Yoni Steam or "V Steam"

July 1, 2015

Well, it's been a while since I posted because I really had no new info. I spotted for a good 11 days which I'm starting to think is my "period." I spotted 10 days last time and both occurred at 45 day intervals. My gut tells me I'm just not building up enough endometrial lining to have a proper "bleed."

I know many of you will think I'm just plain batty, but hear me out. A while back in a mommy group someone posted a link of Gwyneth Paltrow and how they thought she was off her rocker for getting a V-steam. (Exactly what it sounds like folks, a vagina steam.) There was one girl who'd tried it...more about her later. As I looked more into it...it made sense to me. Maybe it's because of all the TCM, acupuncture and Eastern medicine alternatives I've been living in accordance to, but encouraging adequate blood flow down there is integral to reproductive health.

I saw the post, saw the horrified reaction to it and kind of forgot about it. Fast forward a few months. I was at a birthday party and a fellow mom asked me how my infertility issues were going. She had seen my post during National Infertility Week and messaged me privately about having to grab a cup of coffee...we needed to talk. I told her, kind of same old same old. Well, listen to this, she said.

She had been trying for several years to conceive her son. Her doctor finally ran labs on her and her FSH came back at 33. For all us POF ladies, we know what that means. POI / POF diagnosis was imminent. She scheduled a consult with a fertility doctor, but there was a three month wait so she continued her acupuncture and TCM and heard about this crazy thing called a Yoni Steam. She decided to give it a whirl...couldn't hurt. So, she went to a little spa in Korea Town and had a vagina steam. Low and behold, she conceived that cycle. Two years go by and she is trying for number two. Knows it's near impossible but thought, eh, I'll have it done again, see if it works. Has it done, and PRESTO! Now, that can be purely coincidental I know, but she told me as crazy as it sounds, seriously just try it.

So, I thought back to that thread on Facebook, searched it, found the girl who'd tried it and messaged her. She looked back through her emails to when she tried it and found out it was the month before she'd conceived her son. She says she has no clue if THAT is what did it, but the timing was uncanny.

I talked to my husband about it, expecting he'd be horrified and in stride he just said, "Do it. It can't hurt." And, he's right. I priced out two spas that do it in town and prices range from $60-$90 for a V-steam. The gal on Facebook did it herself so I started looking into that. I was worried where I'd get the proper herbs, until I ran across the site Vibrant Souls. This site not only had amazing info on the Yoni Steam (more pleasant and anatomically correct than V-steam) but also had the herbs for sale and very reasonably priced.

For $15 you get three steams and if you sign up for their monthly membership it has free shipping and their guided meditation. My friend who did it at home said she paid $5 for the herbs in store, so the price was identical, but Vibrant Souls uses all organic certified herbs in the amounts that are correct. I figure why not.

I contacted the owner and asked if I could get a sample to review for you and she's popping it in the mail. I'm really hoping I love it and I plan to sign up for the monthly membership. I figure one acupuncture session is $40 and I go twice a month. If a Yoni Steam promotes blood flow and health down there, that's a fraction of the cost to steam three times a month. Whether it miraculously causes a spontaneous pregnancy, or just prepares my womb to carry for our embryo adoption, it's a win win.

As soon as it arrives and I'm able to give it a try, I will definitely let you know how it goes and what I think. I'm really excited to try it. I've tried all other holistic routes and after seeing how beneficial they've all been, I can't help but think, as crazy as it sounds to someone not rooted in holistic treatment, that I see the vast possibilities in it.

I'll write more about it and how it benefits when I post my review.

In other news, I'm off to the chiropractor in a few minutes to get cracked before boarding a plane for a nice lengthy vacation with my son. I'm trying to fit in TCM on Friday before I go as well. I know I should probably have a nice acupuncture session and get stocked on herbs.

EA is still on stand still. I knew we wouldn't hear anything until August, but I catch myself getting nervous and excited. I started an online course in epigenetics. It's way way way above my head because it talks about all the DNA coding and how and why it varies. My interest is more in the EA aspects of how epigenetics would apply to embryo adoption and the mother carrying the baby. I was told by the instructor later lectures would be more applicable, but it was important to know the science behind it.

