Sometimes God has a different path in store for us. After being diagnosed with POF, I set out on a journey to "repair" my body and get pregnant naturally. Somewhere along the line, although pristine health and self care is my goal, the necessity to "prove" the doctors wrong became less important and we sought the perfect solution to grow our family. We decided on Embryo Donation / Adoption. Read about our journey. Blessings!

Upper Cut

Sept. 4, 2014

Ok, not so Christian, but I'm feeling feisty. I was at the park and my friend who is pregnant through IVF after a year and a half of trying and one failed IVF treatment was talking to myself and another girl. This "other" girl was going on and on about how DIFFICULT it was for her to get pregnant and she knows EXACTLY how we feel... I was on the outskirts of the conversation because I didn't want to get into my whole diagnosis. I asked, "I'm so sorry, how long did it take you to get pregnant?"

"FOREVER!!!!!"

"Oh, how long?"

"Six months!!"

Birds chirping. Silence. Car drives by.

She then added, and then "my son was a surprise." So, first baby, six horrific months of timing things (and no, there was no OPKs or temping involved) and second baby, no trying. But, how horrible it spilled into a new deductible year.

You know, I can honestly say, even after diagnosis, I've never for one second been unhappy for anyone who has announced a pregnancy or birth. I've taken great joy in all the announcements, and used it as a catalyst of good baby juju. But today, I actually wanted to smack her. I left before I saw the reaction of my friend who has spent tens of thousands of dollars and several years of her life trying to have children.

Very petty and un-Christian of me, so please forgive me. I just hope anyone who reads this will be more empathetic in the future to how they talk about fertility. Six months when you are trying can feel like eternity, but in retrospect, it's a drop in the bucket. Until you go through fertility problems, don't presume you have more heartache.

On a different note. My temp went up four days ago, but it dropped slightly today. We'll see over the next few days if it stays up or drops and it was a "false" alarm. The one good sign though is my cervix dropped low, hard and closed yesterday, and it hasn't been in that position for almost two months, so I'm really hoping that is a positive sign I did ovulate. My OPKs remain positive though so, blah.

Ah, I feel much better after unloading to you all. This blog can be so therapeutic. Saves me from backhanding unsuspecting broads in the park if nothing else.

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