decision to actively pursue it and I let our coordinator know and she said she tentatively had embryos for us.

It's been a year of a lot of ups and downs, a lot of tears and laughter, but here we are. Pregnant! A few years ago I didn't even know embryo donation or adoption was a possibility. Thank God for miracles!

I'm getting excited. Next week we take our blood test to find out if we are having another boy or a little girl. Our son is still 100% wanting a girl, nothing to do with a boy. We shall see if he will be thrilled or we'll have several months of convincing him how cool a brother will be.

I'm exhausted. There's really no way around it. I feel sick most the day and am just dragging. I know that's common with first tri. I sometimes wonder if it's amplified from all the meds since I'm getting meds and I know the placenta is starting to produce on it's own as well. Is the doubling up making me feel more sick?

I'm still taking my estrogen three times a day and am taking 2 ml of progesterone in my shot every night, estrogen third nights. I know the doctor said he'd most likely start to wean me off after 8 weeks and we're here at 9. I was reading morning sickness is strongest weeks 8-10 and that certainly seems to be the case. We'll see if they start to lesson my drugs after my 10 week appointment. Until then, I'm kind of staggering through this. I know it gets better. I keep reminding myself with my son the first tri was brutal, but I loved the rest of pregnancy. I keep getting upset with myself and saying "You should be happy! You should be thrilled!" And I am!! But, oh man, I do have my moments of thinking, "I forgot how awful first tri was..."

I've an appointment next Weds with my OB, Friday with genetics to do my blood test and I've my NT scan scheduled for the 20th I believe. Crazy it's all coming up so quickly.

I haven't had any more issues with bleeding. I'm hoping my ultrasound next week reveals the SCH was reabsorbed. :)

God Bless!

7 weeks 6 days

March 23, 2016

Off to the doctor today and all looks good. Our little bean is measuring on target and has a good heart beat of 157.

I headed in for the nurse visit a bit early and had to do an automated informational gathering on a computer. It all got interesting when it started asking my history and my husbands. I was trying to explain to the nurse it really had no bearing on the baby. When we got to ethnicity it really got interesting. "Should I put African American?" Blank stare.

"You're white."

 "I understand, but the genetic mother was African American and Caucasion, so if you are trying to figure out if you need to run certain genetic markers that are prevalent in the African American community, you do."

The nurse was clueless. "Um, You're white, so put white."

Sure. I put father as African American so it's noted in the file ;)

Next, we took my blood pressure, 103/55. My blood pressure is always a bit low. No surprise there. Weight, 103 lbs...so I lost weight. Honestly, not hugely surprised. I force myself to eat throughout the day, but certainly not feeling it.

My hubby and I strolled into the examination room and they had me undress completely and put the all so glamorous tie in the back robe on. After listening to an obscenely long video on the risks of birth defects and the genetic screenings, the doctor came in.

She asked about setting up my genetic screening, but I told her I didn't think it'd work because of the donor embryo so she set up a genetic counseling. I told her from my research the only test on the market suitable for donor eggs or embryos was Maternit21. Apparently this is covered by my insurance, but I have to call and get the 411 on the price. I called the company myself and they said I could have it done third party and pay them directly, so if that is the cheaper option, I'll go that route. My OB said she couldn't order it outside of Kaiser, but fortunately my RE already agreed to.

Next, she ordered a LOT of blood tests. She also threw in my estradoil and progesterone so I didn't have to drive an hour tomorrow morning and PAY to have those hormones checked. I love my OB. Same one that I had for prenatal care with my son. She also looked over my record and said my thyroid was a bit high last time - very much in normal ranges, but too high for pregnancy, so we are having that checked to head off any issues.

Because of my "advanced maternal age" ahem, 37 at deliver, I am considered high risk. Pair that with a history of infertility and the SCH, I'm firmly in that category.  I'm not phased by that though. In my eyes, that equals extra monitoring covered by my insurance. All good by me. I want to make sure all goes well. I had low amniotic fluid last pregnancy, so I want to make sure that is monitored as well.

She then checked my cervix, felt my abdomen and off we go with the ultrasound. And TWO sacs show up. WHAT?!?!? "Whoa whoa whoa" she said, "It's the machine. It's a mirror image. Not twins."

Husband - DEEP SIGH OF RELIEF.

The nurse switched out the probe and apparently, it was a defective probe because we were back to a singleton pregnancy. The baby was noticeably bigger today and we saw that little flicker of a heartbeat. She turned it on so we could hear. That sound never gets old.

At first when she measured the baby looked 7 weeks 3 days, but she found a clearer angle and 7 weeks 6 days, right on target. She also searched for the SCH and there it was. She kind of maneuvered the probe around to get a better angle and the best measurement she could get was 2.43 cm. She told me it'd most likely be reabsorbed into the body eventually.

I asked if there was heightened risk and she pretty much said, if you were going to lose the baby, you'd have lost it. The baby survived the first bleed so chances are VERY slim you'll have any issues going forward. She also mentioned if it was a large SCH she'd be more alarmed, but since it's smaller, she thinks it'll be fine.

Although she didn't have the measurements of the first and second u/s, I did bring in the hard copy for her and she thought it looks noticeably smaller from the first one.

She told me I didn't have to be on bedrest, but that I will be on pelvic rest (sorry hubby, no sex) could not lift more than 20 lbs, should avoid running and exercise and try not to over exert myself. I asked if walking was ok and she kind of paused and said ok, but to limit it to 15-20 min of a casual stroll. No fast walking.

So, my life feels more normal again. I still want to keep reminding myself to take it easy though. I'm kind of an overachiever and I'm well aware this is NOT the time to be so. When I called my mom to update her she kept saying "don't over do it. A messy house is ok. Not cooking dinner every night is ok. Putting your feet up is ok."

So, my next appointment is in two weeks. Typically, it's four weeks, but with the SCH she does want to monitor it carefully, so I'm appreciate of the extra monitoring. AND, best part, that means I can skip the 10 week out of pocket appointment with the RE. My OB also put in a script for progesterone for me. It'll take 1-2 weeks for them to compound, but if I still need it at that point, I can switch to a covered med.

From there off to the lab. I had to do the 1 hr glucose test (which I passed with flying colors) but choking down that horrid orange drink is just disgusting. Especially when you are queasy to start. When I stood up, I almost threw up and the lab tech said "If you throw up you have to drink another one and start over." Deep breaths - out to the sunshine. I laid on the grass for 45 minutes and chatted with my mom on the phone.

Back inside I went. They drew 12 vials of blood and I was done for the day. So now, I wait. I emailed my coordinator at the fertility clinic my u/s photo and the measurement of the SCH and will send her my estradiol and progesterone tomorrow.

I had to go get my son from school. The first time I've stepped out my front door in two weeks and the furthest I've walked. And it was WONDERFUL! Sun was shining, fresh air....ahhhhhh!

The one other thing my doctor stressed was eating. Somehow I've actually lost weight instead of gained any since transfer and am down to 103. Not ideal starting technically "underweight" to begin with. I just have such a hard time eating right now. I feel so ill every time I put something in my mouth. She suggested upping my B6 to 25mg twice a day instead of once and I've a feeling if I don't gain by 10 weeks she will prescribe medication...I really don't want that. I don't like meds to begin and while pregnant, no thanks. As I down all my fertility meds...hmpfh.

So, all in all. Baby looks great. Couch rest is lifted to just taking it easy and I'm just so peaceful tonight after seeing that little bean growing so well in there. It's barely 8:30 and I am EXHAUSTED though so off to take my shot for the night and head to bed.

God bless!