Saugus Shooting

Like so many others in our community, I’ve had a difficult time this past week. My kids were ok. I hear about shootings all across the United States and as horrifying as they are, none have brought me to my knees like this one. I know it’s selfish. But, it’s more than the sheer horror of it all. It’s more than wondering if my own children will be safe tomorrow morning when I drop them off. It’s more than trying to grapple with how Gracie and Dominic’s families are coping. It’s more than trying to understand the sheer terror those kids felt. What they saw. How they’ll cope. How their lives are forever changed.

It’s a mother’s horror. It’s a friend’s disbelief. How are those feelings reconciled? If we can for a microsecond distance ourselves from the anger and hatred, as difficult as that is, what’s left is a kid. He’s not innocent. Not at all. But as a community, I think where part of the horror lies, is he was like “every kid.”

His classmates described him as “a quiet, normal student who "seemed like one of those regular kids" He ran track. He was in Boyscouts. He had a girlfriend. A family friend said “I’ve known the whole family my whole life. It’s just – it’s so surprising. You hear about things like this in the news, you don’t expect it to be your own community. He was a very quiet person, a kind person. He was respectful, how he talked about others. It could be just the relationship that he and I had together but, you know, I just wish he was willing to say that he needed some help.”

Another - “I’m bewildered and looking for answers — the question as to why all this would happen. So many questions no one has the answers to.””

"I literally thought he was a normal kid," said Brizio DelRosario, 16, who ran with Berhow on the Junior Varsity Cross Country team. "We would run together sometimes. The last time I saw him was at a race about 2 weeks ago, he was totally normal. I started next to him and he wished me luck."

"He wasn't a quiet or a weird kid," DelRosario said.

Another teammate, who asked that his name not be used, said the student, whom they called Nathan, was in a group of about 7 or 8 friends who all ran track at Saugus High and went to parties together. He said he knew Nathan "very well" and that he is "the sweetest kid you'll ever meet."

"Nathan is shy," the friend said. "I saw Nathan yesterday; we went on a hill run with maybe four guys. He was totally normal, cracking jokes as usual."

Everything said about this child…no one knew. No one. His mom showed up to the hospital thinking he was a victim…can you imagine? Can you imagine the horror to hear your child was shot – the panic, the anger, the sadness, the disbelief, to show up and be told that he was the PERPETRATOR. I can’t even for a second wrap my head around that.

No one knew. Beyond all the obvious reasons I’m horrified…I just cannot come to terms with this. No one knew. His mom. His teachers. His Boy scout’s leaders. His coaches. His girlfriend. His sister. His family. His classmates. His friends. His teammates. No one. NO ONE.

I think that is where my horror comes in the most. Over and over…people keep just saying he was “normal” he was like “every kid” he was “respectful” he was “funny” he was “kind” yet he did the unfathomable. As a society…as a mom…no one knew. How do we rectify that? It could have been any kid, and I think that is what is most horrifying. We don’t want to admit that. But, I think that is the most incomprehensible part…it could have been any kid.

I don’t know how to “fix” that. I don’t. But it is the horror that keeps me awake at night. 

Clinical Trial

10-30-2019

Well, a lot of time has passed. But, I feel like I need to return to my "journaling" about my infertility journey. A unique opportunity has come up in the last week and it's been a whirlwind of emotion. In a POF support group, someone posted information about a clinical trial for ovarian rejuvenation using PRP - Platelet Rich Plasma. I reached out to the doctor in Greece, Konstantine Pantos at the Greek Athens Clinic. I thought why not, and lo and behold, I'm being considered. Wow.

As I delved deeper into what exactly it was I was stunned to see the outcomes. How have I not heard of this? I guess since doing embryo donation, I just haven't paid as much attention? They are friggin' reversing POF. Reversing perimenopause. How are people not talking about this? At this juncture, it is only in clinical trial and a few reproduction clinics in the States offer it as an experimental procedure.