I feel like I'm in a Charlie Brown world with the teacher going "wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa." Thankfully, I'm doing it for knowledge, not accreditation. I can kind of pick and chose what I pay attention to. There is also a great documentary on it on youtube. Although that one covers the science of it in the beginning, it is in layman's terms ;) They get more into the EA aspects toward the end.

In a nut shell. Everyone has genetic coding, but there are things that "turn off" certain genes and "turn" others on. Although an embryo may have coding for blue eyes, they could be light or dark depending on what "turns" on that gene. So, a genetic sibling to a baby I carry may have light blue eyes and my baby have dark blue eyes because that is what I have. Same with hair, personality traits, medical issues. All very fascinating.

They are finding that for people outside EA, it is incredibly applicable that how your great grandmother ate may affect your medical issues now. Something I thought interesting in terms of POF. I personally feel that as generations from us are born we will see some adverse effects from the toxins in our environment, food and medicines. I'm excited more research in the field is being done. Diseases like Alzheimers and Diabetees they are finding may be fueled by epigenetic factors.

Any who, I went off on a nerd tangent.

As always, keep the Faith and God Bless!

·         Tap

EA and TCM

June 6, 2015

Well, big news yesterday!! Our clinic called and we have a probable match. All the fine details need to be worked out, but if all goes according to plan, we may be adopting three beautiful little embies come August or September.

A couple is donating 7 embryos, and they are splitting them, four to a couple ahead of us in line, and three to us. God was shining down, they are three fully hatched blasts that come from a donor egg situation and have all been genetically tested. The odds of hatched blasts? Slim. The odds of embryos from a healthy, young donor egg? Slim. The odds of genetically tested embryos? Slim. The odds of all three? Nearly impossible.

Why does this all excite me so? Here's a breakdown. When a couple does IVF, a certain percentage of the eggs fertilize. Of those, some go on the grow and by day three some have arrested. Of those, some of those typically arrest by day 5. Of those, some have cells that aren't grouped correctly or may not hatch. ALL of these are hatched.

Why am I excited it was a donor egg? Many couples who go through IVF have their own set of fertility issues. Some are from older women where the eggs may not be as young. As women age, there is a higher risk that there are genetic abnormalities in the eggs. A bleak statistic is 80-90% of eggs women over 40 have aren't "good eggs." You know how I feel about statistics. I throw that out the window. I think it has more to do with overall health, but the reality is, when you're in your 20s, your eggs are more healthy.

The genetically tested? That REALLY gets me excited because we've already ruled out most genetic issues the embryos could have. Most miscarriages are caused because the embryos have genetic issues that impede implantation or correct development. Knowing the embryos don't have those issues, increases the chances of a live, healthy birth significantly.

I'll keep you posted how all this unfolds. For now, it's an exciting possibility.

I went back to TCM today. As expected, my pulse was a bit wiry. They were concerned if I'd been dealing with some emotional things or was tired. Well, yes to both. My husband has been traveling five days a week and although I'm relieved and feel blessed for the work, anyone can tell you that leaves some pressures and stresses to the parent at home who also works full time. Is what it is. I'll just keep trying to relax.

They also stressed that I need to eat more. More fats. More proteins. So, I have to concentrate on that as well. The acupuncture itself was fine. I had to chuckle. I know I've talked about what a character my male doctor is. He came in midway through my session and said, "Emily, are you Mormon." You'd be surprised how often I get asked that! I said, "No, why?" "Just wondering," and he left.

I inquired after why he asked. My friend who introduced me to him is Mormon and he went on to tell me that he used to be Mormon. The missionaries in Taiwan were the ones who taught him English. I swear this man has done everything. Black belt, pizza restaurant owner, Ex-Mormon, now Buddhist chanter, meditator and acupuncturist TCM. I love his stories!

