October 26, 2018
Well, I bit the bullet and got my hormone panel run. I'll be honest, things have been stressful. I've been getting very little sleep, dealing with an ill fur baby, teaching several essential oil classes every week, rolling out new acting projects, working a full time job, doing the whole PTA thing, just wrapped a huge church event I was helping run AND trying to be as present as possible with my family. To say I've been stretched thin is an understatement. And, my body is apparently feeling it. Here I am educating people on healthy choices, completely running myself into the ground. Isn't that the way it goes? I make sure my kids are taken care of - good food, oiled up, adequate sleep...do I do the same for myself? Um, nope.
Oddly enough, other than a few hot flashes here and there, I've felt like my hormones were doing ok. I've attributed my lack of energy, poor focus and being short tempered to stress. I've my little oil and supplement regimen, and apparently it's been working well enough to take the edge off, because I honestly haven't felt poorly and haven't been getting sick constantly like before. So, when I got my hormone panel, my spirits sank.
FSH 161.2
Estradiol <10 pg/ml
Right to the gut. I can't aggressively do anything homeopathic because I'm nursing. A lot of herbal supplements contain herbs I'm not comfortable using while breastfeeding. I know this is a poor excuse for not exercising or sleeping as I should, but I honestly can't find the time. It's clear I need to look at a bioidentical hormone replacement therapy of some sort. I need to think of long term health - bones, heart, mind... I'm also praying I can let my day job go or cut hours drastically. I'm on the verge of just being able to focus on essential oil education and acting. That brings such joy to me and oh man...if I could do something fulfilling with my time, that'd alleviate so much stress for me.
I do NOT want to wean. That, I am sure. I'm wondering if a hormone therapy will decrease milk supply. That will be fine for my son...I think he will still get plenty, but I'm feeling massive guilt. I've been donating milk the last year and have a long term family. There are twins, one with some physical and cognitive issues that I provide milk for everyday. I've been able to give him 16-24 oz per day and it's been beneficial for him. He doesn't tolerate formulas well. I know this may decrease my supply and I already know how stressed his mom is about trying to feed him and / or afford formulas. Ugh.
I've been crying this morning. I just feel so emotional about it all.
S, my sweet (almost) two year old is such a smart, inquisitive, headstrong little guy. He's incredibly smart, and it's been eye opening how that presents it's own challenges. People think he's three or four, but he's not even two. So, although he can communicate like an older child with full sentences and insightful questions, great memory, he even plays sports like an older child, catching, throwing, hitting, kicking, and impressively so...He'll sing songs, recite his alphabet, prayers and colors,...all these things that sound "impressive" or braggy, but my point is...he's not even two. People don't know how to deal with him all the time, because emotionally, he's still a toddler. So, he does all these big boy things, and he has BIG feelings. Big. And, he doesn't know how to process them all the time. I think it's scary for him, so he has big reactions. I've found just holding him and hugging him until he can get control helps, but not everyone understands that. They yell or get frustrated with him and it absolutely breaks my heart. I know his emotions will catch up with that bright little mind of his, but until it does, I'm just so on edge advocating for him, making people try to understand he needs extra love and reassurance. He doesn't need grumbling and complaining and telling me he's acting out. One day that headstrong little personality will run an empire, of this I'm sure. I definitely don't need to worry about him and peer pressure...he'll tell those peers right where to go.
R, my oldest is dealing with his own set of needs. Kindergarten has been eye opening. There are a lot of children out there, I can't say mean spirited, because I don't think any child is, but who definitely have been shaped by different experiences. I feel like I'm constantly trying to encourage him to be strong in who he is, unique and proud. I've certainly gotten my first taste of having to let go and watch him struggle, and I'll be honest, it sucks. You have to let them live their life, and I need to step back and both equip him with social skills to stand up for himself, but not overstep. It's been a tightrope. He also is at an age where he is finding himself, his independence and that can have it's own set of challenges. He too, is very bright, and his TK program well equipped him, so there is a lot of review this year. The days he falls down to a lower color (behavioral chart) are the days we find he's "bored" and reviewing things. I want to swoop in there and tell the teacher to challenge him vs reprimand him, but again, gotta let the teacher do their job. Yeesh, this motherhood thing is tough.
Well, I'm clearly an emotional mess today. lol So, excuse my musings. Overall, life is good. I'm just grappling with how to take care of myself health wise in the best way possible.
I KNOW I do not want certain HRT. I am SO strongly opposed to medications derived from horse urine...from a moralistic standpoint, google how those are created. Animal cruelty plain and simple. I also don't agree with how so many synthetic hormones are metabolized in the body and not processed correctly leading to other issues and having various side effects. I know there are some good bioidenticals out there, just I'm not sure at this point if my insurance covers them.
Ah well, one foot in front of the other. I'm sure the answers will be presented. They always are. I haven't turned to prayer yet, so perhaps instead of my mind spinning...that is where I should start. Let go and let God...
