Better and Better!

Dec. 20, 2014

Well, it was back to acupuncture today and it was a resounding "hung how." Or, "very good?" She was thrilled. My pulses are better and better and both my TCM and her husband (partner in business who translates) were extremely pleased my period had returned in a normal cycle.

My cycle last month was 35 days and I had four "normal" days of blood flow and one day spotting today. When I say normal, it was well within the normal range of blood loss and lasted the appropriate amount of days. My periods up until now have been rather light blood loss. If you are curious, I looked it up. The average woman loses 4-12 tsp per cycle and bleeds about 3-5 days.

My guess is I lost on the lower end of that around 5-6 tsp and bled for a full four days, spotted one. How do I know? Another thing the menstrual cup is good for...measuring blood loss. I only used it half my cycle though and collected about 3 tsp, so I'm guessing it was around 6 tsp total lost.

My acupuncture today was nearly painless. She also skipped the spot she normally pokes on my thighs. I meant to ask her why, but completely forgot. It was nice to relax though. My son, normally an early riser decided to wake at 4:30 today. I stubbornly got it set in my mind I was not going to go in the room until 6 am. And wouldn't you believe he played, sang and talked to his stuffed animals for an hour and 15 minutes. At 5:45 he fell back asleep until just after 7, but of course I couldn't sleep worth squat. Shutting my eyes for 45 minutes during my session was heavenly.

Afterwards, she just kept saying "hung how, hung how" which if you missed my previous blogs in my pitiful American attempt at phonetically saying "very good" in Chinese.

We also had a bit of a scare the other night. Two men tried to kick in our door. Scary stuff! Thankfully, they took off when my husband went towards the door. The cracked the entire frame in half though. Yikes!

Well, as I sit and type I've a castor oil pack on my stomach to get that blood moving. I've felt great the last month! I'm really hoping this cycle was the start of all good things. I did decide to start taking shatavari root again. It's support to nourish your endocrine system and alleviate stress. Another one of those foods that really help your body regulate by prodding it along. Here is a link if you care to read more here.

Tonight is our Christmas. I just spent the last several hours getting everything perfect for Santa. I hope my son is thrilled in the morning.

I've really been reflecting on Nerida Walker and her message of resting in fruitfulness. And, I have. I had planned to temp up until I left, but I packed up my BBT thermometer. I'll resume when I return to have an accurate account to show my TCM, but it's a bit liberating to just take a break. I did take an OPK this morning to see how my resting LH was. Although it's a bit darker line than the average woman probably has this early in her cycle, it was negative, and that is what is important to me.

Well, if I don't get back on before Christmas....

Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanza
Happy Holidays!

POF, Ovulating and Periods

Dec. 17, 2014

Turns out, I did ovulate, and ovulated in a big way! Yesterday I started a proper period, as in, adequate flow, right color, semi normal time frame of 35 days! My chart is a bit spotty in that I don't know if I had a short LP (luteal phase) of 6-7 days or a long one of over 18. My guess is the shorter, but I have a pretty heavy bleed for such a short one. Either way, drastic improvement from my last 164 day cycle with several weeks of brown spotting. No spotting here. I got a swipe of pink the night before right before bed and woke to a bright stream.

Initially, I was falling into my depressed state, but I snapped out of it quickly. In order to get pregnant, I need my body to normalize. A regular length cycle with the proper temperature shifts, symptoms and blood flow is an excellent indication that is exactly what is happening.

I will admit (thank you God) that I do think it is my complete release to faith that has made the largest difference. I prayed about what I could physically do, and I've done it. So non-believers can choose to think those are the catalyst, but it came from some deep soul searching and prayer.

I did my castor oil packs until the first time I thought I ovulated, as well as my pelvic fertility massage, soaking my feet a couple nights in hot water and my fertility yoga, although not as often as I should have.