I told him about the EA and he was confused. He thought I was attempting IVF and was trying to tell me not to waste my money right now, I wasn't ready. Once he understood it wouldn't be my eggs, he said I should want my own child. Erm. Thanks for input. I laugh it off. It's generational and cultural. He DID say however that if we go that route, they can help us with the transfer and "holding" the baby there.

All in all, is what it is. I'm home, about to make a big ole protein smoothie and catch up with work before my son wakes from his nap.

I feel good about things though. I feel like there is no pressure. If we conceive, awesome. If not, knowing we have 3 possible embryos is exciting. My husband and I both knew right away this was right for us, because we were elated with the call. It's moving faster for us than they typical couple I imagine because we had no preference for ethnicity, so we jumped in front of quite a few waiting couples. For us, a healthy baby is our priority.

We'll see if my ovaries get antsy and make one last Hail Mary ;)

God Bless!

Biting the Bullet

May 28, 2015

Sorry, I feel like I've left you hanging! I haven't posted because there isn't a huge amount to update you on. I ended up spotting for about 10 days. Looking back at the period before the cycle I actually conceived my son I did the same thing. Interesting, knowing what I know now...

I guess the big news is, that on Monday, my husband approached me and said he wanted to actively pursue embryo adoption. We both had a nice talk and feel that if God wants to bless us with a biological child, it's his time. That could be while we wait, while we draw contracts, after the birth... We don't know, but we trust it. In the mean time, we both feel like this is a good opportunity for our family.

We had an open dialog about foster to adopt too. For many reasons, we've opted at this time to not pursue it. I'm a bit bummed, but realistically, we would have to commit to family meetings with the biological family for potentially 18 months several times a week which would require my not working (which we depend on.) My son now only goes to daycare 3 days (this is when I work) so if we tried to do visits his off days, the poor kid would have his schedule revolve around car rides and waiting around for our foster child's visits. I feel bad about restricting him to that. We love our time together.

The other thing is, and I admire my husband's honesty, he would not be able to be patient and lenient with the biological family without judgement. Fostering would require us keep their reunification at the forefront and to not speak badly of them in front of the child he felt would be challenging, but more to bite his tongue in front of them and when dealing with them. I appreciated his honesty. He's a very, say what you mean kind of guy, and as much as I love him, diplomacy isn't his forte.

I do so love the idea of foster to adopt though and we're still considering it as a future option. We've talked about potentially still doing the training now to see if our views change throughout it and if we are called to pursue it. I'll keep you posted.

So, that's where we're at. Still having faith, trudging along :)

God Bless!

Back to TCM

May 14, 2015

Well, today was back to TCM. My female half of the dynamic duo was back from China, and sadly, rather depressed. I think the full gravity of her father's passing has really hit her. She teared up several times during our session.

My pulses I gather were a bit weak today. She knew right off the bat I was dealing with some emotional things. They diagnosed it as depression. I know what that means for them. Stress, emotions, etc. They told me to "relax relax relax." That seems to be the motto that surrounds me whenever I visit. She did say my tongue looked good, so I guess my body overall is doing better.

I talked to them about my osteopenia diagnosis, low estrogen and trouble sleeping and asked them to brew help for all of the above into my magical herb concoction. My male TCM explained to me that they are really trying to fortify my kidney channel which would help all of the above. The kidney channel controls the ovaries, which control the estrogen, which controls the calcium in my bones. And all of the above help sleep.

Give me an extra dose of that, please.

During my acupuncture they put on a new music mix, which, apparently was suppose to be calming and therapeutic and it could not have been further from it. It was like a combo of Chinese music and an Irish jig. I laid there eyes wide open trying to stop my feet from doing the Riverdance on the table. When she came in to adjust my needles I tried to ask her to change it, but she didn't understand me and left. Ah well. I did mention to him when I was done that I prefer the other music. This one just made me want to dance.

I'm back tracking here to my chiropractor appointment this last Monday. I told him also about the osteopenia and he said he was glad I told him but was concerned if they were putting me on any medications. I told him no that I wanted to treat holistically, bracing myself for any backlash and he gave me the thumbs up and said "good for you. That stuff is nasty. Like, really bad for you."

