Nov. 30, 2016
I am VERY over due updating my blog. It's been hectic around here!
At my last doctor's appointment my doctor told me an induction was necessary as the placenta became less efficient after 41 weeks. I consented to it as I chatted about in my last post.
When we arrived to the induction on the 10th they didn't have a room ready so I grabbed a bite to eat and we walked around the hospital. I had high hopes I'd suddenly start labor while meandering the halls. As we got checked in, I went into my spiel with each nurse, doctor and midwife my horrible experience last time and how I really was scared for this induction and wanted a better experience. Everyone seemed receptive!
They hooked me up to the monitor and checked how dilated and effaced I was. Still around 1 1/2" - 2" dilated and the same effaced as my prior appointment. I was contracting however on a regular basis and they said that even if I had not had a reaction to Cytotec last time, they couldn't use it. Basically, I was not dilated or effaced enough for pit, but contracting too steadily for Cytotec or Cervidil. Fine by me, I'd already told them I refused the Cytotec.
I also requested no IV yet, just a block for when we needed it. My hubby was in the background setting up our little diffuser and oil selection :) And, we kept that baby working throughout the entire labor, delivery and post partum during our stay. In fact, several nurses got my contact info it was so helpful.
We agreed on a cooks balloon. Basically, it's like an empty water balloon with a spot that inflates on the inside of your cervix, and one on the outside. They would insert it, then fill it with water and the pressure would make me contract more heavily and hopefully dilate me.
Inserting it was brutal. They had a resident try and after about six failed attempts the doctor took over. She was did NOT have a delicate touch. She tried about six or seven times as well. Youch! Once it was finally inserted and filled with water, it was to stay in place for 12 hrs. During that time, I could walk around as much as I wanted and eat with hourly monitoring on and off.
Once I had an hour monitoring, my hubby and I started walking the halls. We did so on and off for about seven hours until we decided around 11 to try and get a bit of rest as the balloon would be removed at 3:50 am. Trying to get comfortable with a balloon hanging out of you and constant contractions is for the birds. I maybe got an hour rest in.
At 3:50 they came in to remove the balloon and the nurse said she'd let me rest until 6 am when the doctor would come examine me. Well, five minutes later, the doctor burst in, flipped on the lights in and in a HORRENDOUS mood gave me the most uncomfortable dilation check of my life. I was 4 cm and about 70% effaced.She then snapped to start the pit immediately. Um...no.
"Could I take a quick shower and eat something before we start the pit? I know once it's started I can't really move or eat." She didn't take too kindly to that. Um, where did the nice receptive doctor at check in go?!? She consented to let me shower and the nurse pressed her to let me have a cold sandwhich to which she curtly said "Fine. Don't take too long in the shower and I refuse to let you sit around for breakfast at 6."
As soon as she left, I turned to my nurse and asked why the pressure to speed this along and reiterated that there was no emergency, the baby was looking great on the monitors and that I wanted this to go smoothly without risking the baby's safety or my uterus. After a frank discussion, she went back to consult the doctor and returned stating I had an option to break the water or start the pit. "Can I move around if you break the water?" The doctor said no. So...no sense in doing that.
The doctor returned in a much better mood and we discussed everything again. I consented to starting the pit at 2, but only raising it by 1, not 2, every 30-45 minutes versus 20-30 that was standard. I also asked that once contractions were steady we spread it out more allowing my body to work on it's own. She seemed irritated, but I didn't care...she agreed. So it began.
At shift change, an AWESOME midwife and nurse came on and they were 100% behind me. They actually let me call the shots when we increased the meds as long as contractions were 2-3 min apart. They also were very cool with me bouncing on my ball and moving around a bit in front of the monitor. My nurse was lovely to bring Popsicles often and ice chips and water. I also had brought in NingXia Red, which is a Young Living drink (shameless plug for YL oils which helped me immeasurably throughout labor and pregnancy which you can buy here!) and a few snacks that I ate freely. And, lo and behold, my contractions got stronger each time I ate something. Go figure. I was also applying clary sage to help intensify them.