The rest was the same in terms of care except the cycle before this midway I had added maca and vitex back in the mix. I think that does a lot of self regulating and I'm convinced it played a large part in my cycle stabilizing. I'm definitely continuing with that.

I usually make maca balls because even the smell of maca makes me want to vomit. The taste is just horrendous. Here is the recipe I use.

Maca Truffles

When I travel at Christmas, I found some organic maca pills. I won't continue that because the price works out to be more than the homemade truffles, but click the link in case the ease of it is better than making maca truffles.

Now, I measured out how much maca is in the truffles. Based on the 1/2 cup serving and the amount I make, it equals out to be about 1 tsp per truffle so roughly 3000 mg. The pills are 500 mg. People suggest starting with small doses. Maca is an energizer, so if you take them, take them early in the day. Like Ubiquinol or CoQ10, it can keep you up at night, especially if you already are predisposed to insomnia from POF.

I'll head back to acupuncture on Saturday. I think they will be pleased with my news. I know they'd mentioned last time my pulses keep getting better and better and they anticipated I'd get my period this week. Then, it's off for a vacation with family, so I'll skip the following week of acupuncture.

I debated contacting my doctor again to get a true CD3 reading tomorrow, because my last one was actually immediately before ovulation. My FSH was in the 40s, 48 I believe which is still POF range, but if it was midcycle (which it was) it no longer is. In fact, below 40s in no longer considered POF, but POI which is Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. With POI, RE's and fertility specialists will actually work with you. We don't have insurance coverage for that, but it's good to know.

I opted not to contact her. I think she'd hassle me a bit for having my levels checked so soon and I don't want to get into the whole reason why I think it was where it was because my doctors seem to just get frustrated with my researching or asking questions. As much as she was more considerate than the last I met with, my overall impression is doctors just want to diagnosis me and move on and would rather I just accept the diagnosis and not question them.

I know I'm healing. I know my cycle is normalizing and honestly, having the number isn't going to change anything. I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. I can ask her again in six months, but I rather that visit be a prenatal one anyway ;)

I've already decided my thermometer is staying here when we leave for Christmas vacation. I'll resume temping when I get home. It may throw me a curve ball, but I'm starting to get a handle on the ranges my temps should be before O and after. I just don't want to worry about temping with time changes, later and earlier rising, etc. I just want to enjoy the time with my family.

Yesterday was an amazing day. We took our son to Disneyland for his birthday/Christmas. It was my husband and my first time as well. It was an amazing day. He LOVED it! He loves Mickey and was so thrilled to see his Clubhouse gang. I dare say he has a crush in Minnie. He loved giving all the characters "high bie" aka high five. He was particularly taken with "Plupu" aka Pluto.

It's times like those I just repeat over and over "thank you thank you thank you" for all the blessings I have. I am so grateful for my life and my family. I know our family will be growing soon.

God bless!

Perhaps the big "O"

Dec. 13, 2014

Still in limbo here, but that shouldn't be shocking ;)

My chart is actually pretty interesting. I had a temp hike which came down for seven days (the open circle, I temped late) and shot back up. The first hike was during a cold, which is what I am attributing it to. Right now, no cold, so perhaps I did ovulate. Take a peek.

I was back to acupuncture today. My TCM seemed pleased with my progress. I did talk to them a bit about my treatment in regards to financials. Like so many others, we're hurting. Without going into boring detail, every where we turn, it's hitting us hard. Realistically, I cannot continue treatment the same way and put food on the table. 

On the flip side, I feel it's important that I do take care of myself physically. Yes, it costs money, but left untreated, this disease could potentially kill me either directly or indirectly. I feel like I've healed so much and come so far, and I do not feel like this is permanent. I think it was a reflection of my life at that time. Stress, toxins, exhaustion. All no bueno! I do feel like if I can get things operational again, I'll run like a well oiled machine ;)

I asked them if we could cut my herbs in half so I could trim my bill. After a long discussion in Chinese that left me looking from one to the other and back again, they told me they think the best course of action is to take a full dose, but do it every other day. They think it will be most potent in full, but dispersed like that, it should still be effective. They said what is most important is that I continue the acupuncture which has served me greatest. My pulse is always dramatically better after. Her words were "better and better."