I've been exploring how to raise my estrogen again. I've been doing more research on phytoestrogens. Although I'm still avoiding soy because it can wreak havoc on normal hormonal function, I'm trying to introduce a few phytoestrogens to see if a higher "estrogen" level in my body can help prevent osteoperosis and consequently lower my FSH enough to let me body take over hormone production.

Some of the phytoestrogen I've been using I believe has helped improve my estradiol levels. In my opinion, the shatavari root helps as well as some of the essential ols.

I feel like this is all a wait and see thing. Some will work. Some won't. And, it's important to remember that everybody's body chemistry is different so what works for me may not work for you.

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday and it feels a little bitter sweet to me. All the hub bub about fertility declining after 35 and throw on top of it I'm technically already post menopausal and it makes me feel like it's a lost cause...and then I regroup and say "Screw it. I reject the stupid diagnosis."

I guess what it all comes down to is faith. I was talking to my friend the other night (who just adopted the embryos) and she was asking me about our plans. I told her I just didn't know. I've been praying so hard for a clear definite sign and I've felt like my faith was lacking I hadn't gotten it yet. I said I was in awe, and a bit jealous how her signs were, quite literally, undeniable.

She said something that was so reassuring to me. She said sometimes you just need to start moving ahead and that your feelings are the best indication of God speaking in your life. If we start training for fost adopt and we get that feeling in our gut it isn't right, it isn't. Or if we start the adoption process with embryos and have that sinking feeling, it isn't right. If we start either and we feel excited...Bingo.

I told her my fear pursuing anything right now is that I've put so much faith in God that I will be healed or miraculously get pregnant, that I feel like I'm saying I've lost my faith if I pursue either option. She made me feel better about it not admitting defeat or losing faith. She made a good point that we could go ahead with either and still conceive. It will never be an "end of the road" situation.

I do feel that we've a lot of wonderful options and I'm excited and really scared to explore them. I know and trust our child will find his or her way into our family. Perhaps God had bigger plans than I intended and I need to graciously accept the journey. And, by that, I mean all the things I've learned about valuing my son even more, my relationship with my husband and family, living every day as healthy as I can, as full as I can and finding a closer relationship to God.

I suppose I've rambled long enough.

God Bless!

POF and Pregnant (not me!)

May 13, 2015

I just had to jump on here and update you all with some wonderful news. The support group I am a woman announced she is pregnant this morning.

She conceived through a non medicated IVF cycle. She had only one follicle, her FSH was 29 and was given a very grim prognosis, but she is now due Jan. 20! There are several more in that same group pregnant now, or holding beautiful babies that conceived 100% naturally with no medical intervention.

For many of us, we were given a one in a million or one in ten million odds, so to have several ladies in a forum of 996 members (many of woman many of whom are NOT trying to conceive, just there for moral support of physical ailments and emotional support) is amazing!! It just goes to show there are a LOT of miracle conceptions out there and those statistics are just not accurate.

I'm hoping this bit of news brings as much joy and a smile to your face as it did to me today!

As for me, I've been spotting over a week now. Annoying to say the least, but my blood work had shown a very high FSH and a lower estradoil level so I figure my body is busy sorting stuff out. I anticipate this is either my "period" and I had a thin endometrial lining from low estrogen, or it's just breakthrough bleeding and I'll start my period in a few weeks. Who knows.

All I DO know, is I had a horrible day yesterday trying to not let the depression take over. I kept telling God I needed a in your face sign and was praying for strength and woke up to this. It completely relieved my anxiety. God is in control. Always is.

God Bless.

Doctor Consult

May 4, 2015

Well, by endocrinologist called with my results. Other than my elevated LH and FSH and low estrogen, all my labs were normal. She even commented that my iron levels, although higher than normal, were far, far lower than she anticipated. She said I'm doing an excellent job managing my hemochromatosis.

She did say her recommendation was estrogen therapy to stop the bone loss. However, she told me until we were done trying to have children, that was out of the question as HRT would do nothing to prevent my bone loss. Interesting because that is what everyone seems to recommend for POF. She said HRT was a low dose estrogen, usually given to post menopausal woman to help with symptoms like hot flashes, but it was not a high enough dose to prevent bone loss in a 35 year old woman. She would put me on birth control pills, which is a much higher dose estrogen until I was 51, at the typical menopausal age.