What they do, is take your blood. They spin it in a centrifuge, remove the red blood cells, and you are left with platelet rich plasma. That also means, you are left with a higher concentration of growth factors. The really cool thing about this study for all you folks who've been along the ride with me and know me...is it doesn't take any medication. It is simply, your own blood. No risk of you rejecting it. Very little risk of side effects. The only thing really noted so far is light cramping. They take your blood, prepare the PRP, inject 5 ml into your ovary, let you rest for an hour or so, then off you go. They monitor you for three months to keep an eye on your hormones and I'm assuming follicle growth. From the NCBI study -

"PRP institutes an autologous and highly concentrated solution of plasma, which is prepared from the patient’s own blood and contains a concentrated source of growth factors, namely insulin-like growth factor-1 and 2 (IGF-1, IGF-2), fibroblast growth factor (FGF), epidermal growth factor (EGF), transforming growth factor beta (TGF-b), hormones, and cytokines [12]. Considering the active factors involved, along with their potent therapeutic nature, it is not unreasonable to hypothesize that PRP treatment may assist in tissue regeneration [13], the enhancement of anabolic signalling pathways [14], cell differentiation and proliferation [15], angiogenesis initiation, and control [16]. Considering the angiogenic composition of the ovary and the pivotal influence of platelet-derived growth factors on vascular activation and stabilization, treatment with autologous PRP may be viewed as the enabler of ovarian tissue regeneration [17]. PRP contains a member of the TGF-b superfamily, growth differentiation factor 9 (GDF-9) [18]. The gdf-9 gene expression is regarded as a biomarker of oocyte maturation potential [19,20], and its mutations have been linked to premature ovarian failure [21]."

The first three woman they performed it on, all regained ovarian function. All three actually went on to conceive and have live births naturally with no reproductive intervention after the PRP. You can see their charts here. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0963689719859539 Ages 27, 40 and 46.

The next study they did had 8 woman - all 8 resumed menstruation within within one to three months.

If you google PRP ovarian rejuvenation a lot of studies are popping up. Although it is still in the clinical stage, the results are very promising. Some sources site normal ovarian function in 70% of the cases.

To be a part of the trial, I meet all the criteria except being on HRT since I succumbed to a small dose last spring. I'm hoping if I go off it, the trial continues on for at least three months for me to be a part of it. You must be HRT for three months. I stopped mine last Monday when I got word I was progressing to the next stage with a consult.

If I am accepted, the trial itself is fully paid for. I just must pay the 200 euros for the initial consult there (the skype consult is free) and for my travel. I must also agree to three months of monitoring. The good news is, even if I am given the placebo during the trial, they have agreed to give me the true procedure after the three month umbrella is lifted.

When I started investigating who does it here in the Sates, I did find several places. All treatments range from $4000 up over $10,000. The closest one to be is $4600. And, to be honest, it is actually cheaper for me to take a week long vacation to Greece with my husband, soooo...if I'm accepted, that may be the route we go. There is also something reassuring doing it with the man who was the first to perform it. I played around looking at things and can actually get a six day trip with air and hotel for around $850 on Groupon. We can book better trips including some food, tours etc for closer to $1150-$1500 which may be better to know all transfers, food, tours, etc are taken care of so I don't have to stress about it all.

So, last night, I was suppose to have my skype consult at 1:30 am. Remember, Greece is 9 hrs ahead. I had a choice 5 am or 1:30 am. My son often wakes in the morning to nurse, so thinking I was being smart, I scheduled it at 1:30. We even told him, if he woke up, Daddy would be going in because mommy would be up late and needed to get some sleep. 12:55 "Mommy, I need milk, Mommy mommy mommy." Ugh. Are you kidding??