As the day wore on, I upped the pit dose a few times and the midwife checked on me a few times. She told me when I was ready, they could break my water if I wanted to intensify things. After raising the pit once more, we decided to go ahead with that plan. I would have to lay on the bed for 30 minutes to ensure the water was clear. THAT was difficult. I had been moving to manage contractions up until this point, and once the water went, it was full steam ahead. I was at a 6 when they broke my water at 7 pm. At 7:30 I literally rolled out of bed, leaned against it and with my hypnobabies tract playing on my ipod managed to breathe and "relax" through each contraction. I will not lie. Most intense sensation I've ever felt.
My husband was awesome to rub lavender on my back and shoulders to help me relax and kept giving me cold packs for my forehead and back of neck. I vaguely remember him trying to feed me and my chasing him away. The nurse, who just came on at 7 kept trying to ask questions which I ignored every one...my husband finally told her to communicate through him, I was obviously "doing my thing." The only time I spoke to her was to request they drop the pit down a bit. She decreased it two notches. About 15 min later seeing how much pain I was in, she dropped it some more. Within minutes, I was telling her I needed to be checked.
She checked me and I was at a nine with a lip of cervix. I got to my knees just as another contraction hit and went limp over my husband's shoulders and shouted to her "I'm pushing. I'm pushing. I know I'm not suppose to, but my body is pushing." She laid me back down to check me and I was fully dilated and effaced. On the next contraction she told me to give one push. I heard her on the phone requesting the midwife and staff saying "She's a good pusher. The baby is coming."
Next thing I knew, everyone, including residents were there and I was pushing. I sputtered out to bring the mirror so I could see the baby as I knew I'd push better. He was cockeyed in there so I had to roll to one side so he could come out. And all of a sudden, there he was. The cord was wrapped around his neck, so I had to do controlled pushes and breathing until they were able to unlatch it, and out he came. Our beautiful baby boy! He arrived at 8:54 pm after a 29 hour labor.
We had skin to skin where they checked his vitals from my chest. I remember shushing him and the nurse saying no, let him cry! Since the cord had been around his neck, they wanted to ensure he "pinked" up. I love our hospital now allowed the cord to stop pulsing on it's own which was something I had requested when they asked my birth plan. Probably about 15 min later, the midwife had us both feel the cord to see if it was done pulsing and my husband clipped it. They had to take a small blood sample from it because a blood test had shown my son was at risk for anemia and jaundice.
I did start to hemorrhage, so they took my son to weigh him and attend to him while they fixed me up. The cytotec that I had wanted to avoid, I got a huge dose of as well as pit to ensure the bleeding stopped. Once I was doing better and stitched up from a tear, they brought out little guy back in and a big plate of food for me to eat.
I was shivering so badly they wrapped me in about six warm blankets and gave the baby to my husband for skin to skin. Apparently blood loss and adrenaline does that to you! It took about two hours for me to stop shaking. The nurse said I was shaking the whole bed. She did give me mad props for doing an induced delivery with no meds. And, I will say, the recovery is a ton easier without an epi. Intense as all get out during it, but after so much better.
All in all, we had an awesome experience. We had a few issues with latching during nursing which resulted in bleeding nipples (I know other mamas can relate) and severely engorged breast for the first week, but we've found our rhythm.
Our other son, finally got to meet his baby and came marching through the hospital in a lab coat wearing his stethoscope proudly carrying flowers for mommy. Watching him meet his brother and hold him was one of the most touching moments of my life to date. He's been exceptional with him.
I find myself feeling bad at times restricted to the couch or rocker nursing the baby and not giving our other son our full attention, but I'm doing the best that I can.
You know, it's funny. Three years ago when I was diagnosed with POF, I felt a part of me died. Now, looking back, I know in my heart of hearts this journey was intentional. Without it, we would not have our son. I love him so incredibly much and every tear I cried, every frantic moment, doubt and angry word I sputtered at God...it was for a reason. I believe our family is intentional and this child was meant to be with us. In my heart of hearts, I know it was all for him to be with us. I will never be upset over my diagnosis again. Do the side effects suck? Yeah. Was it worth it to welcome this child...yes. For all you women out there who feel a loss, please consider embryo donation, adoption or foster to adopt. I can attest that genetics does NOT make a family. The love you will have for your child no matter how they come, will be immeasurable. Much love to you all.