I think a lot of POF advocates would disagree with the above assessment as HRT is touted as helping to prevent bone loss. I honestly just don't know who or what to believe. In my heart, I don't like the idea of a lifetime of pharmaceuticals that have a list a mile long of side effects.

I did appreciate she didn't push the subject. She said I have to be ready to give up the thought of having a baby first. We scheduled a dexa scan for in two years. She said without therapy she didn't anticipate it getting better, but with calcium, vitamin D and weight bearing exercises hopefully it wouldn't worsen too much.

I did ask her about just having bone loss in the spine and she said there was a bit in my hips as well. They define bone loss as two standard deviations away from another woman my same age. So, -2 is the cut off. My hips were -2.1 and my spine -2.3. So, although it does show bone loss, I don't think it's too alarming to be so slightly below. Given my petite size and low body mass, it's typical to be on the low end of that bell curve.

I really don't like the thought of birth control for the rest of my life. I blame part of my issues on being on it for 15 years to start with. For now, I think I'll just concentrate on being healthy and supplementing. There are a few oils and supplements that are phytoestrogens that I'd like to try to incorporate (slowly so as not to disrupt a good thing I've got going here) to try and elevate my estrogen levels to prevent bone loss naturally.

But, as always, just trusting my body will get things in gear on it's own with God's healing hand.

Cycle Day 42 Check In

May 3, 2015

Just a quick check in for you. Not a whole lot has changed here. Still feeling great, sleeping well and am asymptomatic. I did get a Zyto re-do at the event the other night and am happy to report my heart and inner child (emotional blockages) are clear. I really do think opening up about our struggles helped release a lot of my inner demons and depression.

It was funny, the oil it suggested was Brain Power. I had been running around like a maniac trying to get things set for that evening, juggle work, my son's schedule and some acting things. I had 30 "points" out of line and 20 were from that. So, honestly I just laughed and felt really good about it. I knew that was only a temporary issue from stress and a crazed mind.

The other oil suggested was celery seed, which I thought was really interesting because I can usually smell it in my TCM herbs. It's usually one of the strongest herbs in there, and I remember telling my mom I couldn't smell the celery seed in this last batch. Apparently, my body missed it.

The other one was a cortisol supplement, that I too think was only a temporary issue due to stress.

All in all, my imbalances were minor, which I honestly thought they would be going in. I feel great. My breasts have been a bit tender on and off so I feel like my body is pumping some hormones. I haven't been charting, but I'm on day 42 of this cycle. For now, just plugging along to see what happens.

I go back and forth about charting the next cycle. My TCM wants me to, but I find it liberating not. Honestly, I think I may just hold off on that. I've kind of placed it in God's hands and am trusting that. I feel like charting and all the testing just kept reinstating in my mind I was "sick" versus giving it to God and trusting and expecting I am well. The trusting I am healed has manifested as my feeling good and having no symptoms. I'll go with that. As silly as it sounds, I give my body affirmations it's well and functioning properly. Good thing I've always been a good listener, eh?  ;)

My next chore is to get into a gym. Right now, I've been really conscientious about taking long and fast strolls with my son every other day or so. When I'm working, I take mini breaks and do 50 jumping jacks before sitting back behind the desk. I know it's a minor change, but I want my circulation getting blood where it needs to go (hello, ovaries that's you) and to get some more weight bearing time in for my spine.

It's curious, my aunt went in for her dexa scan after chemo and she mentioned it's good she's being monitored because her sister (my mom ) and I have early onset osteopenia, but only in the spine. Her doctor said she's not convinced we do as any shadow in the spine could register as bone loss. An injury, misalignment, anything. She said she only really went by bone loss in the ankle. My doctor didn't check for that. I do have a phone consult on Monday to go over my results, so I'll ask about the bone loss only in the spine.

Off to church. God Bless and stay strong!