So, I waited it out and had daddy go in and it was like World War III erupted. He ONLY wanted mommy and was having a full on freak out, tantrum. So I went in to calm him. I tried to leave at 1:20 and it resumed. He was clinging to me screaming. I finally got down the stairs, listening to it all happening upstairs at 1:27, sat down and waited.. After ten minutes, the clinic emailed me there was a medical emergency and rescheduled or 16,00 Greece time. Sure... Ok 9 am. But no, that is 7 am :(

I missed the bloody call. Ugh. So, right now, it's rescheduled for Nov 1 between 10,00 and 13,00 which is 1 am - 4 am here. Fingers crossed the forgive my stupidity and exhausted mind and let me still take the slot. I was so mad at myself that I burst out crying. Here is this great opportunity and my exhaustion. Wahhhh.

I'm just so excited about the possibility of this. If I got to do it and if it worked, I could say goodbye to the next decade of meds. I wouldn't have to stress out so much about my bones and heart. This'd completely turn this disease around for so many women.

It raises so many questions in my head though. Why is reproductive medicine the only one researching it (profits, ahem) Will insurance ever cover this? Or will they stick their heads in the sand and call it an infertility procedure versus what it actually us, ensuring a woman's organ that runs her whole hormonal system and ensures her bones, heart and other organs are healthy and strong. So much to watch unfold.

For now, please say a prayer for me. I'd love to be able to do this. I'd love to be a part of this.

Attached is one of the studies. There are so many if you dig in to it. How incredible is all of this?? I'm giddy with what this could mean for all my POF sisters out there!

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6352170/

Essential Oils

April 21, 2019

Happy Easter! I hope you all had a blessed day. He. Is. Risen.

I get a lot of messages regarding essential oils. If you've been following me for a time, you know I'm pretty much obsessed with them. We use them for everything. To support our sleep, immune systems, tummies, relaxation, stress, the list goes on...and on...and on.

People always want to know what oils I use FOR POF. Here's the thing. I don't. Way back when I was diagnosed, I started seeing a Chinese medicine doctor and he explained it so eloquently. Our bodies are pretty darn awesome. I'd been accustomed, and had been taught that you go to the doctor when something is wrong. Most people do. The problem is...something is wrong. We're slapping a bandaid on a symptom. Now, I am NOT opposed to the doctor. I am not opposed to medicines or therapies or any of that. My son was the result of science and good medicine (thank you Lord!) but I AM opposed to overuse of medications and "slapping a bandaid" on a condition that throws your body further out of line.

Essential oils are part of that mentality shift that I had that day. I started approaching my full body wellness from the perspective of taking care of myself. I equate it with a car. If you never change the oil, it runs out...the motor burns out. Investing in oil changes, inexpensive long term. If you never fill it with gas, it stops. If you never air the tires, it goes flat, bends the rims, big dollars, right?

Essential oils are an incredible support to help your body operate the way that it should. We use them to help support our immune systems before we are compromised. If your immune system is nice and strong, your IMMUNE system karate chops the germs it comes in to contact with. Will you never, ever, get sick, no. Let's be real, BUT, a strong functioning immune system means you are less susceptible, and if you DO get sick, it may not be as severe or as long. Before diagnosis, I was ill more than I was healthy. Now, not so. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've gotten sick in the last five years. My son, hasn't missed a day of school in four years. My 2 1/2 year old has missed three days (and yes, he goes to daycare!)

Why do I think that is? We try to keep their little bodies running - we use our oils to support them, we diffuse, we pay attention to washing hands, slathering them up with hand purifier, we take our probiotics daily for healthy guts (hello, 90% of immune function resides in the gut) we add elderberry syrup during icky times of the year, we try to eat healthy foods (sweet, sassy molassy, today was a disaster on that front, and the amount of tantrums and tears reminded me WHY we don't eat that much sugar in this house!! Can I get an Amen?!?) We use oils in our diffuser ever night to help support sleep because a well rested body is a healthier body. We use them when we feel unfocused or stressed and are "spiraling" to help calm down. Lower stress levels help keep our bodies healthier.

If we have minor grievances, we reach for oils to help feel better, to help relax, to help drift off to sleep. So, no, I do not use oils to cure POF. I use essential oils to help my body stay in a place of wellness. Like my Chinese medicine doctor told me...if my whole body is health, my whole body is, well, healthy.