I am VERY over due updating my blog. It's been hectic around here!
At my last doctor's appointment my doctor told me an induction was necessary as the placenta became less efficient after 41 weeks. I consented to it as I chatted about in my last post.
When we arrived to the induction on the 10th they didn't have a room ready so I grabbed a bite to eat and we walked around the hospital. I had high hopes I'd suddenly start labor while meandering the halls. As we got checked in, I went into my spiel with each nurse, doctor and midwife my horrible experience last time and how I really was scared for this induction and wanted a better experience. Everyone seemed receptive!
They hooked me up to the monitor and checked how dilated and effaced I was. Still around 1 1/2" - 2" dilated and the same effaced as my prior appointment. I was contracting however on a regular basis and they said that even if I had not had a reaction to Cytotec last time, they couldn't use it. Basically, I was not dilated or effaced enough for pit, but contracting too steadily for Cytotec or Cervidil. Fine by me, I'd already told them I refused the Cytotec.
I also requested no IV yet, just a block for when we needed it. My hubby was in the background setting up our little diffuser and oil selection :) And, we kept that baby working throughout the entire labor, delivery and post partum during our stay. In fact, several nurses got my contact info it was so helpful.
We agreed on a cooks balloon. Basically, it's like an empty water balloon with a spot that inflates on the inside of your cervix, and one on the outside. They would insert it, then fill it with water and the pressure would make me contract more heavily and hopefully dilate me.
Inserting it was brutal. They had a resident try and after about six failed attempts the doctor took over. She was did NOT have a delicate touch. She tried about six or seven times as well. Youch! Once it was finally inserted and filled with water, it was to stay in place for 12 hrs. During that time, I could walk around as much as I wanted and eat with hourly monitoring on and off.
Once I had an hour monitoring, my hubby and I started walking the halls. We did so on and off for about seven hours until we decided around 11 to try and get a bit of rest as the balloon would be removed at 3:50 am. Trying to get comfortable with a balloon hanging out of you and constant contractions is for the birds. I maybe got an hour rest in.
At 3:50 they came in to remove the balloon and the nurse said she'd let me rest until 6 am when the doctor would come examine me. Well, five minutes later, the doctor burst in, flipped on the lights in and in a HORRENDOUS mood gave me the most uncomfortable dilation check of my life. I was 4 cm and about 70% effaced.She then snapped to start the pit immediately. Um...no.
"Could I take a quick shower and eat something before we start the pit? I know once it's started I can't really move or eat." She didn't take too kindly to that. Um, where did the nice receptive doctor at check in go?!? She consented to let me shower and the nurse pressed her to let me have a cold sandwhich to which she curtly said "Fine. Don't take too long in the shower and I refuse to let you sit around for breakfast at 6."
As soon as she left, I turned to my nurse and asked why the pressure to speed this along and reiterated that there was no emergency, the baby was looking great on the monitors and that I wanted this to go smoothly without risking the baby's safety or my uterus. After a frank discussion, she went back to consult the doctor and returned stating I had an option to break the water or start the pit. "Can I move around if you break the water?" The doctor said no. So...no sense in doing that.
The doctor returned in a much better mood and we discussed everything again. I consented to starting the pit at 2, but only raising it by 1, not 2, every 30-45 minutes versus 20-30 that was standard. I also asked that once contractions were steady we spread it out more allowing my body to work on it's own. She seemed irritated, but I didn't care...she agreed. So it began.
At shift change, an AWESOME midwife and nurse came on and they were 100% behind me. They actually let me call the shots when we increased the meds as long as contractions were 2-3 min apart. They also were very cool with me bouncing on my ball and moving around a bit in front of the monitor. My nurse was lovely to bring Popsicles often and ice chips and water. I also had brought in NingXia Red, which is a Young Living drink (shameless plug for YL oils which helped me immeasurably throughout labor and pregnancy which you can buy here!) and a few snacks that I ate freely. And, lo and behold, my contractions got stronger each time I ate something. Go figure. I was also applying clary sage to help intensify them.