My session today was fine. It strikes me as funny what points are sensitive some days and others I barely feel at all. The needles near my hair line and on my feet today were sensitive. Going in, the needles on my reproductive organs weren't all that painful, but within minutes I started getting shooting cramps. I asked her if that was ok. "Cramps, yes. Pain, no." Since they were just cramps, I think it was the blood flow moving and energy shifting. All good.

I was a bit nervous going in because I didn't sleep well. My poor son came down with another cold and woke up several times last night. He always put himself back to sleep within minutes, but typically mommy that I am, I slept like crap listening to every cough, sniffle and movement from his direction. I'm praying my husband and I don't get this one. The last one was pretty nasty and with us traveling for Christmas, we want us all healthy.

I did read an interesting article that someone posted in a POF support group. As I turned to Google, I see it's being done more and more, but here you go...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-75473/How-ovaries-grow-arm.html

It talks about how a women's ovary was grafted into her arm. They put it near the muscle to get adequate blood flow, and this ovary cycles every month growing follicles. They remove the eggs for future IVF. Isn't it fascinating that given the correct blood flow these ovaries are working? In her arm?? It really made me think how much good acupuncture does for our reproductive organs. Acupuncture stimulates blood flow. 

For people that don't have that service readily available, there are things like Castor Oil Packs, fertility yoga, fertility massage, etc that can also get your blood flow moving to your reproductive organs. Ensuring you have a healthy diet is important because the junk we eat makes our system sluggish, and regularly exercising (stimulating blood flow) also help. If an ovary can work in your arm, or abdomen (as they are also doing) it can certainly work where God placed it given the right environment.

Monday, I'm back to the chiropractor. I had rescheduled my monthly appointment to six weeks so I'm hoping my body responds well to the session. Then, I've that tough talk with his as well regarding what I can afford. I want to try to push it to every 6-8 weeks. Cutting that expense in half will be easier to swallow, but still keep my body on track.

On a very sad note, a woman that I'm "friends" with in a Facebook support group lost her baby today at 41 weeks. I cannot even fathom that kind of devastation. To make it all through a pregnancy, be expecting to come home with your child any day, and have them find no heart beat at a scheduled appointment. It makes my stomach drop. And, to have to go through the labor and delivery... If you can spare some prayers for her and her family, I'd be most appreciative. 

Well, I should turn in for the night. We'll see how my temps look over the next week. I'm cautiously optimistic. As always, God Bless!

Renewed Hope

Dec. 7, 2014

I love the Christmas season! What a wonderful weekend. My son and I were busy crafting and playing yesterday and today was full of church, Christmas festivities and a kid's concert and church and meal. During the service, we were studying Luke and the story of the angel Gabriel visiting Mary to tell her that she would conceive Jesus. In that story, is the story of Elisabeth (Luke 1:7-1:24) who was barren and advanced in age, but became pregnant with John the Baptist. I started tearing up a bit because again, as the bible says 

"Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle.: Deuteronomy 7:14

Heck, if God can give a baby to a virgin, he sure can make my ovaries squeeze out an egg, am I right?

It gives me renewed hope.

Yesterday was back to my TCM. I felt really bad because her father had passed away. I hugged her as she arrived and she began tearing up.

She felt my pulses and was pleased they were feeling stronger. According to my tongue, she could see I still had a touch of my cold. I'd stopped my herbs at the onset, so I still had a lot left. She too looked at my chart and saw a clear ovulation pattern. The problem is, now, I'm starting to doubt if it was ovulation, or perhaps slightly elevated temperatures from when I was sick. If the temps do indicate ovulation, it shows my period should be coming with the temp drop (most likely.) However, I still think it's weird I've had all fertile sings in every other area (cm, cervix position, OPKs) so I'm really not convinced I ovulated, despite the beautiful chart.