Now, that said, I do use a variety of their oils from their hormonal support line to help support my body. I love their Sclaressence, Lady Sclaerol and Progessence Plus. They've specific supplements like FemiGen, PD 80/20, Coristop, Endoflex, etc that are formulated to help support our endocrine systems, hormonal systems, etc. I feel like that should be a whole other blog post! If you are on Facebook, find the group Lucy Libido Says. Search hormones and there is a fabulous video! Only women are allowed in that group.

We are also vigilant about the products we use. We only use Thieves household cleaner, baking soda, vinegar and castile soap. I use all of Young Living's skincare and dental care, their makeup (honestly, that make up is crazy awesome.) I use a lot of their supplements and others I've listed throughout my blog. We use BPA free plastics, our little eco egg washer minerals (make sure you get FRAGRANCE FREE!! It does 720 loads and is less that $30)

We ditched all products with fragrance. Yup, no more candles, cleaners, dryer sheets (get wool dryer balls - ahhhmazing!) We use only mineral sunscreen - Young Living has an awesome one. We also like Think Baby. We try to do organic as much as we can, but strict to the clean fifteen and dirty dozen pretty religiously. I use EWG and Think Dirty almost daily and analyze ingredients to no end. People think I'm nutty, but doctors think this crazy disease was environmental, and looking at how prevalent infertility and a host of other things like autoimmune conditions, anxiety, depression, eczema, even cancers have become, why put any darn think on my or my children's bodies that have harmful ingredients when there are safer options.

And, I'm not saying all chemicals are toxic. Chemicals are good. You drink water right? Breathe air? Chemicals. What I am saying is synthetic garbage that is formulated in factories isn't intended to be broken down by our bodies. Not at the rate we are using them. Think of your body like a washing machine. If you are doing your laundry, it may seem like you never finish, and that washer may be going constantly, but it gets through those piles (I know, doesn't seem like it.) BUT, if the entire block was dropping off their clothing, pretty soon, you'd be overrun. Even if that washer is going constantly, it will never get through all the loads of laundry. Your body is like that. It can only go through so much.

Endocrine disruptions? Medically and scientifically proven. Cancers? Medically and scientifically proven. They list ingredients that are KNOWN to cause them. Still in your products. Still in your facewash and moisturizer and antiperspirants and shampoos and hairsprays and makeup and cleaners and the list goes on. So, I decided that as long as I can control what comes in to my home, I will.

The oils are use are Young Living's. I tried a ton. Many brands and many varieties. These were the ones that number one, worked the best for me, but also the company I trusted. You can read more about them here. 

Membership with them is easy, and there are no strings. It's simply 24% off retail. No monthly orders required. No selling required. You can do both of course, but it isn't required and you never get pressure. Pressure isn't my style. Learn what membership is here. We've a boatload of educational groups and you get me as your oily guru. I love helping people and educating them and am always available. Signing up with Young Living requires a sponsor - enter me. Follow this link to sign up directly. Or, follow this link to learn more about all the kit options.

The most common way to sign up is with a premium starter kit. There are four options. Makeup (our Savvy line is incredible!) Thieves thieves everywhere. Ningxia Red. Or, oils. Oils are usually the fan favorite because the kit is a $411 value and is only $165. It already HAS the diffuser and comes with 12 oils, the hand purifier, sample pack of the cleaner and two packs of Ningxia red. So, basically the whole shebang to get started. That membership gives you 24% off retail on ALL their products, not just oils, enables you to join essential rewards which allows you to earn up to 25% back, get cheaper shipping, additional monthly free promotional oils and rewards you loyalty oils at 3,6,9 and 12 months. You can also participate in their events, and it gives you access to all our member educational groups. It's a smokin' deal.

This is the premium starter kit with oils. I suggest the desert mist diffuser. It's absolutely gorgeous. It runs ten hours (yay if you have kiddos you want to help sleep) has 11 light settings, or dark and can run intermittently or steadily. The oils included are carefully selected to help support all your physical and emotional support needs.

