May 14, 2015
Well, today was back to TCM. My female half of the dynamic duo was back from China, and sadly, rather depressed. I think the full gravity of her father's passing has really hit her. She teared up several times during our session.
My pulses I gather were a bit weak today. She knew right off the bat I was dealing with some emotional things. They diagnosed it as depression. I know what that means for them. Stress, emotions, etc. They told me to "relax relax relax." That seems to be the motto that surrounds me whenever I visit. She did say my tongue looked good, so I guess my body overall is doing better.
I talked to them about my osteopenia diagnosis, low estrogen and trouble sleeping and asked them to brew help for all of the above into my magical herb concoction. My male TCM explained to me that they are really trying to fortify my kidney channel which would help all of the above. The kidney channel controls the ovaries, which control the estrogen, which controls the calcium in my bones. And all of the above help sleep.
Give me an extra dose of that, please.
During my acupuncture they put on a new music mix, which, apparently was suppose to be calming and therapeutic and it could not have been further from it. It was like a combo of Chinese music and an Irish jig. I laid there eyes wide open trying to stop my feet from doing the Riverdance on the table. When she came in to adjust my needles I tried to ask her to change it, but she didn't understand me and left. Ah well. I did mention to him when I was done that I prefer the other music. This one just made me want to dance.
I'm back tracking here to my chiropractor appointment this last Monday. I told him also about the osteopenia and he said he was glad I told him but was concerned if they were putting me on any medications. I told him no that I wanted to treat holistically, bracing myself for any backlash and he gave me the thumbs up and said "good for you. That stuff is nasty. Like, really bad for you."
I've been exploring how to raise my estrogen again. I've been doing more research on phytoestrogens. Although I'm still avoiding soy because it can wreak havoc on normal hormonal function, I'm trying to introduce a few phytoestrogens to see if a higher "estrogen" level in my body can help prevent osteoperosis and consequently lower my FSH enough to let me body take over hormone production.
Some of the phytoestrogen I've been using I believe has helped improve my estradiol levels. In my opinion, the shatavari root helps as well as some of the essential ols.
I feel like this is all a wait and see thing. Some will work. Some won't. And, it's important to remember that everybody's body chemistry is different so what works for me may not work for you.
Tomorrow is my 36th birthday and it feels a little bitter sweet to me. All the hub bub about fertility declining after 35 and throw on top of it I'm technically already post menopausal and it makes me feel like it's a lost cause...and then I regroup and say "Screw it. I reject the stupid diagnosis."
I guess what it all comes down to is faith. I was talking to my friend the other night (who just adopted the embryos) and she was asking me about our plans. I told her I just didn't know. I've been praying so hard for a clear definite sign and I've felt like my faith was lacking I hadn't gotten it yet. I said I was in awe, and a bit jealous how her signs were, quite literally, undeniable.
She said something that was so reassuring to me. She said sometimes you just need to start moving ahead and that your feelings are the best indication of God speaking in your life. If we start training for fost adopt and we get that feeling in our gut it isn't right, it isn't. Or if we start the adoption process with embryos and have that sinking feeling, it isn't right. If we start either and we feel excited...Bingo.
I told her my fear pursuing anything right now is that I've put so much faith in God that I will be healed or miraculously get pregnant, that I feel like I'm saying I've lost my faith if I pursue either option. She made me feel better about it not admitting defeat or losing faith. She made a good point that we could go ahead with either and still conceive. It will never be an "end of the road" situation.
I do feel that we've a lot of wonderful options and I'm excited and really scared to explore them. I know and trust our child will find his or her way into our family. Perhaps God had bigger plans than I intended and I need to graciously accept the journey. And, by that, I mean all the things I've learned about valuing my son even more, my relationship with my husband and family, living every day as healthy as I can, as full as I can and finding a closer relationship to God.
I suppose I've rambled long enough.
God Bless!
Well, today was back to TCM. My female half of the dynamic duo was back from China, and sadly, rather depressed. I think the full gravity of her father's passing has really hit her. She teared up several times during our session.
My pulses I gather were a bit weak today. She knew right off the bat I was dealing with some emotional things. They diagnosed it as depression. I know what that means for them. Stress, emotions, etc. They told me to "relax relax relax." That seems to be the motto that surrounds me whenever I visit. She did say my tongue looked good, so I guess my body overall is doing better.
I talked to them about my osteopenia diagnosis, low estrogen and trouble sleeping and asked them to brew help for all of the above into my magical herb concoction. My male TCM explained to me that they are really trying to fortify my kidney channel which would help all of the above. The kidney channel controls the ovaries, which control the estrogen, which controls the calcium in my bones. And all of the above help sleep.
Give me an extra dose of that, please.
During my acupuncture they put on a new music mix, which, apparently was suppose to be calming and therapeutic and it could not have been further from it. It was like a combo of Chinese music and an Irish jig. I laid there eyes wide open trying to stop my feet from doing the Riverdance on the table. When she came in to adjust my needles I tried to ask her to change it, but she didn't understand me and left. Ah well. I did mention to him when I was done that I prefer the other music. This one just made me want to dance.
I'm back tracking here to my chiropractor appointment this last Monday. I told him also about the osteopenia and he said he was glad I told him but was concerned if they were putting me on any medications. I told him no that I wanted to treat holistically, bracing myself for any backlash and he gave me the thumbs up and said "good for you. That stuff is nasty. Like, really bad for you."
I've been exploring how to raise my estrogen again. I've been doing more research on phytoestrogens. Although I'm still avoiding soy because it can wreak havoc on normal hormonal function, I'm trying to introduce a few phytoestrogens to see if a higher "estrogen" level in my body can help prevent osteoperosis and consequently lower my FSH enough to let me body take over hormone production.
Some of the phytoestrogen I've been using I believe has helped improve my estradiol levels. In my opinion, the shatavari root helps as well as some of the essential ols.
I feel like this is all a wait and see thing. Some will work. Some won't. And, it's important to remember that everybody's body chemistry is different so what works for me may not work for you.
Tomorrow is my 36th birthday and it feels a little bitter sweet to me. All the hub bub about fertility declining after 35 and throw on top of it I'm technically already post menopausal and it makes me feel like it's a lost cause...and then I regroup and say "Screw it. I reject the stupid diagnosis."
I guess what it all comes down to is faith. I was talking to my friend the other night (who just adopted the embryos) and she was asking me about our plans. I told her I just didn't know. I've been praying so hard for a clear definite sign and I've felt like my faith was lacking I hadn't gotten it yet. I said I was in awe, and a bit jealous how her signs were, quite literally, undeniable.
She said something that was so reassuring to me. She said sometimes you just need to start moving ahead and that your feelings are the best indication of God speaking in your life. If we start training for fost adopt and we get that feeling in our gut it isn't right, it isn't. Or if we start the adoption process with embryos and have that sinking feeling, it isn't right. If we start either and we feel excited...Bingo.
I told her my fear pursuing anything right now is that I've put so much faith in God that I will be healed or miraculously get pregnant, that I feel like I'm saying I've lost my faith if I pursue either option. She made me feel better about it not admitting defeat or losing faith. She made a good point that we could go ahead with either and still conceive. It will never be an "end of the road" situation.
I do feel that we've a lot of wonderful options and I'm excited and really scared to explore them. I know and trust our child will find his or her way into our family. Perhaps God had bigger plans than I intended and I need to graciously accept the journey. And, by that, I mean all the things I've learned about valuing my son even more, my relationship with my husband and family, living every day as healthy as I can, as full as I can and finding a closer relationship to God.
I suppose I've rambled long enough.
God Bless!
No comments:
Post a Comment