10 weeks 5 days pregnant

April 12, 2016

Inching our way toward the end of first tri. My genetic appointment on Friday went well. A substantial part of it was taking all my family history and my husband's which really wasn't applicable in my situation, but she said I had the time and insurance covered it, so why not. I gave her what I know about the donors which is very limited. I had a bit more on the egg donor, that she was screened of genetic diseases and was cleared, so she said since she was 21 and cleared of those, there was minimal risk of our baby having something wrong.

So, I took the NIPT blood test. It was Illumina, and I was a smidge annoyed because I'd called them in advance to ensure it was MaterniT21. However, I'll give her credit, she called Illumina with me sitting right there and they said the test would work even if it was donor egg or embryo, so we proceeded. She told me the test results would be in, in 7-10 days, but it could be a few days sooner...I heard sooner ;)

She said she'd call me as soon as they had them, good or bad news so not to panic. Since I find out before my hubby girl/boy, I'm debating doing something to reveal to him and our son what we are having. Hmmm....

I also chatted with my RE about my meds. Friday night my coordinator said to cut my PIO from 2 cc to 1 cc and she discontinued my delestrogen shots. I also had my OB order the estrogen and progesterone test.

Estradiol 1510
Progesterone 52.8

So higher numbers. Yesterday, I chatted again with my coordinator at the RE's office and they put me down to 1 estrace (vs 3) per day for seven days and took my PIO down to .5 cc for seven days...then done. I'll be between 11 and 12 weeks pregnant, so she said the placenta will be working in full force.

So, now we wait for the phone call and for our NT scan next Thursday. We're creeping toward second tri and I'm excited to hopefully get a bit more energy and leave this crud behind. :) I'm just thrilled the baby is doing well!

CD3 (maybe?) Test

Oct. 29, 2014

Well, I'm not certain it was truly CD3 yesterday, but given I have been spotting since last Thursday evening and had about a two hour flow of blood, I decided this was as close as I was getting to a cycle for now and decided to call my doctor for the test to look at hormones. It's so funny because I'd been dreading do it, but my TCM requested it on Thursday and I started spotting. Talk about God nudging me, huh? When all is said and done, I prayed and felt that I could peacefully handle the news, good or bad, and it was what was medically needed to continue treatment with my TCM.

Drum roll please...

Hormones upon diagnosis last Jan.

HCG - 7
FSH - 136
LH - 98
Estradiol - <12

Hormones yesterday Oct 28, 2014

HCG - 1
FSH - 48
LH - not taken CD3, but OPK is negative
Estradiol - 89

So, huge improvement right?

The one side of me was a bit bummed because it still is within "POF" levels, but the other side (the angel on my shoulder) is reminding me that my body has healed tremendously.

If I want to really analyze, CD3 numbers on this, as grim as they appear are better than what they were. HOWEVER, if it was an anovulatory cycle and these aren't true CD3 numbers, that is better news for me yet as any other time in the cycle these numbers could feasibly be that high even for women without POF. I'm making a conscious decision to not analyze it anymore.

For CD3, doctors like to see FSH below 9 and estradiol below 80. If above 80, it could artificially suppress the FSH number slightly. It's funny, I wanted a higher estradiol last time because it was 0 and I essentially had no estrogen in my body, so in a way, I'm glad it's higher, I just wish it were later in my cycle.

And, my levels before were POSTmenopausal and are now technically Perimenopausal (under 50) so THAT is improvement, right?? So, I've hormones more of an upper 40 / early 50 year old versus a 120 year old. Talk about winding back the clock, eh?

So, from here, I'll bring my numbers to my TCM tomorrow or Saturday depending on my husband's work schedule. I guess we just proceed with what we are doing. It seems to be working, I feel great and have no POF symptoms. I just wish it didn't come at such a high price tag. It's really been taking a toll on us financially.

At this point, I just truly do have to trust and have faith in a miracle. As much as I want to "will" it to happen, God is in control, and I trust him and him alone. It gives me comfort because if I had to trust myself to make it happen, I know my faith would falter. It's easier putting my faith in God above.

As for me emotionally, I'm going in and out of being at peace with it, and just being a bit emotional. I'm having my fair shake of "it's not fair" and "why is this happening to me" but this time, it's not nearly as devastating. Far more than those moments, I have a calm about me that things are indeed improving, and I've an odd peace that it will all work out. It will be fine.

God Bless!

Never say Never

March 7, 2014

I’m one step closer to “going live” on this blog. I’m a member of several forums and support groups and I just had a mom thank me for directing her to a website with information regarding herbs.  She said about her TEEN daughter “She is beyond the point of no return with her POF but herbal remedies might help with some of the physical issues.”

Are you kidding me right now?? Past the point of no return?? A TEEN!?!

Maybe she is. Maybe she was just born incredibly unlucky, but MAYBE SHE ISN’T!! This is why I’m so saddened by the medical profession. They don’t understand, your body is a WHOLE. Your body needs to be healthy through and through for it to function properly. How many teen girls out there are told they will never have functioning ovaries and just suck it up and get medicine for the rest of their life? It makes me sad and it makes me MAD!

No teen girl should be handed a diagnosis like that. You know what?  My numbers were past the point of no return by ALL medical stand points!! I’m one of the “worst” cases.

FSH 136.5

LH 98

Estradoil not even recognizable

AMF <.03

But, I don’t believe that nonsense. They handed me that “diagnosis” without even asking anything going on in my life. No symptoms, stresses, etc. My TCM listened to everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. They want to know all your stresses, how you handle them, any discharge, how often you have a bowel movement, what you eat, exercise, etc. The list goes on and on.

Please please please. No matter your age, NEVER let them tell you your case is hopeless. I just started reading The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis, and if you struggle with any type of infertility, please do yourself a favor and read this book. It will open you eyes. Your body is a WHOLE. It is not a part. Treat your WHOLE body right and your fertility will be restored.

God bless you. All of you out there struggling with infertility and especially this “disease.” With POF, you are written off as hopeless. Do not let them. Do not. Do not. Do not.

My LH was 98! 98!! Within a month I brought it down to not even register on an OPK. And you know what, I think I may have actually ovulated this month. My body surged last week but I never saw a temp shift. Well, two days ago, I got another positive OPK, fertile CM and a high soft cervix. This morning, my temp shifted by .38 degrees up. We will see if it stays up there and what the next two weeks brings, but six weeks ago I was told it was impossible. Hang in there!