So, there ya have it. Essential oils rock. Young Living rocks. All their lifestyle products and supplements rock. Everything I was buying elsewhere, now here. I'm an open book about oils, so feel free to message me anytime. I'm always excited when people take a step toward better health, so when you sign up, shoot me a message so I can add you to our Facebook groups and get you your welcome gift in the mail. It has some goodies and educational materials to get you started. Tell me "blogger" and I will place a $10 account credit on your account so you can try a healthier product on me.

I'll try to include more blog posts about essential oils. I didn't realize how many people wanted to know more about them. If you want me to focus on certain aspects of them, how they work, what they are which ones I use and how, lemme know.

God bless! I hope you had an incredible Easter and am super stoked for you all to find all the benefits these beauties offer.

Bone Health

March 17, 2019

Alright, I've been honestly stressing out about all of this. It is echoing in my head. My bones depleted by 7% these last three years. Holy crud. In that time, I was basically pregnant or on hormones trying to get pregnant about a year...so I had the estrogen. Yikes. I'm also dealing with severely recessed gums. Last dentist exam instead of the usual, wow, your teeth are amazing, she said my oral hygiene wasn't as good. Excuse me? I brush a bazillion times per day, floss, use mouth wash. My gums are recessing faster. I have pockets. It's due to no estrogen.

I basically need to stick it out one more month to get the babies I donate breastmilk to, to one year. After that, I think I may need to bite the bullet and start the bioidenticals. My own son really only nurses morning and night now. When he's home, he will nurse at nap time or for emotional comfort. I think cutting back the pumping will help my body regain some nutrients. Pumping an extra 24-30 oz is a lot for a body to do. My endocrinologist did say some bone density will return once I wean.

I started taking the new calcium along with my other one. So now, I take two Young Living Super Cal Plus, two Garden of Life Raw Calcium. The Garden of life has the stronium in it, but a very, very small dose. I will start their Grow Bone once I wean. The reviews are fantastic and my endo gave me the go ahead. I also just started the Young Living BLM supplement. It has the glucosamine sulfate and collagen. I'm keeping up with the Biosil and current collagen I'm on as well. In a support group, someone mentioned taking Boron as well. Lo and behold, I did some research and very promising info. The raw calcium does have some, but since I'm doing a half dose of that, I did get a 3 mg supplement.

My sister in law suggested two workout sets, so I ordered these and these as well. The kiddos and I have been doing our exercises at night, I've been doing weights a few times a week, and I've been very diligent about making sure to at least take 20 minutes a day for a brisk walk. I'm doing jumping jacks every time I get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom from work, squatting holding my son, anything to fit in extra weight bearing exercise.

I think I feel panicky because I'm not doing everything I can, but I'm not emotionally done nursing and my son is nowhere near emotionally or physically done. I keep weighing my long term health vs where we're at now. I can't supplement with herbs or supplements, I'm nervous starting BHRT... Ugh. I just need to take a breath. The reality is, a few extra months won't do long term damage. I just need to do what I can and trust. I can start on the BHRT once I'm done donating. "Normal" women have estrogen in their blood and milk all the time...granted this isn't naturally produced, but the effects are the same. I absolutely despise I need medication. I pray for no ill effects.

I just want my body to cooperate...

On a lighter note...still meal kit obsessed! LOL We got our second Sunbasket delivery and it was delicious! Well, we all agreed the sesame crusted tuna and salmon nicoise was. I thought the blackened tempeh was ok, my husband was a hard no. Ah well. I knew it was taking a chance. I'm trying to shift more plant based. For my initial Sunbasket review go here.  So far, that is the one I've been most impressed by overall.

I'm excited to try out Hello Fresh this week. Stay tuned ;)

Infertility Warrior

March 15, 2019

When I started this journey five years ago, I was broken. Completely and utterly broken. I was an emotional and physical wreck. When they say infertility destroys you...it does. Sure, I'm still dealing with some physical ramifications of my diagnosis, but emotionally, I'm on top. I kept meaning to come on here and talk about my experience speaking at a Young Living rally back in July, and, well, life got the best of me. But, it was incredibly powerful.

