First Monitoring Visit

  Edit: I never published this blog post for fear people would read it before I was ready. After our transfer was negative, I never wanted to publish it, but I've always been transparent about our journey, so feel I should... It still hurts.

Nov. 17, 2022

Well, we're a go. I went in last week for my endometrial scratch. I loaded up on 600 mg of ibuprofen first this time and for the lady who pretty much avoids meds at all cost, I'm telling you, do it. I barely felt it this time. A pinch and a bit of a scratch but NOTHING like the pain I endured last time. 

Side note, my parents were in town and can't even make this up, as I was going out to my appointment my mom pulled out two ornaments that had been on my late grandma's tree. They were snowflakes. I didn't even think about it until my husband walked in and gave me the look. What a coincidence, or gentle message ;)

I met with my coordinator who gave me my scrip. I priced things out on GoodRX and all the fertility pharmacies I could find. The delestrogen, estrace, medrol, PIO and Lovenox (all generics) were WAY cheaper through GoodRx. If you don't use it, start. I learned about GoodRX Plus after the fact. If we get a positive, I'll enroll to see if the savings are worth it to continue.

I did order the endometrin from my clinic. They had the best price in the states. I did find an online pharmacy ivfpharmacy.com however I know not all clinics will allow you to order meds from out of country. They appear legit though and several people I know used them. They are all FDA approved meds. 

I started my period Monday the 14th and went in on the 15th for my first monitoring visit. All good to go. Lining was 4.9, estrogen <5 and progesterone .65. Started my estrace and delestrogen. Still pretty good at giving myself shots in the rear apparently ;) I was grateful my nurse ordered shorter needles for me.

Now, we just keep trucking along. Back to the clinic on Monday for my second monitoring visit. I guess they do a third then a fourth the day before transfer. That was new for me, but makes sense. Busy drinking my POM juice, NingXia Red and Red Raspberry leaf tea. 

My husband and I are trying not to get too excited, but those feelings can't help creeping in....

Here. We. Go.

 Edit: I never published this blog post for fear people would read it before I was ready. After our transfer was negative, I never wanted to publish it, but I've always been transparent about our journey, so feel I should... It still hurts.

Nov 4, 2022

I'm excited and nervous and scared and so many emotions right now. I won't hit publish on this until much later I am sure - we don't want any unsolicited opinions...but we are a go for transfer.

For over a year now, we've been grappling with what we should do. We'd reached out to our clinic on numerous occasions with no answer over the last few years. We thought our one remaining embryo had been donated, but a little over a year ago we were billed...in fact we were billed for five years. We got lost in the system. Apparently, there was a clerical error. No one knew we had an embryo left. It wasn't until we were billed and sent to collections that anyone was aware. Not the clinic. Not our coordinator. Not the doctor. Not their billing department. Not us.

Long story short, the clinic was apologetic and put a hold on our collections and any money due until we decided what to do. I had a consult last spring with the doctor and we checked everything was in working order. I had labs run at my personal doctor and a sonohysterogram to ensure everything looked good. Everything was good, but we were in the process of figuring out our living situation. Our landlords of 13 years were selling and stress was at an all time high.

This summer we started reevaluating again. It was left with both of us go into a lot of prayer. This evening, my husband who had been hesitant sat down and flat out said, that baby is ours. Call the clinic. Let's go next steps. It works or doesn't, but it is in God's hands. That baby is ours. For here or for eternity - that is for God to decide.

So, off we go. I emailed our coordinator. We will see if I have to repeat any tests since it's been over six months, but I feel at peace. Finally, I feel at peace. The last year and a half, I have been on edge, stressed and anxious. I knew in the bottom of my soul this baby was ours. I tried to look at it financially, practically, at my age, everything, but it has been a resounding THIS BABY IS YOURS from God no matter the way I looked at it. For my husband, the one who was most hesitant, to come forward with 100% certainty, cemented it.

I know it sounds insane, but this morning I put on a blend of essential oil called "Hope" and I said God, if it's meant to be it will be. I need an answer. I could not believe when my husband sat down and said the transfer, we need to do it. That baby is ours. If it works it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't, but we will know we did everything we could. I cannot fathom a life without S in it, and I cannot fathom a life not knowing we didn't try for this child too.

God is good. All in HIS hands. If it doesn't work, I've two amazing kids and am blessed. If it works, we will be blessed. God. Is. Good. Always.