Pretty picture perfect, right? It would show a normal length LP phase (although, even if this "is" an accurate chart, I'm still thinking my actual ovulation date would be CD17) a pretty normal ovulation date, good raise of temp indicating good progesterone... We'll see. 

At my session she told me to drink more water. I drink an insane amount already, but alrighty, I'll keep on. She also told me I could begin my herbs again. During acupuncture she put a new needle in and when I asked what it was for she told me my cough. I still had a lingering tickle. During my whole session, not one cough. Pretty amazing.

And it was PAINFUL with a all capitals. Youch! The ones on my reproductive organs were insanely painful, especially my left ovary. It was a take my breath away poke! My legs and feet were also incredibly sensitive. She remarked I was extra sensitive today. Was I ever! It was kind of nice though, she let me lay there for a full hour, so I got to unwind and relax. It's been hectic, so I treasured the extra time.

I was a bit worried my cold would make me go backwards in treatment, which my body seems to do when anything is haywire, but she said I'm still gradually improving, to just keep what I'm doing.

Last night, oddly enough, I had a dream I had twins. It was a long dream figuring out how to nurse them both, but that's my practical mind at work ;) 

I will say, I've felt kind of "icky" the last few days because I've felt extremely bloated. My pants feel tight (and no it wasn't Thanksgiving catching up on me!!) and I got a few pimples, which is a first for a long time. My thought is, although as ucky as it makes me feel, it's hormones at work. Sooooo, my body making hormones equals good things.

For now, I'm just trying to focus on the holidays and treasure my family time. The reality is, no sense paying too much attention to my chart or cycle because I can't "change" it. I can just keep healthy and keep plugging along. I'm feeling great. Sleeping well. I've been focused, in good spirits and don't have any "symptoms" so I'm thankful.

God bless!

CD23 Update

Dec. 3, 2014

December already?? Gulp! How did that happen?

Well, that means we are in our 15th month of TTC. A bit unreal. I never thought I'd be that statistic.

Christmas is fast approaching and I'm feeling the holiday spirit :) I'm looking forward to visiting my family over the holidays. I've already decided I'm leaving my BBT thermometer here when we go. Those ten days will be a mystery, but I want to obsessing and trying to calculator time differences and agonizing over false heightened or false low temps because of it.

Which brings me to my update. Well, I'm CD23. According to my temps, it looks like ovulation on CD17 to me, but Fertility Friend insists on CD15. My OPKs remained positive after though (which I stopped taking on CD21 because I felt it was useless) and I had a bit of fertile CM and my cervix felt open...sooooo....back to the waiting game. Temps it was a very obvious thermal shift, other signs, not so much.

I have been nursing a cold which may have elevated my temp slightly, but I feel like it would have elevated it sooner when it started. So, I'm either 6DPO, 8DPO or not at all. Ha! Not much for clarifying there, eh?

Anyhow, I hope everyone had an incredible Thanksgiving here in the states. My in-laws were in town and it was nice to have some family time. My mother-in-law was going to go to acupuncture with me on Friday, but my TCM called last minute. Unfortunately, her father is in critical condition health wise, so lift them in prayer. I haven't called this week yet to see about rescheduling, but if I don't hear by Friday, I'll check in again. I have enough herbs to last another week because I stopped them when I got a cold.

I also rescheduled my chiropractor visit. I've been going monthly for a while now and want to push it to six weeks and then two months. My goal is to get it a quarterly visit. I just really have to budget accordingly. It's incredibly expensive right now and we don't have much income coming in. It's too bad none of this is covered by my healthcare, but we didn't have a lot of options for the "extras" through the health marketplace.

Well, I'll keep you posted over the next week if there are any telltale signs what is going on with my cycle.

God Bless!