I was asked to speak at a Lucy Libido rally. Lucy is a fictional character that was derived from the experiences of dozens of women who transformed their lives through emotional and physical growth. "Lucy" knew I'd had an amazing journey, resulting in my beautiful son, and asked if I'd be willing to come give a 30 minute talk. Gulp. I would be speaking at the Grammy museum in front of a few hundred women. Now, some back story...I'm an actor. So, being in front of people hiding behind a character and script, totally cool. Standing up and talking about my most private and painful journey, terrifying as hell (pardon my language.)

I was asked if I'd share my infertility journey. That was it. Ok... Well, so many directions. So, after a lot of soul searching, I told it. No holds barred. I honestly didn't know how people would react, but often, what I have to say isn't that popular.

The reality is, there is no "reason" for my infertility. I have no autoimmune issues, I have no genetic ties, I have no history of chemotherapy or radiation. I was told that it was environmental. My journey started there. What did I do? You can read back for all the details, but the honest to God truth was I simply overhauled our lives and got rid of all the junk I felt was contributing to my issues. The candles, the fragrances, the personal care products I was slathering on my body, the foods that are simply riddled with chemicals, the horrendous cleaners... I simplified. What I found was, I started feeling better. In fact, my kidney function improved. Drastically.

One of the areas I branched out into, was essential oils and wellness products. I reached for cleaner products that I knew weren't going to jack up my endocrine system more than it already was. I wanted things that didn't create or worsen my overall health.  I found a preventative approach was far more ideal than chasing symptoms later on.

I won't regurgitate my speech, but here are the bullet points.

*Get rid of the junk. ALL the junk. Focus on clean products. Plant based safe cleaners, personal care products without the junk, wholesome foods. Simply, get rid of the junk. Anything synthetically derived, in most cases, is just not good for you. Yes, we have a liver. Yes, we have kidneys, but look at your body like your laundry. If you are doing your laundry, you can get to the bottom of the pile. But if your entire block keeps dropping their laundry off...no matter how many loads you do, you can't catch up. You keep piling up all that junk in your body, it gets overrun. It's called bio-accumulation. I have medical records where I watched my kidney function improve drastically over the last several years. It was a rise from impaired kidney function to great kidney function. I believe wholeheartedly it was from removing the superfluous crud in my home.

*Take care of your body. Exercise. Eat right. Focus on whole foods. If you can't do organic, stick with non-GMO, the clean 15 and dirty dozen. Choose supplements wisely, cleanly and ones that nourish. We all need probiotics. We need antioxidants. We need omegas.

*Take care of your emotional wellness. At the rally, an amazing speaker, Dr. Benjamin Perkus, was there talking about the Aroma Freedom Technique. The reality is, if you're dealing with infertility, you have a lot of emotional baggage. We NEED a place to release it. Let it go. I love what he has to say. If that isn't your cup of tea, go to a therapist. I do. I need a place to work through all my feelings. There is nothing shameful about self care.

*You are not a victim. Listen up. You are NOT A VICTIM. I was most worried about talking about this, but DAMN! Ladies, you are the strongest, most capable, amazing women! We can choose to let our diagnosis or the cruddy hand we are dealt ruin us...or we can choose to stand up straight and make it work. You want to be a mom. You will be. Do NOT let this crappy diagnosis rob you of your happiness. Do you hear me? There are so many ways to motherhood. Natural conception, donor egg, sperm donation, foster to adopt, adoption, surrogacy, embryo donation. I believe with my entire heart and soul my son was destined to be mine. MINE. This is MY son. Mine. I would not have him without POF and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Ever.

Speaking at that rally, was exactly what I needed. I met so many incredible women and it reminded me how painful it is when you are in the trenches. I saw women sobbing in the crowd. So many women came up to me after and shared their stories. I was later asked to speak in a Facebook group of 135k plus women and once again found such amazing women. I've been asked to speak at a rally this September in San Diego. I'm working out he dates now, but have found a great sense of fulfillment.

