Blessed

Feb. 10, 2016

Today I am an overemotional, sappy, crying mess. But, today, I can't blame the meds. Well, maybe I'll blame the meds for the extra snot bubbles, gasps of air and overall magnitude of how I reacted.

There is a mom group that I've been blessed to be a part of since I was pregnant with my son. There's been highs and lows, births and deaths, disagreements, excitement, laughter and tears. I've had the good fortune of meeting some of these women outside the group here local to me and on a trip to MI 12 of us strong got together with all our little ones. And everyone, everyone is as amazing as I've thought they would be through knowing them in cyberspace. Many of them, I haven't had the good fortune to meet...yet.

Today, I literally broke down in big heaping sobs. These women got together and raised $850 for me. Somehow, someway, they not only did it from within the group, but from my personal friends and family as well. As I was reading through the list, I saw my sister, best friend and friend from highschool who I know also has had her share of heartbreak with infertility. The money, don't get me wrong is awesome. And, I'm so grateful for it, and it does relieve so much stress, but the sentiment behind it...I cannot even put into words. I'm crying again. Let me get a hold of myself...

The sweet gesture of them to do this and to write such loving, supportive things. I know so many of these ladies have their own trials, tribulations, angst or hardships...for them to come together and support me, I just, I have no words.

From day one when I was diagnosed, it was this group I turned to. Every tear, they comforted me, made me laugh, gave me courage to try the next step. It's amazing to me that a group of women, the majority I've never met have become such a strong part of my life. This was the group of kick ass (pardon my language) women that I turned to. They were there before all the support groups. They were there when my husband just didn't know how to react or comfort me. They were there when my own personal friends and family didn't know about this yet or were at a loss what to say or do. These women. These women are fabulous. If I could go to every single one of them and give them a giant, snotty faced hug, I would.

Tomorrow I head in for my final appointment before transfer. I head in knowing 176 women strong are praying and hoping and wishing me the best. That's powerful. For that, I am grateful. For that, I am blessed.

God bless!

8dp5dt

Nov. 24, 2015

Well, day 8 here. And NO, I haven't tested since day 5. lol I'm getting texts, calls, messages. We've such a great support network. I think I'm driving everyone mad. But, way too much riding on this for me. I just have no desire to test yet. I pray multiple times a day for God to just reveal the time I should. I know that sounds silly to some people, but I just need to be in a peaceful place.

Yesterday I did however start cramping again. After not having symptoms for four days, it was actually a welcome sign. I'm not sure what cramps mean that far after transfer - good or bad, but to feel like "something" was going on felt good.

When I dropped my son to school I kept getting little shooting pains on my lower left side or my uterus area. They'd come and go, but it got to feel more crampy throughout the day.

I had a lot of fun. I was able to go in for my son's lunch time yesterday to hang with him and bring his birthday treats for class. He was so proud to have me there. He warms my heart so. He did raise his shirt halfway through lunch and scream across the classroom "Mommy, my baby's in my belly." I've a feeling his teachers will know RIGHT away about this pregnancy :)

I hit a vein for the first time last night. I was giving the shot to myself and I did the little pullback trick and everything. I didn't really see blood, but when I removed the needle, it POURED out of me. Argh. I hope some of the meds got in me. I DID see blood in the syringe when I pulled it out. Oops. I guess I need to pull back further to draw the blood farther to see? Well, learn as I go I suppose.

It's a Tuesday, so my son is home from school - he only goes to preschool M/W/F so we're going to head to the park. I suppose I should go to the store this morning and get some Thanksgiving stuff - YIKES Thanksgiving snuck up! Thankfully I'm not cooking for our family until Friday so that baby will have time to thaw. I told my husband I'm not certain how I'm suppose to lift the turkey since it's over my "required" weight limit, but I'm sure I'll be fine.

I'm not sure how much I buy that don't lift anything anyways. I get right after transfer, but the reality is women have been lifting stuff from the beginning of time. I know pregnancy makes ligaments looser and women more prone to injury, but I've found nothing in my research how it can hurt a baby or prevent implantation. I'm trying to listen to my doctor and not lift though. My son is getting much better at understanding I can't lift him. We just do extra snuggling on the couch and floor.

Well, wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I'm sure I'll update again before then.

God bless!

BFN and Why That Makes Me Happy!

Aug. 18, 2014

Happy? Well, kind of. I took my obligatory pregnancy test that I take every few weeks waiting for my period to start and it was stark white. In the TTC world, that's awful. However, when you've been staring at phantom fake out "positive" lines for the past few months knowing your hormones are out of whack, all white means my body has stabilized. So, hoping the next one I get is the real deal!

My temp spiked again today, so I'm not quite sure that is about. I did have restless sleep. The first night in a long time actually, but it had more to do with my waking every ten minutes thinking I was late to my audition and didn't have my lines memorized. So, not POF related. Completely my overactive mind on that one.

So, we'll see how my temps progress. Could have been a fluke from waking so much. Could have been that I actually did ovulate last Tuesday. It's a crap shoot. I'll keep you posted.