Sometimes God has a different path in store for us. After being diagnosed with POF, I set out on a journey to "repair" my body and get pregnant naturally. Somewhere along the line, although pristine health and self care is my goal, the necessity to "prove" the doctors wrong became less important and we sought the perfect solution to grow our family. We decided on Embryo Donation / Adoption. Read about our journey. Blessings!

No closure

 2/1/2023

Well, our clinic did in fact confirm today that all donated embryos were used by the other couple who were recipients as well. I'm feeling empty. I really don't know our path, but there is no closure regarding more children. I can't put my finger on it. 

I'm incredibly fulfilled with my two children. But I don't know, in my heart of hearts, I know there is another. Maybe fostering is an option for the future. Maybe more embryos will fall in our lap. Maybe I'll be the one in ten million to fall pregnant naturally. Maybe maybe maybe. 

In my head I keep remembering them at my monitoring visits looking at my ovaries. They were still there. I'd figured they'd be withered away, but they are still there. Can't help but wonder if there are any eggs still kicking around. Silly of me I'm sure. I'm 43, nearing 44. I was diagnosed 9 years ago and given one in ten million odds. Seems it'd put me in the one in ten billion now, but...

I started taking a few of the supplements for egg health. Worse case, it just helps my body overall.

I keep repeating the words "Your will be done." Somewhere, somehow God has a plan. I just get frustrated not knowing.

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