Blessings.
Well, I bit the bullet and got my hormone panel run. I'll be honest, things have been stressful. I've been getting very little sleep, dealing with an ill fur baby, teaching several essential oil classes every week, rolling out new acting projects, working a full time job, doing the whole PTA thing, just wrapped a huge church event I was helping run AND trying to be as present as possible with my family. To say I've been stretched thin is an understatement. And, my body is apparently feeling it. Here I am educating people on healthy choices, completely running myself into the ground. Isn't that the way it goes? I make sure my kids are taken care of - good food, oiled up, adequate sleep...do I do the same for myself? Um, nope.
Oddly enough, other than a few hot flashes here and there, I've felt like my hormones were doing ok. I've attributed my lack of energy, poor focus and being short tempered to stress. I've my little oil and supplement regimen, and apparently it's been working well enough to take the edge off, because I honestly haven't felt poorly and haven't been getting sick constantly like before. So, when I got my hormone panel, my spirits sank.
FSH 161.2
Estradiol <10 pg/ml
Right to the gut. I can't aggressively do anything homeopathic because I'm nursing. A lot of herbal supplements contain herbs I'm not comfortable using while breastfeeding. I know this is a poor excuse for not exercising or sleeping as I should, but I honestly can't find the time. It's clear I need to look at a bioidentical hormone replacement therapy of some sort. I need to think of long term health - bones, heart, mind... I'm also praying I can let my day job go or cut hours drastically. I'm on the verge of just being able to focus on essential oil education and acting. That brings such joy to me and oh man...if I could do something fulfilling with my time, that'd alleviate so much stress for me.
I do NOT want to wean. That, I am sure. I'm wondering if a hormone therapy will decrease milk supply. That will be fine for my son...I think he will still get plenty, but I'm feeling massive guilt. I've been donating milk the last year and have a long term family. There are twins, one with some physical and cognitive issues that I provide milk for everyday. I've been able to give him 16-24 oz per day and it's been beneficial for him. He doesn't tolerate formulas well. I know this may decrease my supply and I already know how stressed his mom is about trying to feed him and / or afford formulas. Ugh.
I've been crying this morning. I just feel so emotional about it all.
S, my sweet (almost) two year old is such a smart, inquisitive, headstrong little guy. He's incredibly smart, and it's been eye opening how that presents it's own challenges. People think he's three or four, but he's not even two. So, although he can communicate like an older child with full sentences and insightful questions, great memory, he even plays sports like an older child, catching, throwing, hitting, kicking, and impressively so...He'll sing songs, recite his alphabet, prayers and colors,...all these things that sound "impressive" or braggy, but my point is...he's not even two. People don't know how to deal with him all the time, because emotionally, he's still a toddler. So, he does all these big boy things, and he has BIG feelings. Big. And, he doesn't know how to process them all the time. I think it's scary for him, so he has big reactions. I've found just holding him and hugging him until he can get control helps, but not everyone understands that. They yell or get frustrated with him and it absolutely breaks my heart. I know his emotions will catch up with that bright little mind of his, but until it does, I'm just so on edge advocating for him, making people try to understand he needs extra love and reassurance. He doesn't need grumbling and complaining and telling me he's acting out. One day that headstrong little personality will run an empire, of this I'm sure. I definitely don't need to worry about him and peer pressure...he'll tell those peers right where to go.
R, my oldest is dealing with his own set of needs. Kindergarten has been eye opening. There are a lot of children out there, I can't say mean spirited, because I don't think any child is, but who definitely have been shaped by different experiences. I feel like I'm constantly trying to encourage him to be strong in who he is, unique and proud. I've certainly gotten my first taste of having to let go and watch him struggle, and I'll be honest, it sucks. You have to let them live their life, and I need to step back and both equip him with social skills to stand up for himself, but not overstep. It's been a tightrope. He also is at an age where he is finding himself, his independence and that can have it's own set of challenges. He too, is very bright, and his TK program well equipped him, so there is a lot of review this year. The days he falls down to a lower color (behavioral chart) are the days we find he's "bored" and reviewing things. I want to swoop in there and tell the teacher to challenge him vs reprimand him, but again, gotta let the teacher do their job. Yeesh, this motherhood thing is tough.
Well, I'm clearly an emotional mess today. lol So, excuse my musings. Overall, life is good. I'm just grappling with how to take care of myself health wise in the best way possible.
I KNOW I do not want certain HRT. I am SO strongly opposed to medications derived from horse urine...from a moralistic standpoint, google how those are created. Animal cruelty plain and simple. I also don't agree with how so many synthetic hormones are metabolized in the body and not processed correctly leading to other issues and having various side effects. I know there are some good bioidenticals out there, just I'm not sure at this point if my insurance covers them.
Ah well, one foot in front of the other. I'm sure the answers will be presented. They always are. I haven't turned to prayer yet, so perhaps instead of my mind spinning...that is where I should start. Let go and let God...
Blessings.
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