Listen ladies, and gentlemen. Infertility bites. Ok. It bites. But, we can CHOOSE if we let it destroy us. We can choose how we react to things. We can choose if we will still be parents. Please, do not let infertility rob you of motherhood or fatherhood. Genetics are NOT the be all end all. They aren't. They simply aren't. I have a biological child. I have one through embryo donation. I will say with 100% certainty. I love both my children the same. I have the same mama bear love, devotion and bond with both children. I am grateful, yes grateful, for my POF for that reason. Do I love the side effects or health issues, no. Would I trade them? No. I will take my son over perfect health any day. Any day.

If you are still hurting...I extend my heart and ear to you. Reach out. You are a warrior and you will come out on top.

God bless.

Endocrinologist Appointment

March 8, 2019

Well, yesterday I had the dreaded endocrinologist appointment following my DEXA scan, and the results weren't good. I knew I'd lost some bone mass, but was not prepared in the slightest to have my doctor walk in and suggest osteoporosis meds. Hard pass. My mouth dropped open.

As she reviewed my history she mentioned the last time I came in I had a two year old, to which I replied and I still do! Ha! Well, a six and a two year old. Her eyes got wide so I quickly chimed in through embryo donation...ahhhh. I also said I'm still nursing him and she got a bit quiet. Apparently, that took the osteoporosis med suggestion out of play since it's contraindicated.

Her next suggestion was estrogen therapy. I reminded her of my family history of estrogen driven cancers and added that since our last meeting my mom had also had uterine cancer and female cousin (40) had breast cancer. Again, she got quiet.

She was obviously deeply concerned, and I will hand it to her. She spent a lot of time while we hashed out and weighed all the options. She doesn't want me at risk for breast cancer, but at the rate my bones are deteriorating, I'd be in grave danger. As it stands, I'm still nursing so medications and even my herbal route from before are out.

She told me, very seriously, that I needed to make sure I was getting 1200 mg of calcium and 1000-2000 of Vitamin D a day. She said it could be from food or supplement, but I needed to ensure I was getting that much.

I've been taking Young Living's Super Cal Plus. The calcium levels are lower, but my understanding is it's more bioavailable to the body. As I researched calciums, the issue is a lot of people JUST take calcium or JUST calcium and D3. As I learned more about calcium, I started to see how controversial it is. Now, the controversy seems to be because people are just taking calcium supplements. Calcium by itself isn't absorbed by your body and what happens is it floats around and gathers in your arteries. This is what causes calcification and morphs into heart disease. In order for your bones to actually absorb the calcium, there needs to be adequate levels of calcium, D3, K2 and magnesium. People tend to overlook the K2 and magnesium. The Super Cal plus has all of them. It's enriched with essential oils that help make it more bioavailable and absorb better. I also like it is an algae sourced calcium.

I've also been drinking protein shakes that are calcuim rich. I add fortified almond milk, Orgain Superfoods protein powder and one scoop of Young Living's Balance complete which is higher in the calcium and fiber.

In addition to that, I looked more into Young Living's BLM. This one has glucosamine sulfate, collagen, MSM, Manganese and essential oils. As I broke down the ingredients, glucosamine sulfate has promising research that it can help bones heal faster. I haven't tried it yet, but put it on this month's order.

Another supplement I reviewed with my endocrinologist is strontium. Now, I've researched it before, but when I looked it up, it was suggested not to take while nursing, so I haven't taken it. When I brought it up though, she right away said she knew about it, there was promising stuff she knew about people using it in Australia and that since it wasn't FDA approved (it's a supplement) she couldn't prescribe it, but was totally fine with my taking it. Score.