As the day wore on, I upped the pit dose a few times and the midwife checked on me a few times. She told me when I was ready, they could break my water if I wanted to intensify things. After raising the pit once more, we decided to go ahead with that plan. I would have to lay on the bed for 30 minutes to ensure the water was clear. THAT was difficult. I had been moving to manage contractions up until this point, and once the water went, it was full steam ahead. I was at a 6 when they broke my water at 7 pm. At 7:30 I literally rolled out of bed, leaned against it and with my hypnobabies tract playing on my ipod managed to breathe and "relax" through each contraction. I will not lie. Most intense sensation I've ever felt.
My husband was awesome to rub lavender on my back and shoulders to help me relax and kept giving me cold packs for my forehead and back of neck. I vaguely remember him trying to feed me and my chasing him away. The nurse, who just came on at 7 kept trying to ask questions which I ignored every one...my husband finally told her to communicate through him, I was obviously "doing my thing." The only time I spoke to her was to request they drop the pit down a bit. She decreased it two notches. About 15 min later seeing how much pain I was in, she dropped it some more. Within minutes, I was telling her I needed to be checked.
She checked me and I was at a nine with a lip of cervix. I got to my knees just as another contraction hit and went limp over my husband's shoulders and shouted to her "I'm pushing. I'm pushing. I know I'm not suppose to, but my body is pushing." She laid me back down to check me and I was fully dilated and effaced. On the next contraction she told me to give one push. I heard her on the phone requesting the midwife and staff saying "She's a good pusher. The baby is coming."
Next thing I knew, everyone, including residents were there and I was pushing. I sputtered out to bring the mirror so I could see the baby as I knew I'd push better. He was cockeyed in there so I had to roll to one side so he could come out. And all of a sudden, there he was. The cord was wrapped around his neck, so I had to do controlled pushes and breathing until they were able to unlatch it, and out he came. Our beautiful baby boy! He arrived at 8:54 pm after a 29 hour labor.
We had skin to skin where they checked his vitals from my chest. I remember shushing him and the nurse saying no, let him cry! Since the cord had been around his neck, they wanted to ensure he "pinked" up. I love our hospital now allowed the cord to stop pulsing on it's own which was something I had requested when they asked my birth plan. Probably about 15 min later, the midwife had us both feel the cord to see if it was done pulsing and my husband clipped it. They had to take a small blood sample from it because a blood test had shown my son was at risk for anemia and jaundice.
I did start to hemorrhage, so they took my son to weigh him and attend to him while they fixed me up. The cytotec that I had wanted to avoid, I got a huge dose of as well as pit to ensure the bleeding stopped. Once I was doing better and stitched up from a tear, they brought out little guy back in and a big plate of food for me to eat.
I was shivering so badly they wrapped me in about six warm blankets and gave the baby to my husband for skin to skin. Apparently blood loss and adrenaline does that to you! It took about two hours for me to stop shaking. The nurse said I was shaking the whole bed. She did give me mad props for doing an induced delivery with no meds. And, I will say, the recovery is a ton easier without an epi. Intense as all get out during it, but after so much better.
All in all, we had an awesome experience. We had a few issues with latching during nursing which resulted in bleeding nipples (I know other mamas can relate) and severely engorged breast for the first week, but we've found our rhythm.
Our other son, finally got to meet his baby and came marching through the hospital in a lab coat wearing his stethoscope proudly carrying flowers for mommy. Watching him meet his brother and hold him was one of the most touching moments of my life to date. He's been exceptional with him.
I find myself feeling bad at times restricted to the couch or rocker nursing the baby and not giving our other son our full attention, but I'm doing the best that I can.
You know, it's funny. Three years ago when I was diagnosed with POF, I felt a part of me died. Now, looking back, I know in my heart of hearts this journey was intentional. Without it, we would not have our son. I love him so incredibly much and every tear I cried, every frantic moment, doubt and angry word I sputtered at God...it was for a reason. I believe our family is intentional and this child was meant to be with us. In my heart of hearts, I know it was all for him to be with us. I will never be upset over my diagnosis again. Do the side effects suck? Yeah. Was it worth it to welcome this child...yes. For all you women out there who feel a loss, please consider embryo donation, adoption or foster to adopt. I can attest that genetics does NOT make a family. The love you will have for your child no matter how they come, will be immeasurable. Much love to you all.
God bless.
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