Sept. 16, 2015
Well, we have a few communication glitches in the embryo adoption world. Nothing major. The highlights were this. The embryos were NOT tested. Bummer, but ok. Our donors want complete anonymity, but were also refusing to give any medical background.
This really bummed me out and I've appealed to them through our coordinator to change that. I know they want to be anonymous, but I know nothing from a medical record if I don't have the person to apply it to. There is no context. My feeling is, every doctor's appointment I've ever gone to they ask me my and my family's medical history. I want to be the best advocate for our future child or children and I can't do that with no information about them.
I used the example of my POF and HRT with my coordinator. HRT is recommended, but after knowing my grandma and two aunts have all had breast cancer, even my doctors agreed treating in a different method made the most sense. I also used the example of my hemochromatosis. Not knowing I had that, if I would have taken prenatal pills with iron I may have harmed myself and potentially the baby. I think my coordinator understood my hesitation and has said she'd discuss it further with the donor. I told her I could care less about the physical descriptions, but a basic medical history, I felt, was imperative.
We did get some info on the egg donor they had used, so I was glad they released some of that, but again, no family medical history was disclosed.
The other issue we are dealing with now is the clinic still wants a contract, but the donor has already remitted the embryos to them, so we have no one to form a contract with. I've spoken with an attorney and they've advised me the clinic can issue us a standard release and a donation contract not only is not needed, but not possible without the second party. We shall see how the clinic responds.
I did ask them if the other couple that is receiving any of the embryos would like to have any further contract should both of us have children from the group. I think it'd be a nice option for the kids to meet on down the line.
So, we are basically, once again in a holding pattern. Waiting to be advised on legal clearance. Waiting if we can appeal for further medical history. Waiting to be told what medical tests I need to take. My coordinator guessed a November cycle. Honestly, I know the clearance, even if drafted by a lawyer can be done in an hour and my medical test results are done within 24-48 hrs, so I think this could all move much faster than anticipated. She said the other couple needed to cycle first...why, I don't know. I feel like if four embryos are assigned to them, three to us, we shouldn't be tied with each other as far as cycling goes.
Each embryo is in it's own straw so she said we could transfer 1, 2 or 3 depending on how they thaw. I said flat out no more than two.
Other than that, I'm going to try and sneak away to acupuncture tomorrow since we have a birthday party on Saturday. Hopefully things are improving. I'm still getting constant positives on my OPKs and HPTs which is frustrating and makes me feel things are still a bit awry.
I also opened a Bravelets page. Basically, it's jewelry to offer inspiration. We get $10 from each purchase for our medical bills. I love the story behind the page. If you want to buy anything to offer support to us, yourself or other families embarking on the adoption journey or needing help and inspiration through other trials, tribulations or health crises, it's a wonderful program.
You can check it out HERE and click the fundraise link at the top to open your own page to help offset expenses.
I'll keep you posted as things unfold.
God Bless!
Well, we have a few communication glitches in the embryo adoption world. Nothing major. The highlights were this. The embryos were NOT tested. Bummer, but ok. Our donors want complete anonymity, but were also refusing to give any medical background.
This really bummed me out and I've appealed to them through our coordinator to change that. I know they want to be anonymous, but I know nothing from a medical record if I don't have the person to apply it to. There is no context. My feeling is, every doctor's appointment I've ever gone to they ask me my and my family's medical history. I want to be the best advocate for our future child or children and I can't do that with no information about them.
I used the example of my POF and HRT with my coordinator. HRT is recommended, but after knowing my grandma and two aunts have all had breast cancer, even my doctors agreed treating in a different method made the most sense. I also used the example of my hemochromatosis. Not knowing I had that, if I would have taken prenatal pills with iron I may have harmed myself and potentially the baby. I think my coordinator understood my hesitation and has said she'd discuss it further with the donor. I told her I could care less about the physical descriptions, but a basic medical history, I felt, was imperative.
We did get some info on the egg donor they had used, so I was glad they released some of that, but again, no family medical history was disclosed.
The other issue we are dealing with now is the clinic still wants a contract, but the donor has already remitted the embryos to them, so we have no one to form a contract with. I've spoken with an attorney and they've advised me the clinic can issue us a standard release and a donation contract not only is not needed, but not possible without the second party. We shall see how the clinic responds.
I did ask them if the other couple that is receiving any of the embryos would like to have any further contract should both of us have children from the group. I think it'd be a nice option for the kids to meet on down the line.
So, we are basically, once again in a holding pattern. Waiting to be advised on legal clearance. Waiting if we can appeal for further medical history. Waiting to be told what medical tests I need to take. My coordinator guessed a November cycle. Honestly, I know the clearance, even if drafted by a lawyer can be done in an hour and my medical test results are done within 24-48 hrs, so I think this could all move much faster than anticipated. She said the other couple needed to cycle first...why, I don't know. I feel like if four embryos are assigned to them, three to us, we shouldn't be tied with each other as far as cycling goes.
Each embryo is in it's own straw so she said we could transfer 1, 2 or 3 depending on how they thaw. I said flat out no more than two.
Other than that, I'm going to try and sneak away to acupuncture tomorrow since we have a birthday party on Saturday. Hopefully things are improving. I'm still getting constant positives on my OPKs and HPTs which is frustrating and makes me feel things are still a bit awry.
I also opened a Bravelets page. Basically, it's jewelry to offer inspiration. We get $10 from each purchase for our medical bills. I love the story behind the page. If you want to buy anything to offer support to us, yourself or other families embarking on the adoption journey or needing help and inspiration through other trials, tribulations or health crises, it's a wonderful program.
You can check it out HERE and click the fundraise link at the top to open your own page to help offset expenses.
I'll keep you posted as things unfold.
God Bless!
No comments:
Post a Comment