Now, a heads up, when you google this one, strontium ranelate will pop up with red flags...THAT is a medication. Here is the deal when it comes to drugs and pharmaceuticals. You cannot market a natural mineral (like strontium.) In order to make money, drug companies must take a chemical constituent in a naturally occurring substance, make a synthetic version and THEN patent it. Ranelic acid is the synthetic compound used to create this drug. NATURAL strontium that is used in supplements in strontium citrate. As long as you are taking more calcium than strontium citrate, there have not been ANY adverse reactions reported in over 100 years.

I dug around and found a few good sources of natural strontium. Here is one and here. I love the GARDEN OF LIFE vitamin products and use this one for my multi vitamin. Now, I use the 50 and wise version because there is no iron. I have hemochromatosis so I can't have iron. If you need iron, search one of their other varieties.

So, my battle plan is to do weights a few times of week, be diligent walking and working out and once I wean my son start a bioidentical hormone therapy. I agreed to do a very low dose BHRT with a transdermal patch. She was going to prescribe oral, but I asked if transdermal would work. I want to bypass the liver processing the meds and lower my risk of blood clot and she agreed. It was funny, but when I asked for a bioidentical hormone she said my insurance didn't cover it. I said, I'm certain it does. She went on to explain they've no compounding pharmacies and was kind enough to humor me...so I pulled up this website and showed her that the FDA actually has several approved bioidentical hormones. The crazy part is the one she was going to prescribe was on there. Yay!

Here is the website so you can reference it. There are a lot of bioidentical ones available on the market that are covered by insurance so you don't have to spend hundreds a month at a compounding pharmacy.

I'm giving a shout out to my sister in law at Pod Performance. Beth is awesome. I text her asking for some recommendations on bone building workouts that would fit in my schedule (aka, no time at all.) She gave me a few suggestions that I could do when the kids were in the tub, when I was making dinner, etc. I need to make my bone health a priority, but have been freaking out how to fit it all in. Check out her page! 

After weaning, I will also start using my strontium supplement and a few other Young Living ones that are intended to support healthy hormones like Femigen and PD80/20. PD80/20 has DHEA which is the precurser to testosterone. There have been some positive studies about that one and bone health as well.

Right now, I'm using my calcium in addition to Ningxia red, multi greens, Life 9 probiotic, sulfurzyme, omegagize fish oil, Biosil  and a great collagen called Aminosculpt. I was diligently taking my minerals, and need to start that back up. I love Vital Earth's Fulvic Humic blend. It's not salty at all!

It was a discouraging day to say the least, but at least I've a game plan. I'm really upset I have to resort to medications, but I feel incredibly blessed that I had a doctor who listened to me, respected me, agreed with my concerns and found an option that I think is the best and safest method. How awesome is that?!

We considered my starting the BHRT now, but we both were a bit leery as I'm breastfeeding. The only contraindication really seems to be that my supply could dry up. BUT, as with any med, some gets in the breast milk, and we're talking about a hormone, soooo.... Makes me nervous. I'm also a milk donor. I don't want to mess with "stuff" in my milk that is going to another child.

I talked with the baby's mom yesterday about my doctor's visit. She actually watched my oldest while I went so he didn't have to sit in the waiting room with flu and colds and everything else! I talked to her about my visit and the options presented and she was too sweet to say that if I had to stop providing milk, my health came first. I told her following through to get her babies (she has twins - the boy relies on my milk) to a year is my goal and I'd committed that to her. They turn a year April 20th! A month and a half isn't going to make or break my bone health! I DID tell her though that at a year, I'd begin weaning from the pump. I don't mind my son nursing as long as he wants, but on some days I'm producing upwards of 30 oz for her. That's a lot of milk.

Something else I talked about with my endocrinologist is the fact I'd read about how breastfeeding can lower bone density temporarily and she verified that. When I'm done nursing, some bone density should come back. Not all I've lost, but a bit. That was reassuring.

Well, I've rambled long enough. It was a very emotional day. I feel so frustrated. My health overall, is good. I feel great. I've never been healthier. I don't get sick. I've good energy. And then this... I've no control over it and it's so frustrating and disheartening. I'm very type A in control and not having it...UGH!

As always, God Bless!